To say there are some decent men

[Poppyscone]

I know there are many threads about how shit men are. It may be a shit partner not helping, abused by a stranger, sexism etc etc etc.

But to say some men are decent. My DH said this morning re the policemen just sentenced “we men are mostly basically shit aren’t we”
I told him he was one of the good ones and the good ones need to carry on trying to challenging these men who basically hate women
My DH had challenged many men over their behaviour towards women including dropping friendships.

I have epilepsy and DH had always had my back and supported me. Done more then his fare share with kids including most night feeds as well as working full time which I can do. Letting me sleep and recover after a seizure and taking charge without complaining.

He always make me feel good about myself, never pesters for sex and is a good dad.

Yep sure he had his faults he is a bit disorganised and he seems to think dirty clothes belong on the bedroom floor (but does pick them up when asked)
He snores like a machine gun and I have to wear earplug but on the whole he is a decent bloke and I am sure there are many more out there. I would just like to here about them

Jesus its all so depressing

Christ it’s all so fucking exhausting, women not being allowed to be angry without some bloke coming along & telling us how very grateful we should be that NAMALT.
I’m so tired of this shit.

@ColorMagicBarbie

Sorry, but for it to be a personally harrowing week I’d have to lose a close relative or something similar. If you’re ‘harrowed’, meaning presumably you were too beside yourself to go to work etc, because that’s what it means, then you’re obviously oblivious to what happens around the world every single day.

You’re really just a rabble rouser,making deliberately provocative comments to elicit a response. It’s obvious. It’s basic. It adds nothing Interesting that you crave attention and seek in it in a base way

What is the breakdown by sex? After all its male violence that we're taking about here @ColourMeRacist.

^You’re really just a rabble rouser,making deliberately provocative comments to elicit a response. It’s obvious. It’s basic. It adds nothing
Interesting that you crave attention and seek in it in a base way^

No, I’m just not a misery vampire. There are very few positive threads about men on here, and as soon as one pops up it gets filled with posters desperate to make it all about their own feelings and their negativity about men.

@ColorMagicBarbie

Sorry, but for it to be a personally harrowing week I’d have to lose a close relative or something similar. If you’re ‘harrowed’, meaning presumably you were too beside yourself to go to work etc, because that’s what it means, then you’re obviously oblivious to what happens around the world every single day.

Stop being ridiculous. You don't just get to define a word in a different way to its actual definition then tell people it isn't applicable to them unless they fit your personal (incorrect) interpretation of it.

Here's the definition. The news this week has been harrowing for many people.

You aren't getting what you want out of this thread and you've resorted to just redefining words other people use. You're making yourself look very silly and doing nothing productive.

Maybe spend some time working on some support for the men who need it as you seem passionate about it. Doing that would be a productive way of focusing your energy. Women fighting for women's rights and safety don't stop you doing the same for men.

You sound like the kind of person who is only interested in men being victims of something as a counter argument to women raising their voices. If you're truly passionate about the stats and issues you've shared re men's issues, pour your effort into those causes.

Don’t feed it everyone!

@SeaAndTea

Don’t feed it everyone!

I know you're right. Especially with the recent make your own army comment. MRA 101. Idiotic.

I’m more ‘harrowed’ by what goes on in other countries tbh. I’m not so blinkered that I’m only perturbed when somebody of my own demographic gets murdered. Most people here are very selective with their grief. Self serving would be another way to put it.

Whole school of teenage girls killed by ISIL - nothing

White middle class woman murdered - intense harrowment

Both are terrible but it’s interesting how people focus on the one that allows them to condemn the men around them. The innocent men around them I should say.

@ColorMagicBarbie

Whole school of teenage girls killed by ISIL - nothing

White middle class woman murdered - intense harrowment

Both are terrible but it’s interesting how people focus on the one that allows them to condemn the men around them. The innocent men around them I should say.

Why the fuck would you think the same people wouldn't find both of those things harrowing?! You realise people can be upset / angry / frustrated / passionate about more than one thing at once?

Fuck me, the idiocy of thinking finding one thing harrowing means nothing else is.

Grow up.

@youvegottenminuteslynn,

Your posting style is incredibly bullying. You probably don’t realise it, but it is.

People are entitled to agree with the OP and disagree with you. @ColorMagicBarbie had expressed her views politely, without personal attacks.

I find it depressing that people have the gall to shout people down for agreeing with the OP.

I prefer to ‘read the vote’ than ‘read the posts’ as it actually shows 194 people, or close to half, agree with the OP.

Why aren’t they posting, do you think??

@ColorMagicBarbie

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

I don't hate or dislike men. I know some wonderful men. That doesn't mean I can't acknowledge that there is an issue..... a huge issue with male violence against women and that there is a culture of misogyny in some organisations or sections of society.

Its true that the male species is run down on mumsnett constantly.

PPs were right, we shouldn't feed them.

I hope they enjoy each other, I'm out.

SkinnyMirror yes its true that there appears to be a problem with mens attitude to women in general but if we think too much about it it will wear us down.

@Tevion28

Its true that the male species is run down on mumsnett constantly.

Well look at you rocking up to tell us women our faults and boohoo the poor men It’s an Obvious,and try too hard to be provocative comment

It's men's behaviour and systemic misogyny that is wearing women down. Not thinking about doesn't address the problem.

TooBigForMyBoots
So how to address the problem

@Tevion28

SkinnyMirror yes its true that there appears to be a problem with mens attitude to women in general but if we think too much about it it will wear us down.

So what's the solution? Just ignore it? How many more women need to be killed before we take it seriously?

Violent men are a huge problem for society. What I don't understand is why most men aren't standing up with women to say that enough is enough given the number of men killed by violent men each week.

I mean why are we accepting the status quo here? Why is everyone not apoplectic with rage that the advice on dealing with sexual predators and murderers in the police is to resist arrest and rely on bus drivers?

The government need to be funding interventions to reduce male violence across society. The root causes will be different in different parts of society to multiple approaches are needed.

I don't know the answers I'm afraid but I don't want to spend my life thinking all men are potential murderers and rapists etc how miserable is that.

@Tevion28

TooBigForMyBoots So how to address the problem

Men. Men need to address the problem. They need to stop engaging in or condoning any misogynistic behaviour. It needs to become something the whole of society has a problem with, not just women.

I'm pretty sure there are alot of men that wouldn't indulge in this behaviour so how to get thier voices out there.