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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are we hopelessly naive? (Neighbour issue)

231 replies

Mightysquirrel · 02/10/2021 13:27

My friend has lived in her house for about a decade and has a friendly relationship with the couple next door. They're not close but they wave and chat if their paths cross. She recently shared her phone number and email with the man of the couple. A few days ago she got a text from him asking if she'd seen his email. So she read his email, he asked for her help with something he called "My life as a pet". She replied saying she'd be happy to help but what did he mean? I'll tell you his reply if anyone's interested but first:

YABU - Were you born yesterday?
YANBU - Maybe he's writing a children's book? (My friend's in publishing)

OP posts:
JacquelineCarlyle · 02/10/2021 17:48

@burritofan

Men are so gross.
This!
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 02/10/2021 17:52

Does she live alone?

specialsauce · 02/10/2021 18:02

Could this be a prank? Have they got any teenage kids?

MurielSpriggs · 02/10/2021 18:10

Men are so gross.

This!

(And his wife!)

MilesOfSand · 02/10/2021 18:12

I’d be checking her cellar is fully secure from next door too, although presumably it is.

SheSaidHummingbird · 02/10/2021 18:22

Not a good few years for men. I was already feeling very vulnerable from the harrowning recent events... This has not helped.

SheSaidHummingbird · 02/10/2021 18:23

When I was growing up, my parents told me I could always trust the police and always trust neighbours. I would never now tell my own children the same. How sad.

DesertSky · 02/10/2021 18:24

Bloody weirdo.

MilesOfSand · 02/10/2021 18:35

There seems to be an increasing movement to normalise the sharing of fetishes and kinks - ie - not whatever consenting adults want to do behind closed doors but instead celebrating it on the street through Pride etc. Pride etc is obviously fine and a good thing but the fetish side of it - ‘look here I am wearing a leather dog suit with a chain around my neck etc’ and having children stroke them etc, it’s all about the erasure of women and children’s boundaries and the acceptability of kinks that involve other people’s unwitting involvement.

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 02/10/2021 18:39

Quite sure I’d be calling the police with regard to unsolicited sexual advances in the circs. Don’t be thinking about consequences for him; he wasn’t.

Borderterrierpuppy · 02/10/2021 18:48

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww
I would send it to his wife too.

Dumpedwife · 02/10/2021 18:49

No worries!!Hmm

Seemssounfair · 02/10/2021 19:12

Do you have a local community facebook page?

I would be tempted to share his dilemma to see if there was anyone local who could help him out. I heard big Dave 4 doors down was thinking about getting a dog, but was unsure of the commitment, this could be perfect for him.

treesandweeds · 02/10/2021 19:26

@TheOrigRights

Maybe ‘My life as a pet’ is code for this of thing, in the same way that inviting someone in for coffee, doesn’t mean just coffee

WHAT?
What does it mean if I invite someone in for a coffee?

Is tea OK?

I have the phone numbers of 5 of my immediate 7 neighbours.
We don't have cellars so I think I'm OK Grin

As you said "My life as a pet" is a thing I googled it. Bad move.... this came up

www.goodreads.com/book/show/27494809-my-life-as-a-pet

Original poster
Mightysquirrel · 02/10/2021 21:42

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a book like that exists.

Nobody either of us asked heard of this. If he'd said pup instead of pet, that I would have known about.
Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 02/10/2021 22:14

@treesandweeds

I wonder if the phrase inspired the book, or the book inspired that phrase to be used as the code-phrase.

MurielSpriggs · 02/10/2021 23:09

@Borderterrierpuppy

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww I would send it to his wife too.
They'd be delighted, you'd be feeding their "thing" Grin
Justilou1 · 03/10/2021 01:39

I’d be going over there with a rolled up newspaper and smacking him on the nose with it while yelling at him that nobody wants to receive unsolicited emails like this from pervy old men, and that if he felt that you needed to know about his kinky desire to be treated like someone’s pet, the everyone in the street can find out exactly what kind of pervert lives amongst them. I’d also suggest that if his wife is okay with his kink, she should think about getting him neutered and retrained immediately.

LaurenKelsey · 03/10/2021 02:11

Ugh. Typical male BS.

bellaweir · 03/10/2021 02:20

Men again, shock fucking horror

noodlezoodle · 03/10/2021 02:55

It's not judgy to say that dragging someone into your kink without their express consent is grim.

I'd absolutely be going round to see the pair of them with a print out of the messages and telling them to fuck right off. If his wife knows and is in on it, then your friend has set a clear boundary. If she doesn't know then your friend will have done her a favour.

YodaiamsaidI · 03/10/2021 03:02

I'd put the cage in my cellar,lock him in then go get his wife to come and remove her mutt and his cage,if she wanted him back that is.

QOD · 03/10/2021 03:42

@Justilou1

I’d be going over there with a rolled up newspaper and smacking him on the nose with it while yelling at him that nobody wants to receive unsolicited emails like this from pervy old men, and that if he felt that you needed to know about his kinky desire to be treated like someone’s pet, the everyone in the street can find out exactly what kind of pervert lives amongst them. I’d also suggest that if his wife is okay with his kink, she should think about getting him neutered and retrained immediately.
😂
KittenMama · 03/10/2021 04:25

Really, really inappropriate and concerning that he'd approach her like that without any kind of previous interest from her. I'm sure there are spaces for those kind of interests rather than asking a neighbour.

Personally, I'd put it in writing that it was an inappropriate proposition and it's made her feel uncomfortable. If anything else were to happen there would be evidence in black and white she were not interested and it could build a harassment case. That being said, she would need to be careful about what he might do if he reacts badly. Awful to think about either way.

Also, why the basement? Hmm

I'd be checking her cellar is fully secure from next door too, although presumably it is

This all over and don't assume. My Nan had a basement where for some reason there was a wall that was between her and the neighbour's basement didn't go fully up to the top. I don't think she realised for years as she'd never gone down there herself. However, you could see in next door's basement. If I haven't gone completely mad I'm sure I remember someone crawling through once when they got locked in there!

I'd be checking all windows and doors too.

MilesOfSand · 03/10/2021 05:02

@Justilou1

I’d be going over there with a rolled up newspaper and smacking him on the nose with it while yelling at him that nobody wants to receive unsolicited emails like this from pervy old men, and that if he felt that you needed to know about his kinky desire to be treated like someone’s pet, the everyone in the street can find out exactly what kind of pervert lives amongst them. I’d also suggest that if his wife is okay with his kink, she should think about getting him neutered and retrained immediately.
Unfortunately, he’d probably enjoy that.