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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you what made you stop being friends with someone?

162 replies

BobbiPinsOn · 29/09/2021 16:09

she had a hidden camera recording in a bedroom she offered me to sleep in at her house on a visit, I made comments about her on a phone call while in the bedroom. she wrote a WhatsApp status about it and I blocked her. That's how it ended for us

You?

OP posts:
Talktalkchat · 29/09/2021 22:07

@longwayoff

2 people. One, famous for her many abortions, told her 9 year old son, when he asked why she hadn't aborted him, that she did try but by the time she realised she was still pregnant it was too late to try again. The other, a woman without children or experience of living with them was allowed to foster a difficult to manage 13 year old. She told me she was finding it hard going and she didn't know how to deal with him unless she gave up working to spend more time with him. So she'd be 'returning' him to the care system. I found both of these shocking and far too revealing of unexpected character that I cut ties with both of them. Awful.
Pls start an AiBU for the second.
AStar98 · 29/09/2021 22:23

Self absorbed friend from school, remained friends years later... Lord knows why!
Like some others, I noticed that she would stop making an effort with me when I wasn't the sad single friend. Rarely made an effort to visit me, it was almost always on her terms.
She had DC young and I don't have any, I had settled down with someone who had DC and she decided at 9 and 7, was the perfect time to have her DC christened and asked me to be Godmother!

Absolute final straw, was shortly after my young DB tragically died. She sent a 'humorous' WhatsApp pic which skirted around the circumstances in which my DB died. Not funny. Not thoughtful. Not friend.

MzHz · 29/09/2021 22:36

Also mine: same mine Blush

Stood me up on my hen night, it was already a small affair and she totally bailed
And she had the balls to lie about me to her other friends too

Everyone i knew hated her but loved me too much to tell me…

MangoSeason · 29/09/2021 22:37

She was driving me down a quiet rural road. A large python was crossing ahead and she lined it up and deliberately ran it over. Still get upset thinking about it over 20 years later.

Lifeisaminestrone · 29/09/2021 22:38

I discovered with Covid I only had one real friend.

Everyone else were false.

We kept in touch - even though we weren’t best friends pre-Covid, we are now.

So many of my friends ‘ghosted’ me during this time - I appreciate was difficult times but was so hurt no one replied, asked me how I was.

But a really good friend is worth a hundred times more than all my other so called friends.

Horseyhorsey3 · 29/09/2021 22:43

Some terrible stories on here 😱
Friend was very self-absorbed and self-centred, feel guilty saying that as she had been a good friend on numerous occasions but just the sniff of a man would send her crazy... She would regularly drop the group to hook up with her latest OLD, we were basically there to make her look busy and popular.

Final straw was when I turned down gig tickets for my favourite band and booked a babysitter to go out for food for her birthday. On the day when I phoned to confirm meet up time it transpired she'd forgotten I was coming and that she'd only booked for her and her shag at the time. Saw her arse when I calmly pointed out about the gig tickets and babysitter, she couldn't possibly move the booking or eat elsewhere (not that I wanted to be third wheel anyway).
Blocked her and not spoken since. She's not with that guy anymore either by all accounts.

XenoBitch · 29/09/2021 22:46

@Lifeisaminestrone

I discovered with Covid I only had one real friend.

Everyone else were false.

We kept in touch - even though we weren’t best friends pre-Covid, we are now.

So many of my friends ‘ghosted’ me during this time - I appreciate was difficult times but was so hurt no one replied, asked me how I was.

But a really good friend is worth a hundred times more than all my other so called friends.

I think this is really common. I had a friend I met weekly for coffee pre-Covid. Now, we don't even text each other.
ImInStealthMode · 29/09/2021 22:48

She walked down the aisle as my maid of honour knowing that my (now-ex) husband had screwed a mutual friend behind my back.

Turned out his best man also knew but he at least had the decency to make an excuse to drop out & didn't attend the wedding.

Had I known, I wouldn't have married him and suffered 2 further years of escalating emotional abuse.

Tried for a while to move past it and then realised she'd never really brought all that much to my life in the first place, so shut the door and moved on.

Coffeeonmytoffee · 29/09/2021 22:53

She told a mutual work colleague I slept around with anyone (I didn't) and he sexually assaulted me.

AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters · 29/09/2021 23:27

Asked me to be a bridesmaid then changed her mind. She dressed it up as being for my benefit but she told a colleague that she thought I should have lost more weight. I went to her wedding as a guest and hoped we could still be friends. But I was too hurt and never spoke to her again afterwards. She told all our mutual friends that I was the one who changed my mind and that she was devastated.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 29/09/2021 23:36

She told my harrassers details of my mental health problems that only she knew, denied it and then tried it on with my ex (my children's father)

AdoptedBumpkin · 29/09/2021 23:55

@Adaeasypeeler

I offered to take a parcel in for her. It didn't arrive. She accused me of stealing it. Next day it arrived so I sent it back with driver saying I had never heard of the recipient.
Good for you Grin
avamiah · 29/09/2021 23:58

She never put her hand in her purse and paid when it was her turn to.
It just got very annoying and expensive so I decided I don’t need friends like that.

sweetkitty · 29/09/2021 23:59

One constantly went on about money, how much her husband earned, what the next thing she was buying, how much debt she had, even knew how much of her mortgage she had left. She was obsessed with telling me about buying things. It was so boring, at that time my DH earned twice as much as hers I never told her this as I find talking about salaries cringy. She would be dying to know. She had no other personality really.

