Page 7 | Are we hopelessly naive? (Neighbour issue)

5BlackDoors · 03/10/2021 06:03

@LaurenKelsey

Ugh. Typical male BS.

this. I am so tired of bloody men. (Yes I know NAMALT blah blah but when this shit happens it is always men)

Bunchymcbunchface · 03/10/2021 17:53

He’s a serial killer

Standrews · 03/10/2021 17:53

I have my neighbours phone numbers and it has proved useful over the years. If your friend was as confused as I was then I would have gone round to wife and asked her if she knew what it meant!

Romney981 · 03/10/2021 17:57

Creep. Maybe he means his wife treats him like her little lap dog or something?

erasemybrain · 03/10/2021 18:14

Hi, definitely report to the police. They will be able to check his history and if there is anything concerning they can decide to disclose it to the person affected. They would probably pay a visit to tell him his conduct is unwelcome if that was something that was wanted but would be at "victims" wishes

ArranMumma · 03/10/2021 18:16

So I have literally no problem with kinks at all and am really non judgemental and open minded. However, I actually think it’s really concerning that he sprang this on her when she has not shown any sexual interest in him, or any interest in kink. As someone who is pretty chill about this sort of thing, I would feel afraid living next to this man, he’s shown that he doesn’t give a fuck what she thinks of him - such a lack of respect is scary and could mean he will take things further to disrespect her.

Poptasmagorical · 03/10/2021 18:26

My first thoughts were that I was going to get annoyed at the upcoming kink-shaming, but then I saw that this guy had propositioned OP's friend without any hint of invitation and was clearly overstepping boundaries. This does reek of sexual harassment and intimidation. Like others have said, he'll be getting off on the fact that he's contacted her, that she's had to find out about his kink, and that he's made her feel uncomfortable in his own home.

I mean, maybe he thought she'd be in to it and now he knows she's not he'll just leave her alone. But also maybe he will escalate his behaviour.

Absolute bastard making her feel like this in the one place she should feel safe from men. As if we don't have to worry enough as it is. Fucking men.

Poptasmagorical · 03/10/2021 18:27

*her own home d'oh

oakleydo · 03/10/2021 18:30

Is your friend single? Does he think shes fair game because she is?

This story has made my stomach churn

Id want to move. He sounds sick

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 03/10/2021 18:33

I'd report it too.

He is likely to escalate this behaviour. They always do.

I'm sorry your friend is in this situation.

SpacemanDad · 03/10/2021 18:43

This came up when I googled it.
Wish I used the “in private” setting on my browser.

Tell your friend to run like fuck

www.amazon.com/My-Life-Pet-Learning-human-ebook/dp/B016EIK2J0?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

YDBear · 03/10/2021 18:44

If he were my neighbour I would be getting a restraining order!

olidora63 · 03/10/2021 18:59

@Mightysquirrel

Okay, it seems we were being terribly naive. But first it's not unusual to have your neighbor's numbers around here, she has other people's numbers and so do I. He's not quite a stranger even though they're not friends. She's known him for more than 10 years.

So, he told her he'd like to put a cage in her cellar. He'll be her pet and get in it. He didn't give any more details except to say he's already got a cage. In his cellar I guess. I don't want to think about it too much. She replied that she can't help.
I've met him once or twice and he seemed very ordinary. He's a retired teacher FFS.

Have not read the full thread…but this has really made me laugh especially the ‘ sorry I can’t help ‘ reply 😂

AnnieSnap · 03/10/2021 19:08

I’d be responding ‘contact me about this sort of thing again and I’ll show your wife’!

Learningtobeafeministagain · 03/10/2021 19:12

@Wondergirl100

I would report him to the police. Without a second thought.

What for?

Granted I wouldn't want to be friends with him.

huuskymam · 03/10/2021 19:16

@BeenThruMoreThanALilBit

Oh Lordy, seems I’m totally naive

I want to know what his reply was!

Me too. First thing I thought was he was writing a kids book 🤔🤔

DadAManger · 03/10/2021 19:23

@olidora63 - “sorry, I can’t help…but there is a ‘Great Dane’ down the street that will bite your hand off if you make him a tempting offer”.

A few people have suggested contacting the authorities - am not sure on what grounds…and his hard drive may just be full of pictures of Golden Retrievers and Spaniels in provocative poses?

Unsure33 · 03/10/2021 19:42

Does you friend live on her own ?

I think I would be replying .

Your Email is totally inappropriate. If you ever contact me in this way again I will be reporting your email to the authorities .

userxx · 03/10/2021 19:46

@Unsure33

Does you friend live on her own ?

