Were you happier before or after

[Neverseenfirefliesinmylife]

Kids?

And if you have more than one, happier with just one or happier with more?

Please be honest

After. I think there is definetly different levels of stress and worry to contend with but I feel more content with life and myself. Having a family of my own has helped me work through my own childhood traumas and build a better future for us all.

After.

Was happy before but I just couldn't imagine life without them.

The feeling you get when you kiss them/hug them/celebrate an achievement/look at them sleeping (even as teenagers) is unmatched.

After. I just have one, though. We are contemplating a second. But DD is the absolute light of my life and has brought me so much joy. Every day she makes me laugh and smile and I'm so glad we had her. There is a layer of stress and worry, but the good stuff outweighs it by far for me.

I was still happy before though, and if we had chosen not to have children, I'd never have known otherwise I suppose.

Before

There's a lot of life before and after kids. My youngest is 9 and I'd say happiness levels are pretty even again but there was a dip in happiness in the pregnancy/breastfeeding/lack of sleep/maternity leave/expensive childcare years.

Definitely after. Have one and am expecting another.

Before without a doubt. Have more then one and happy with that though because the second one is better.

Much much much happier after.
After number one I was on cloud nine for a year. Made another one. Still happy happy... made another. Now I am super happy and very tired.

After, definitely. Also more skint and stressed though!

After

I found it hard when they were babies but they were a joy as older children
I have 2. Now both adults

Oh, and having lots of kids (we have 3DC) is better than just having one, my DC are such a gang and suffered far less in lockdown than their friends who are only children.

Definitely before.

Miles happier before I had babies. My DD1 was planned and very much wanted but I struggled massively with the transition. We then had a contraception failure when she was less than six months old and so DD2 came along having two 15 months apart was hell on earth for the first year or two BUT DD2 made me a "happier" parent in many ways. She was a delightful baby, incredibly affectionate and just the sweetest little thing. I obviously loved her sister just as much but DD1's disposition as a baby had made it very difficult to find joy in her - she was very high needs, didn't care for being kissed and cuddled, severe reflux made her miserable which me made me miserable. So all in all I was happier after two DC especially when they started interacting with each other. My absolute favourite moments of parenting was when they were playing nicely together or had a rare moment of kindness towards each other. It made my heart soar and I never had that heart soaring feeling with one child.

As they get older and have started school/preschool I'm feeling my happiness return and I'm enjoying them so much more and finally coming into my own as a mother I think. I always had an inkling I'd be better with older children so relieved to see that coming true!

Also I think circumstances have a LOT to do with it, namely how much support you have. I had very little and my husband was a massive disappointment and never pulled his weight. I think I could have enjoyed it so much more if I'd felt part of a team, as opposed to being the only one saddled with all the burden.

As for happier with more, no I wish I had only had one.

I don't think I can measure happiness by before and after having my DC. I have had both happy and sad times for both. What I can say is that my life is better and much more enjoyable as a parent than it ever was pre children.

Before. I have 2 and I love them but they are so draining. I would do anything for them and wouldn't be without them now, but I miss the freedom of being spontaneous.
Also I work now and it's the constant worry of who is going to look after them in the holidays and trying to juggle annual leave etc.
My oldest is autistic and I worry so much that I am doing a shit job as a mum.

Much better before. I had one, hated the experience and vowed never to repeat it. I had both tubes tied to make sure I wouldn’t have more. Shudder.

Before kids was more crazy highs and plummeting lows.

With my child (I have one and am sticking with one) it’s more stability and contentment.

After.
Always felt happy but like something was missing, or I was waiting for something but didn't know what. Had one and it all finally made sense.
Had second and now I feel complete. Cheesy but true.

After definitely. Currently TTC for DC number 3.

It's a different type of happiness. .
When we go out without the children we think about days pre kids and how easy life felt.... and how much more money we had

But then my kids give me a hug, tell me they love me, do silly dances and songs and they bring a different sort or happiness and lightness to my life (and wallet) but their faces when they get a magazine or treat from the shop is enough for me to go without.

Then they have a tantrum and scream at me and I remember those days of sitting in complete silence reading a book with no pictures

Oh after definitely. I just love them to bits. They make me smile so much.

Two even more than one. Would have liked a third but not going to happen for health reasons.

Happier with my 4 wonderful DC!

Great thread OP. As someone who genuinely has no idea whether to have kids or not this is super interesting. I love the life we have right now so much and having kids is such an unknown that it terrifies me that it might not be the right choice for us

This thread is making me want to sneak in their rooms and kiss them