Page 6 | Would you marry for wealth?

COOKFORD · 2021-10-02T16:40:34+00:00

On a thread recently a woman in her 30s said she pursued a man 40 years her senior in a quest to secure financial security. As a female of a similar age, it made me think a lot. Whilst I can't, or at least at a stage, couldn't imagine sleeping with a man of that age, I can see why people would do it and can make sense of it. The poster said she was sick of being broke and working for nothing and with that I can relate to. She never gave any details of her job etc but as a college graduate with a degree I myself work in a professional job yet am still renting and likely always will be with little savings and bugger all pension really. The older I get the more it scares me and I would consider it I think sometimes but I don't know if I could go through with it. Could you?

MakingM · 02/10/2021 19:06

@COOKFORD

You should tell Mick Jagger. It doesn't seem to stop him

wealthy celebs are in a different league to the average person so it's no real comparison. He can afford nannies etc

You said old and rich. You're changing the goalposts now. So now you're just coming across as clearly not really considering it and just being judge-y about another thread that you've read. That's really quite sad.

fallfallfall · 02/10/2021 19:07

@COOKFORD, What’s your view on aging period? Are 65 year old women all old crows? Are 70 year old women ready for the grave? Because plenty are fit and look great.
Wondering if you feel negatively towards both senior groups equally?

Original poster

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:07

No, I’d rather have nothing than do that

have you ever had nothing though and lived in poverty?

OP posts:

CaptSkippy · 02/10/2021 19:08

If you marry a man for money he will marry you for your looks. His wealth will likely increase while your looks will fade. In the mean time you have not built up a resume, skills or a pension. If he drops you you will be financially worse off than before you married him. Except, now you will also have a gap in your resume and have reduced your earning potential along with your looks.

Original poster

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:09

What’s your view on aging period? Are 65 year old women all old crows? Are 70 year old women ready for the grave? Because plenty are fit and look great.
Wondering if you feel negatively towards both senior groups equally

meh I'll be honest and say what anybody my age thinks of people in their 60s and 70s-they arent' physically attractive. I'll get there to, there's no alternative but when I do arrive at 65 I'd be fooling myself to think any saying person in their 30s would want to sleep with me.

OP posts:

Mynextname · 02/10/2021 19:10

Like many if you would have asked me in my 20s absolutely not.

But, with a bit more wisdom.. so many women are in relationships where they have never been in love and are trapped due to circumstances. On top of this despite getting an education and working hard they remain poor to the point that the stress and exhaustion makes them physically ill.

Surely, even having that pressure taken off in a relationship would make the other person easier to put up with.

Better to have money than love than none at all.

I'm not even convinced soul mate kind of love even exists. So many people can think they are perfectly happy only for their partner to be secretly unhappy.

Wilkolampshade · 02/10/2021 19:10

.... how much money, OP?

Original poster

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:11

in the mean time you have not built up a resume, skills or a pension. If he drops you you will be financially worse off than before you married him

the chances are you will get a good divorce settlement. That's the whole point.

OP posts:

Blossomtoes · 02/10/2021 19:12

@WildFlowerBees

I wonder how many of those who married much older weather men were shocked when they realised with money came their wrinkly balls that they wanted slapped 7 days a week?

From my own experience and my friends’, hardly any. We live with men nearing 70 and sex is a distant memory for nearly all of us. A guy like this would almost certainly be in it for the kudos of having a much younger woman on his arm, a trophy wife.

Marchitectmummy · 02/10/2021 19:12

I wouldn't have married for money but I equally wouldn't have married someone who didn't financially match me / my family. Luckily it wasn't an issue husband is a match.

Original poster

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:13

.... how much money, OP

well if she was pursuing a man in his 70s and she was in her 30s I'd say she'd be looking for at least a house in somewhere like London to be left to her or be looking at a nice 7 figure inheritance so that she's well set up for life. A million in your 30s could leave you very comfortable if you are sensible with it.

OP posts:

vivainsomnia · 02/10/2021 19:13

65% would marry an elderly person for money? Unbelievable!

So many people who think happiness comes with money! How naive? Living everyday with someone you share nothing with, who might expect much in return for his money, who has full control over you.

No money can make this bearable. So depressing how material some women have become. And we give men a bad name! How about trying to make your own fortune?

Spiritualwarfare · 02/10/2021 19:14

I'm probably going to be flamed on here but here goes.

