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Original poster

Would you marry for wealth?

369 replies

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 17:40

On a thread recently a woman in her 30s said she pursued a man 40 years her senior in a quest to secure financial security.
As a female of a similar age, it made me think a lot. Whilst I can't, or at least at a stage, couldn't imagine sleeping with a man of that age, I can see why people would do it and can make sense of it.
The poster said she was sick of being broke and working for nothing and with that I can relate to. She never gave any details of her job etc but as a college graduate with a degree I myself work in a professional job yet am still renting and likely always will be with little savings and bugger all pension really.
The older I get the more it scares me and I would consider it I think sometimes but I don't know if I could go through with it. Could you?

OP posts:
Gemma2019 · 02/10/2021 19:21

Unfortunately I think I am past the age where a rich pensioner would even consider me as a trophy wife (unless they were visually impaired) but I can understand why people would consider it.

It's been a long time since I worked in that area but I have seen many "employment contracts" for this sort of arrangement, although it's normally older gay men and younger women rather than straight men. Give up five or ten years, sometimes provide an heir or two and you are set up for life.

VladmirsPoutine · 02/10/2021 19:22

So many people who think happiness comes with money! How naive?

Or is it naive to think that if you just work 'hard enough' and be 'very determined' you will one day be able to afford the Hermès handbag you've always wanted. Or even just a generally good standard of life. I've known people who worked 2 or 3 jobs and were barely making ends meet.

Iamthewombat · 02/10/2021 19:25

@VladmirsPoutine

So many people who think happiness comes with money! How naive?

Or is it naive to think that if you just work 'hard enough' and be 'very determined' you will one day be able to afford the Hermès handbag you've always wanted. Or even just a generally good standard of life. I've known people who worked 2 or 3 jobs and were barely making ends meet.

This! Loads of people graft hard all their lives and end up with very little.
Whoopy1 · 02/10/2021 19:26

I know a man who is in his late 80’s. I have known him for over 30 years and he is about the ugliest and tight fisted man I have ever come across.

About 20 years ago, when he was holidaying abroad, he met a woman in her early 30’s. Within a few months of meeting they married and she came to live in the U.K. She says it was love at first sight, which it may possibly have been, and nothing to do with the fact he was a multi millionaire.

I don’t think she realised, when she married him, that he would expect her to work for her own pocket money. He also made her sign a pre nuptial agreement that if she left him she would not have a claim on his money. If they are still together, she will receive the house and around £1million when he dies, the rest has been put in trust for his children (none of whom are with her). She certainly will have earned that money!

DressBitch · 02/10/2021 19:26

Yes.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/10/2021 19:27

Would I marry a man who understood it was transactional? Yes. He would get a younger wife and a nice home life. I would get financial security.

Would I pretend to love someone in order to get their money? No.

Spiritualwarfare · 02/10/2021 19:27

Thanks DrSbaitso that's true. I knew if we split I'd have to work really silly hours to pay down a mortgage and I'd not see much of my kids.

I do think there is a lot of LTB on this website but back in the real world for a lot of marriages that are going through problems, if you hold on long enough you see again what made you marry in the first place (not money in my case).

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 19:27

@vivainsomnia

65% would marry an elderly person for money? Unbelievable!

So many people who think happiness comes with money! How naive? Living everyday with someone you share nothing with, who might expect much in return for his money, who has full control over you.

No money can make this bearable. So depressing how material some women have become. And we give men a bad name! How about trying to make your own fortune?

It's funny that you think it's everyone else who's naive.
TalkSenseIntoMe · 02/10/2021 19:30

Given how utterly difficult life is without money and with a husband who has never stepped up whilst watching me do all the hard work (both in our personal lives and professionally), YES. Yes I bloody would.

CaptSkippy · 02/10/2021 19:30

@COOKFORD She was never in his will and being married to him didn't help her any.

arield · 02/10/2021 19:32

@AlexaShutUp

No, I wouldn't prostitute myself for money, which is essentially the same thing.
No it isn't.
Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:32

So many people who think happiness comes with money! How naive

with house prices these days it's not even necessarily about money though, it's just getting the necessities. I could see plenty of marrying for money scenarios in the next generations especially with the state of the housing market.

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 02/10/2021 19:33

Yes I would, basically.

OhWhyNot · 02/10/2021 19:34

Not worrying about bills, rent, nice holidays, not having to worry I shall be working into my 70’s, can buy new clothes not have to look on eBay for nice clothes I can afford, can shop all the time in waitrose or M&S if I want to

Doesn’t seem like a hard life to me

AlexaShutUp · 02/10/2021 19:35

arield how is it different from prostitution? It is entering into a sexual relationship for money. The only difference is the legal status and the length of that relationship, but the fundamental principle is the same.

I am not judging people who turn to prostitution because they feel that they have no other way of supporting themselves. I just wouldn't do it myself.

Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:36

She was never in his will and being married to him didn't help her any

it's pretty hard for a woman to walk away with nothing though if her husband dies, under laws in many countries the spouse is entitled to a minimum amount.

OP posts:
Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:37

Doesn’t seem like a hard life to me

imagine having to sleep with a man you have no attraction to. That would be hard.

OP posts:
Helendee · 02/10/2021 19:37

Is it ok for a man to marry for wealth?

CaptSkippy · 02/10/2021 19:38

@COOKFORD

She was never in his will and being married to him didn't help her any

it's pretty hard for a woman to walk away with nothing though if her husband dies, under laws in many countries the spouse is entitled to a minimum amount.

True, but often they don't get it and the laws around this are not always enforced. Too many men get away with not paying any maintenance money for the kids even.
Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:39

True, but often they don't get it and the laws around this are not always enforced. Too many men get away with not paying any maintenance money for the kids even

few women are going to walk away easily with nothing from their husband's will.

OP posts:
Brainwave89 · 02/10/2021 19:40

So you will see lots of comments on here saying no I would not do it. I am more cynical. Most mature women would value solvency and stability and would therefore not marry purely for money, but would sensibly consider how comfortable a life will be with a partner. Its a spectrum though. I would not marry someone very much older than me purely for money.

user1471462428 · 02/10/2021 19:40

I think if you’ve ever struggled to feed your children the answer would be yes. Watching your child go hungry changes your mentality a drastic amount.

Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:41

Is it ok for a man to marry for wealth

not any different. I only put the question out to women as the story in the thread was a younger woman and an elderly man.

OP posts:
forinborin · 02/10/2021 19:42

@Wilkolampshade

.... how much money, OP?
Not the OP, but I think my personal cut off point would be somewhere in the top 5% income / asset wise.
AICM · 02/10/2021 19:44

It's like feminism never happened.

All those saying yes need to.pray the gender pay gap never closes, that the Patriarchy never falls and that their looks never fade.

If you marry a man for money, that man is marrying for youth and looks and in a few years will be a lot of women younger and prettier than you.

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