To say there are some decent men

[Poppyscone]

I know there are many threads about how shit men are. It may be a shit partner not helping, abused by a stranger, sexism etc etc etc.

But to say some men are decent. My DH said this morning re the policemen just sentenced “we men are mostly basically shit aren’t we”
I told him he was one of the good ones and the good ones need to carry on trying to challenging these men who basically hate women
My DH had challenged many men over their behaviour towards women including dropping friendships.

I have epilepsy and DH had always had my back and supported me. Done more then his fare share with kids including most night feeds as well as working full time which I can do. Letting me sleep and recover after a seizure and taking charge without complaining.

He always make me feel good about myself, never pesters for sex and is a good dad.

Yep sure he had his faults he is a bit disorganised and he seems to think dirty clothes belong on the bedroom floor (but does pick them up when asked)
He snores like a machine gun and I have to wear earplug but on the whole he is a decent bloke and I am sure there are many more out there. I would just like to here about them

Here we go. I managed to dig out the stats posted in last thread on DV. Interested to know what the posters laying into me think about these? They paint a rather different picture from the stereotype.

The earliest empirical evidence of gender symmetry was presented in the 1975 U.S. National Family Violence Survey carried out by Murray A. Straus and Richard J. Gelleson a nationally representative sample of 2,146 "intact families". The survey found 11.6% of women and 12% of men had experienced some kind of IPV in the last twelve months, also 4.6% of men and 3.8% of women had experienced "severe" IPV.

The 2010–2011 report found that whilst 27% of women who experienced IPV reported it to the police, only 10% of men did so, and whilst 44% of women reported to some professional organization, only 19% of men did so.[29]In a 2005 report carried out by the National Crime Council in the Republic of Ireland, it was estimated that 5% of men who had experienced IPV had reported it to the authorities, compared to 29% of women.

In 2012, two Swedish studies were released that showed men experienced IPV at rates similar to women—8% per year in one study and 11% per year in the other.

A growing body of international research indicated that men and women experience IPV in some similar proportions. An example might be a recent survey from Canada's national statistical agency that concluded that "equal proportions of men and women reported being victims of spousal violence during the preceding 5 years."

In 2013, the American Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC) found that from a sample of 16,000 U.S. adults, 26% of homosexual men, 37.3% of bisexual men, and 29% of heterosexual men had been a victim of IPV, compared to 43.8% of lesbians, 61.1% of bisexual women and 35% of heterosexual women.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men

Women ‘more likely to hit their partners

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/women-more-likely-to-hit-their-partners-wx29qb0nwwg

Women are more violent, says study

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-are-more-violent-says-study-622388.html%3famp

The comparison to dogs is interesting. If dogs killed children at the rate men kill women, we'd ban pet ownership.

Let’s not forget how many children are killed by men or subjected to extreme violence abs sexual abuse

So no comment on the numerous studies showing that women are also pretty violent?

I've defo got more of a temper than my partner.

ColorMagicBarbie

The thing with stats is looking at the question breaking it down and comparing to other stats not just reading a summary

Facts are more reliable. Nearly 80 women have been murdered since Sarah Everard was murdered and going by the general pattern 80 women will be murdered before the end of the year is out

@ColorMagicBarbie boom! More whitabootery

@ColorMagicBarbie

So no comment on the numerous studies showing that women are also pretty violent?

@ColorMagicBarbie

Still waiting for you to not see how ridiculous it is to ignore the fact 93% of killers in England and Wales are men. You seem to think that debating means glossing over the statistics that show overwhelmingly something is true (almost all murderers are men, for example) and instead playing mental gymnastics to justify the nonsense stance you've taken.

I'm sure the men who hurt and kill others are pleased to have you doing so. If you want to behave in a way that helps them instead of victims of male crimes, go for it. You just look pretty silly for doing so.

I hope you don't have daughters you're raising to prioritise male feelings over female safety.

Bye 👋🏻

Comment, yes you’re engaging in whitabootery to distract & deflect from women legitimately discussing male violence
It’s a tired trope. You introduce whitabootery and refuse to discuss anything other than your agenda

@ColorMagicBarbie

I've defo got more of a temper than my partner.

Well colour me shocked!

No one is saying women can’t be violent.

What is having more of a temper go to do with violence?

male violence towards women is more often than not very controlled inflicted behind closed doors often injuries hidden so others can’t see

Are you violent ?

@ColorMagicBarbie

I've defo got more of a temper than my partner.

Can I see some statistics to support that. Maybe go on wiki, that well known hub of academia

@OhWhyNot,

Well, precisely.