Unfortunately my twenty year marriage has not always been roses and giggles and there have been some rough periods where I have spoken to solicitors with a view to splitting. For some reason we have held on and come out the other side together each time but I know my husband would agree we've come very close to splitting at least three times.

I think through the bad times feeling comfortable enough to binge shop online and have a takeaway a few nights away have kept me going. Without some of the comforts, I am not sure I would have made it through. Likewise, knowing that if we were to split our equity etc would have been split in two and I would have no longer been comfortable for my kids has also made me think twice.

I should say that the comfort came after we married so I didn't marry for money but it has helped me stay married during very tough times, in all honesty.

PetuniaButterworth · 02/10/2021 19:14

I think I could go through with it if...

They had all there own teeth
Had excellent hygiene
Made me laugh
And I wasn't in love with anyone else.

CaptSkippy · 02/10/2021 19:14

@COOKFORD

in the mean time you have not built up a resume, skills or a pension. If he drops you you will be financially worse off than before you married him

the chances are you will get a good divorce settlement. That's the whole point.

Ask Anna Nicole Smith how that worked for her? He left her with nothing so she had no choice but to go back into porn.

Spiritualwarfare · 02/10/2021 19:14

He's not 70 though. Or a Harrison Ford lookalike.

Spiritualwarfare · 02/10/2021 19:14

And I do fancy him.

Original poster

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:15

From my own experience and my friends’, hardly any. We live with men nearing 70 and sex is a distant memory for nearly all of us

i don't mean to sound harsh but sex is gone because you too are old, if it was a younger attractive women he'd want it.

OP posts:

Watchingyou2sleezes · 02/10/2021 19:15

If he had kids/grand kids etc she is an out and out thief trying to steal their inheritances.

Some sad old loner that accrued a few quid over the years- then good luck to her

Original poster

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:16

Ask Anna Nicole Smith how that worked for her? He left her with nothing so she had no choice but to go back into porn

i thought he did but the family kept contesting the will and it just became one court case after the other?

OP posts:

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 19:17

@Watchingyou2sleezes

If he had kids/grand kids etc she is an out and out thief trying to steal their inheritances.

Some sad old loner that accrued a few quid over the years- then good luck to her

Why is he not responsible for securing his wealth for his descendents? Why is that her fault?

Original poster

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:17

If he had kids/grand kids etc she is an out and out thief trying to steal their inheritances

no she's not, nobody is entitled to an inheritance. If he married her and made and she made him happy he can do what he wants with HIS money.

OP posts:

forinborin · 02/10/2021 19:17

So many people who think happiness comes with money! How naive?
It is a bit like "type 1" and "type 2" errors in statistics, I think. No, happiness does not necessarily come with money; but unhappiness, unfortunately, often comes with the absence of money.
At my ripe old age, I think I prefer false positives to true negatives now

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 19:20

@Spiritualwarfare

I'm probably going to be flamed on here but here goes.

Unfortunately my twenty year marriage has not always been roses and giggles and there have been some rough periods where I have spoken to solicitors with a view to splitting. For some reason we have held on and come out the other side together each time but I know my husband would agree we've come very close to splitting at least three times.

I think through the bad times feeling comfortable enough to binge shop online and have a takeaway a few nights away have kept me going. Without some of the comforts, I am not sure I would have made it through. Likewise, knowing that if we were to split our equity etc would have been split in two and I would have no longer been comfortable for my kids has also made me think twice.

I should say that the comfort came after we married so I didn't marry for money but it has helped me stay married during very tough times, in all honesty.

I don't see anything flameworthy in that. Money isn't everything but it makes life much easier and most of us would rather be crying in a mansion than a mud hut. Married couples are more likely to stay together and it wouldn't surprise me at all if this is a common reason as to why.

Marriage is a financial contract, after all. That's why unmarried couples who talk about not needing marriage to prove their love are quite right, but missing the point.

Iamthewombat · 02/10/2021 19:21

.... how much money, OP?

You said old and rich. You're changing the goalposts now. So now you're just coming across as clearly not really considering it and just being judge-y

This is how the thread is going to go now, OP. Your interesting question has sparked some lively debate but now the thread is going to disappear down a wormhole of:

Yeah but HOW rich? Exactly?

EXACTLY how much more money than the younger wife would the man have?

EXACTLY how good looking would he be? Name the exact celebrity he would look like and describe his personality in great detail.

What would the PRECISE details of the divorce settlement be? And the pre-nuptial agreement? Please post a draft prenup and divorce settlement for review.