Second one, when covid first struck I was in a bad place we had been given all these rules at work, no PPE, told to wash hands constantly, disinfect toys etc. I was really stressed as I work with SEN children and they constantly put their hands and everything else in their mouths. This person told me if I felt like this about them I shouldn’t be doing my job I was totally unprofessional and she was disgusted with me. I was already upset and her comments pushed me over the edge.

avamiah · 30/09/2021 00:00

@AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters

Asked me to be a bridesmaid then changed her mind. She dressed it up as being for my benefit but she told a colleague that she thought I should have lost more weight. I went to her wedding as a guest and hoped we could still be friends. But I was too hurt and never spoke to her again afterwards. She told all our mutual friends that I was the one who changed my mind and that she was devastated.
That’s horrible. You don’t need somebody like that around you.
Pbbananabagel · 30/09/2021 00:28

@Superfoodie123

Superfoodie123

“Completely self obsessed, I suspect deep insecurity. The ratio of conversation would be 85% her voice. Would tell me hours of details about men who wanted to sleep with her, at times when i really needed a friend and this stuff was pointless. Came to visit when I had a newborn and PND and barely spoke about me or the baby, all about her. So completely selfish and it got frustrating I always wanted to be away from her. She was an emotional drain.“

this is outing but, you don’t happen to live in Manchester and her name doesn’t happen to begin with an F does it?
I kept holding on for her to turn it around but then she turned up to my mums funeral with her mum (they had been friends) and just talked about the lovely day out she had just had with her mum exploring around their hotel. I had a two month old baby and my last parent had just died, I’ve known her my whole life and I wish things were different but I have absolutely no time for that kind of shit anymore.

eeek88 · 30/09/2021 00:30

She endangered my horse’s life. I’d asked her to hold him for a few minutes while i sorted out his stable and she put the rope on the ground and went home, leaving the gate onto the road wide open and him loose surrounded by hazards. She was knowledgeable about horses so it wasn’t ignorance. He’d just pulled her 12 miles in a cart so she owed him the courtesy of caring whether he lives or dies, even if it was too much to ask her to help me for 5 minutes (or just say no sorry I can’t). Thankfully he was fine but I totally lost it. At this point her mother appeared to try and smooth things over by pointing out that I shouldn’t have trusted her in the first place. Noted. I have never trusted her since and she is not allowed anywhere near my animals.

I’m 99% sure she has subsequently had sex in my house though. Long story. Mutual friend fancied her, came to stay, I went to work while he met up with her for a ‘walk’ in foul stormy, windy, rainy winter weather, come h(me from work to find numerous pieces of evidence all pointing to them having ignored my specific request that she is not to darken my door for as long as she lives.

She is one of the worst people I’ve ever met.

whatisthisinhere · 30/09/2021 00:37

It was the constant lying and twisting everything around so it could be about her. So if something awful happened to someone, I.e. they wer the victim of racism, she would emphasis how someone had spoken to her rudely too. She spread rumours about me, and also about a man that I had started seeing. She then asked me to show my loyalty to her by supporting her in another lie, I refused. After that she told everyone we knew that I had dropped her as a friend over a man

Couchbettato · 30/09/2021 02:00

Everything was a pissing contest, even down to the things that were out of control. Like being pregnant together, and her being the one who wasn't sick every goddamn day.

No woman with HG needs some smug twat telling them how they can be pregnant and plan their day without needing to be near a toilet or bucket and carry 30 spare pairs of knickers in case you hurl so hard you wet yourself too.

SarahBellam · 30/09/2021 05:03

She was renting a room with my DP and I though I'd known her a lot longer. She was often rude about him then one night when we were out she tried to kiss me. It became really awkward after that and a lot of things started to make sense - her always wanting to come out with us and things like that. She went off the rails a bit - heavy drinking, engaging in lots of risky sex with strangers. I wasn't so bothered about that - she was a grown up after all - but she was bringing these strangers back to our house - it wasn't a shared rented house. It was our home and I began to not feel safe in it. After we got married she moved abroad and I didn't keep in contact with her.

PurpleSapphire · 30/09/2021 05:15

Someone who was supposed to be a close friend and after the initial "so sorry" phonecall, couldn't find 30 seconds in her day to message and ask how I was. Heard from her twice in the year after my mum died. In the bin. There's no going back from that as far as i'm concerned.

5BlackDoors · 30/09/2021 05:40

I finished a friendship now after nearly 20 years. It took me ages but I came to the conclusion that he was an entitled user. He only contacted us when he wanted something, and spent years using our house as a 'base' when he wanted to go on holiday. The final straw was when he turned up, newly separated, with his 7 year old and 9 year old and deposited them inside my door (literally without any warning) and said they needed looking after because he had an emergency and it turned out that actually he just wanted a few days away with his mates. There had been alot of bent straws before that, but that was the broken one.

PaulaTrilloe · 30/09/2021 06:56

Used to come to my house on the day my cleaner was here and she knew I was out at work to say I'd given her permission to make international calls on my landline!

Cleaner was wise to this and called me in front of her to check

Felt stalked by her as I had to walk past her house to get to my home. She would then ring the bell and knock repeatedly as soon as I got in to borrow £5 or ask for wine.

When I went on holiday she pinched my hanging baskets from outside my house and put them at her place her excuse was because I was away I would not miss them!

She split up from her husband and then moved 3 doors down from me in the other direction. So then she would get her young son (5) to knock and ring my bell shouting through the letterbox "I know you are in there" he would do this 20+ in a day. Ended up calling social services and considered getting a restraining order. Very odd!

mowly77 · 30/09/2021 07:46
  1. Too smug. Very demanding high standards
2.gave away her lovely old cat because she felt like getting a puppy. There were some other things too; totally checked out when I had cancer. But the cat was the final straw
doubleshotcappuccino · 30/09/2021 08:39

Narcissist.
Psychopath but took me decades to realise