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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked DH to buy my youknows?

366 replies

FrankieDobie · 02/10/2021 08:41

Is it unreasonable able to ask a man to buy youknows when they are going out to the shop anyway? It’s not an extra trip, to buy whilst already there?

OP posts:
westcountryboy · 02/10/2021 09:48

@KaptainKaveman

You showed him a picture? Grin how hilarious!

Dh gets them sometimes for the dds. Why are you embarrassed about it OP? do you pass your innate sense of shame onto your dc as well? Hmm

I do this with lots of things. If I want something specific it's only fair he knows exactly what to get and he worries he'll get the wrong thing. Usually it's a picture of cake tbf.
takingmytimeonmyride · 02/10/2021 09:49

My ex bought them for me, my partner buys them for me, my teenage sons buy then for me.
They know which ones to get me, none of them have ever been embarrassed about getting them because I've always acted like it's a totally normal thing for a man to buy, which it should be.

Unhomme · 02/10/2021 09:49

Getting back to the point, of course it's not unreasonable to ask or expect him to buy any sanitary products.

Has he refused to do so? I want to know the back story so the MN crew can tell you to leave him.

frazzledasarock · 02/10/2021 09:49

It’s not unreasonable to ask a man to pick up sanpro during a shop.

My DD’s and I put it on the shopping list and DH comes back with a variety (everyone has different preference), he knows not to get scented ones though.
Once he came home with Tena ladies as everything else was out and eldest DD now insists on them as her preferred choice Confused

tintodeverano2 · 02/10/2021 09:49

Well YABU to expect everyone else to know what a made up word means!

We are all grown-ups here (or so I thought...) and so are capable of calling things by their correct name.

If you have shame or embarrassment about periods and sanitary products, how the hell do you have a conversation with your DH about sex?

SquareWindow · 02/10/2021 09:49

[quote Doomscrolling]**@FrankieDobie the reason you are getting called out on your cutesy euphemism for tampons is that it comes from a place of misogyny and revulsion. That menstruation and anything to do with it is not to be referred to, it’s that messy secret women should keep quiet about.

Words matter in society. Women not being able to name and describe their experiences is an issue even now. Period shaming is still an issue for many young women.

So when there are cutesy words for the things we need, why wouldn’t we say something?

Then again, I’m on my special lady time with Aunt Flo visiting and I’m down to my last you know, so as it’s that time of the month I might be a bit tetchy.[/quote]
This is a really good explanation @FrankieDobie

Just like husbands not knowing what’s wrong with their wife or what surgery they are having as it is “women’s troubles”.

NowEvenBetter · 02/10/2021 09:49

No one is ‘angry’ OP. Surely you can decipher that? Thinking something is ridiculous is not ‘anger’. HTH

Bounce55 · 02/10/2021 09:50

@FrankieDobie

Is it unreasonable able to ask a man to buy youknows when they are going out to the shop anyway? It’s not an extra trip, to buy whilst already there?
Wtf?

Lmao

MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/10/2021 09:50

silly question, you deserve a silly answer op

Frogsandsheep · 02/10/2021 09:55

What is the point of this thread? Did your dh refuse or did you just want to ask us all for fun?
My dh would happily buy me tampons and my teenage son had to buy me some once. A complete non issue.

blissfulllife · 02/10/2021 09:56

@EnidFrighten

Get some period pants, then you won't be buying anything regularly. Of course you'll need to build an underground cellar to dry them where no one can see
Spat my coffee at this hahahaaaaa
Blackkoala · 02/10/2021 09:56

It shouldn’t even cross your mind that this could be unreasonable. It is absolutely no different to him picking up loo roll, milk or bin bags.

TractorAndHeadphones · 02/10/2021 09:57

How do you not know what they’re called. Never mind what your mother called them, it’s written on the front of the packet!
Jesus wept

diddl · 02/10/2021 09:57

@FrankieDobie

Sorry I was brought up calling them that, I meant tampons
But as an adult you don't have to carry on!
TertiusLydgate · 02/10/2021 09:58

Arf at ‘you knows’ Grin

It’s like it’s the dark ages.

My husband and sons aged 22 and 19 will often buy tampons for me. I do t think it has even occurred to them to bat an eyelid.

FlyingWhistle · 02/10/2021 09:59

Husband is happy to buy tampax but he said he gets embarrassed buying condoms in case someone he knows sees him... we have two children, I think people
Probably already know we have sex 🤣

borntobequiet · 02/10/2021 09:59

I thought you meant some kind of doughnut. Like a yum yum.

diddl · 02/10/2021 10:00

So why the question Op?

Did he refuse, has someone said that you shouldn't have asked him?

Proudboomer · 02/10/2021 10:00

My 23 year old son was asked by his partner to run to the local shop to pick her up some sanitary towels as she has started her period and forgot to stock up.
He came home with a Tesco bag with 10 packs in as he didn’t know how many she would need.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 02/10/2021 10:00

Wtf are youknows? Assuming you mean sanpro. Just say it. Not hard. You contribute to periods still being seen as 'dirty'

And yes, DH would buy if needed and has. He'd need guidance tho. I use washables tho so I'd have to be desperate.

stupiduser · 02/10/2021 10:01

I have 3 teenage daughters and my DP does the shopping so over the years he has bought more tampons/pads than I ever have!

borntobequiet · 02/10/2021 10:01

Once he came home with Tena ladies as everything else was out and eldest DD now insists on them as her preferred choice

They are preferable to some brands of sanitary towels IMO.

CallMeNutribullet · 02/10/2021 10:02

It sounds like there's a lot of embarrassment around periods in your household. From you and DH

StoatMilk · 02/10/2021 10:03

Grow up OP Hmm