I think I would be replying .

Your Email is totally inappropriate. If you ever contact me in this way again I will be reporting your email to the authorities .

The Pet Authorities?

MilesOfSand · 03/10/2021 19:54

@Poptasmagorical

My first thoughts were that I was going to get annoyed at the upcoming kink-shaming, but then I saw that this guy had propositioned OP's friend without any hint of invitation and was clearly overstepping boundaries. This does reek of sexual harassment and intimidation. Like others have said, he'll be getting off on the fact that he's contacted her, that she's had to find out about his kink, and that he's made her feel uncomfortable in his own home.

I mean, maybe he thought she'd be in to it and now he knows she's not he'll just leave her alone. But also maybe he will escalate his behaviour.

Absolute bastard making her feel like this in the one place she should feel safe from men. As if we don't have to worry enough as it is. Fucking men.

This is honestly a genuinely question - but on the kink-shaming thing - how does that happen? I’m thinking that it’s a private thing between two consenting adults (or one alone) and therefore other than an actual partner, where is the opportunity to kink shame? Presumably an unsuspecting person shouldn’t need to be aware at all?

Mumguilt12 · 03/10/2021 19:55

Honestly. I would report this to police. I have reported neighbours for behaviour that made me feel uncomfortable.

One day I was at home alone with my new baby. A knock at door. It was a guy I didn’t recognise. An older man dressed in odd clothes. He said “what colour is your husbands car?” I said “I’m sorry, has something happened to the car, who are you?!”

Basically he was a neighbour from several roads away that had seen my husbands very basic red car and claimed he wanted to know the exact shade so he could buy one the same.

He didn’t even live down our road but had been watching enough to know where he lived. Also he came when he knew my husband was out (the red car was not on the road). He made a comment too about that “I didn’t want to scare you by coming over when you were alone at night”

Very odd. I called non emergency police. I was petrified of him. He Made me feel very uncomfortable. They called me back and he Is known as a bit of a local oddball but “harmless”. They were very supportive and the Local pcso was brilliant.

I also fitted better locks in my door and a chain on front door, because of that oddball.

It probably is harmless but I’m so fed up of these harmless “legal” behaviours making women feel uncomfortable.

OhDear2200 · 03/10/2021 19:59

Every time she leaves the house she’ll be thinking is he looking at me. Every time he’s on the drive way she’ll be thinking is he going to talk to me.

He’s got in her head in the only way that a creepy man can do.

And at some point she’ll berate herself for being ‘silly’ or ‘over sensitive’ or not accepting. She’ll gaslight herself because that’s what we are trained to do.

And what will he suffer? Nothing, he’ll be at home jerking off while woofing and cocking his leg.

Bastard.

This is what makes me mad. It’s the mind fuck that women experience, the mental energy that men just don’t understand when we receive unwanted propositions.

DadAManger · 03/10/2021 20:04

@OhDear2200

Every time she leaves the house she’ll be thinking is he looking at me. Every time he’s on the drive way she’ll be thinking is he going to talk to me.

He’s got in her head in the only way that a creepy man can do.

And at some point she’ll berate herself for being ‘silly’ or ‘over sensitive’ or not accepting. She’ll gaslight herself because that’s what we are trained to do.

And what will he suffer? Nothing, he’ll be at home jerking off while woofing and cocking his leg.

Bastard.

This is what makes me mad. It’s the mind fuck that women experience, the mental energy that men just don’t understand when we receive unwanted propositions.

“And what will he suffer? Nothing, he’ll be at home jerking off while woofing and cocking his leg.”

A bit too much information OhDear2200. How do we know he does that?

limitedperiodonly · 03/10/2021 20:18

It amazes me when people say: "I've no problems with people's kinks as long as they do them behind closed doors or keep themselves to themselves but..." Really? I have quite a few problems with people's kinks I can think of and also with those I'd rather not.

HalzTangz · 03/10/2021 20:26

@Mightysquirrel

My friend has lived in her house for about a decade and has a friendly relationship with the couple next door. They're not close but they wave and chat if their paths cross. She recently shared her phone number and email with the man of the couple. A few days ago she got a text from him asking if she'd seen his email. So she read his email, he asked for her help with something he called "My life as a pet". She replied saying she'd be happy to help but what did he mean? I'll tell you his reply if anyone's interested but first:

YABU - Were you born yesterday?
YANBU - Maybe he's writing a children's book? (My friend's in publishing)

I think he likes dressing as a rabbit or cat or something