Were you happier before or after

[Neverseenfirefliesinmylife]

Kids?

And if you have more than one, happier with just one or happier with more?

Please be honest

I'm more tired, and more grumpy, and more frazzled after kids, and sometimes I do yearn to be completely selfish just for a while.

But I was really low before I had my kids. Everything on paper was perfect, but I was absolutely not happy, far from it.

So actually I'm definitely happier now I have my kids. Even if I have to remind myself of that sometimes!

Happier after my first child than before. Same with the second. I really love having two children. But it depends what you mean by happiness. Fulfillment or pleasure? There's a lot of the first, not much of the latter.

Preferred my lifestyle before but love the little nutter. Wouldn’t be without her. But definitely, definitely stopping at one.

After.
My twin girls are in their twenties now and I can't imagine a life without them.

After for sure. Although I have 3 and would say I was happiest at 2. I think this will change when my toddler is a bit older and perhaps a little easier but I feel like my plate is overflowing right now if I’m honest.

After !

But I’m also more tired , stressed, over worked and anxious 😩

After. Never known love like it!

After. I'm 34 now with two children 8 and 2. I've never felt so content or happy in life before.

Dc2 was a surprise and we were unsure about having more than one, but honestly he has made our lives 100% better!

Definitely happier after my two girls. Life is exhausting and crazy and infuriating at times but it's also filled with so much fun and happiness in equal measures. I love taking trips with my girls and enjoying new experiences with them. My life is 100 percent more full for having them

Definitely after. I can't believe that they're mine.

Before

About as happy (around an 8/10) before and after. But I'm a divorced mum who always had a happy relationship (or so I thought!) pre kids and now I've got practical worries like money matters and childcare that take their toll, even though I adore my wonderful children.

Before. I was also happier before the age of 40 too. Not been so good after.

After. My career turned to shit, am so glad we had kids. In 6 years they'll both be gone, and then we can do all the travelling we want. I've found having a dog more onerous and life restricting than having kids!

I think I’m doing it wrong... I don’t enjoy doing anything with my children. I love them...but I don’t enjoy them. I don’t look forward to things with them. I mainly find it very boring. My happiest times are when I’m not with them.

@Paperbackmermaid

I think I’m doing it wrong... I don’t enjoy doing anything with my children. I love them...but I don’t enjoy them. I don’t look forward to things with them. I mainly find it very boring. My happiest times are when I’m not with them.

How old are they? You have to look for things to enjoy amongst the tedium sometimes, especially with very young dc. Or it can be an effect of postnatal depression.

I had mine quite young, 22. Pre 22 is such a different stage of life, university etc, I don't think it's really comparable to post 22, so it's impossible to say when I was happier.

I remember when I had my son I was obsessed with life before vs life after, grieving my old life. But it wasn't for long, now I'm older with older children I don't see it as "life before". This is my life, and I'm very lucky that I have been mostly happy for most of it, but the first year after each baby wasn't that time! So I'm assuming that this is how it is for many women whatever age they have a baby, that it's natural to compare life stages at this point of your life but that's natural during such a turbulent time. If you're struggling, please know it passes, life gets easier.

After and I’m pregnant with 2nd feeling like absolute shite.