Compare the 80 you are talking about to the total number. Around 700 people are murdered each year in the UK, nearly 3/4 of them male.

It always seems to be pretty, young, white middle class females which cause the outrage, though. Every single week there are around 14 homicides, most not even remarked upon or cared about.

When it happens to ‘people like us’, something has to be done about it, just nothing that costs ‘us’ anything. Random ‘men’ have to ‘do something’ about ‘male violence’ (although 1 in 14 murderers are female).

Random ‘men’ have to ‘do something’ about ‘male violence’ (although 1 in 14 murderers are female).

13/14 murders are male according to your stat there. 92.8%. This is overwhelmingly a male problem.

If 1 in 14 murderers are female that means 13 in 14 murderers are male?

Infuriating thread. We KNOW that not all men are like this, but quite a lot must be or women wouldn't be constantly being killed by their partners, murdered by strangers, harassed by men at work and in the street. A problem can't be solved if we can't name it- and the problem is that too many men are violent and overtly misogynistic and too many of the ones that aren't are too chicken to stand up for what's right.

I'm really angry. I've just walked down the street to buy a bar of chocolate from the shops and been harassed by a man practically outside my house, making lewd comments and stupid animal noises at me while his two friends stand there looking awkward and do fuck all as I scamper off feeling humiliated. It's exhausting. Bet their wives think they're nice men too.

Around 700 people are murdered each year in the UK, nearly 3/4 of them male.

And 93% of those victims are murdered BY MEN.

A disproportionate rate of male violence considering the population has a relatively even split between men and women, no?

Making it... wait for it... an issue with male behaviour at a societal level.

You're quoting stats that support the opposite of your argument!

You've just said 1/14 killers are female as if that means women are a huge part of the issue when it comes to offending - but all you've done is reinforce the fact that 13/14 of killers are MEN.

I cannot fathom the desperation to protect men's feelings over women's safety. It's baffling.

Mainly male victims and male perpetrators. What I'm saying is why does the conversation have to be 99% about women? It's like shoehorning white people into black gang violence.

@OhWhyNot

ColorMagicBarbie

The thing with stats is looking at the question breaking it down and comparing to other stats not just reading a summary

Facts are more reliable. Nearly 80 women have been murdered since Sarah Everard was murdered and going by the general pattern 80 women will be murdered before the end of the year is out

This. When women are murdering the same number of men each year as this, maybe we can say women are just as violent as men. But they aren't. Not even fucking close. There is no reliable evidence that women are perpetrating violence on that scale at all.

@ColorMagicBarbie

Mainly male victims and male perpetrators. What I'm saying is why does the conversation have to be 99% about women? It's like shoehorning white people into black gang violence.

The person shoehorning race into as many posts as possible is you. It's really, really odd.

What have you proactively done to help reduce the number of men killed each year? You seem angry women are focused on trying to lessen violence against women by fighting for that cause, which has shown itself in marches, protests, gatherings, petitions, awareness drivers, social media campaigns...

There's nothing stopping you proactively tackling the issue of violence against men by other men. It's very telling that you think women focusing on violence against women is taking something away from anyone else.

If someone was campaign about an overwhelmingly female cancer, would you chastise them for not also mentioning prostate cancer? Maybe you would actually, I wouldn't be surprised at this point.

Yes why in the week a man got whole life tariff are we discussing women @ColorMagicBarbie

And again you’re trying to be provocative to divert & distract

@ColorMagicBarbie

Mainly male victims and male perpetrators. What I'm saying is why does the conversation have to be 99% about women? It's like shoehorning white people into black gang violence.

Why would we discussing women on this week of all weeks? Are you really that clueless or is your agenda showing?

Of course it's not all men but it's almost always men.

Shoehorning white people into black gang violence

You do realise that gang violence is an issue for many regardless of skin colour

Look to incel forums you will find like minded people who will agree with you

Glad to see you all focused on your fractions in year 8 (of course, ignoring the thrust of my previous post).

The reality is that most murder is committed by young males in the lowest socio-economic bracket.

But you don’t say ‘oiks need to deal with oik crime’, you only focus on the male bit, as you recognise the challenges these people have faced growing up and that they are a product of their upbringing.

If you want to really solve the problem of male crime (as opposed to virtue signalling to the MN wealthy middle class woke demographic), you need to look at the causes, which are not purely male .

I link to an interesting Guardian article below.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/dec/08/income-inequality-murder-homicide-rates

Male (and female) violence is society’s problem, and needs more than ‘calling out’ misogynistic comments as a solution.