AIBU to think we're all a bit bloody traumatised?

[FarmerXmas]

Not sure what the solution is, but AIBU to think we've all had a sustained period of uncertainty, difficulty and grief?

Maybe considering where we go from here, politics wise, society wise, education wise etc, if people just think that to themselves first, quietly, it would be a good thing.

Life is trauma.

YANBU

It doesn't help that we have a PM who seems to think it is job to constantly "Save everything". It's a really bad vibe and he doesn't even seem to be that good at saving things. He had to save Christmas last year and now he's back. Remember those times when everything didn't need to be saved at the last minute? In fact, nothing needed saving at all? Those were the days.

It's deeply disappointing that Labour have nothing big on housing as far as I can see in the news. The one issue that would actually improve everyone's lives.

I'd like to be more helpful and positive but if such a basic issue has made both parties too fearful to touch it then it seems unavoidable that we'll have to go to a very bad place before we can make things better. I hope that's not the case but I'm all out of jollies atm.

Yes I was thinking that too.

YANBU.

I think we should throw Boris out and mumsnet should have a political party of their own.
Imagine.. we'd solve everyone's problems within a day.

He had to save Christmas last year and now he's back. what's he trying to save now?

Yes OP, we're all a bit bruised.

It's a fine balance between recognising the trauma and giving the trauma legs and reinforcing it. The most important thing is not whether there has been trauma but that people have the tools and ability to cope. So we should focus more on coping than unhelpful acknowledgement of perceived and real trauma.

@GloomAndDoom

He had to save Christmas last year and now he's back. what's he trying to save now?

Yes OP, we're all a bit bruised.

According to the front page headlines, he's here to save Christmas AGAIN.

I would say that for most people traumatised is too far. Yes many people are a bit fed up but actually for most people, it has been manageable. For most of us it has been "shit happens", followed by "onwards and upwards", even if upwards has been on a very flat trajectory.

@QueenoftheKarens

YANBU.

I think we should throw Boris out and mumsnet should have a political party of their own.
Imagine.. we'd solve everyone's problems within a day.

I think absolutely not, when there was a thread on should women be in charge last week there was a sizeable minority who advocated killing most to all living men, with many of their other policies being not much better.

YANBU - I don't know anyone who is having an easy ride at the moment. We've had a fairly trying two years, lost MIL, major injuries (not life changing), life changing diagnosis for DS totally out of the blue, car broken down, dog attacked, working in travel and all the security that has brought, lockdown, my previously cheerful, optimistic DD ground down and becoming anxious about health ... and now DS hating school - anyone of those on its own would have been fine, but all of them together and I'm feeling way more sensitive that I normally would.

I also feel politically homeless - again, uncertainty. Weird times.

According to the front page headlines, he's here to save Christmas AGAIN. he should probably stop.

@MakingM
"It's deeply disappointing that Labour have nothing big on housing as far as I can see in the news. The one issue that would actually improve everyone's lives. I'd like to be more helpful and positive but if such a basic issue has made both parties too fearful to touch it..."

Too fearful? They're building so many houses round me to meet the 300,000 per year annual target, the roads and facilities can't cope with it. My parents used to live in a village and its now a small town and there's planning permission for more. The Tories lost a by election over their building commitments. So I can attest that Labour might not have any commitments on housing, but the bloody Conservatives do. Where do you live that there's no building going on?

Good things have come of Covid such as my medical conditions being made a lot easier to deal with through home working as an example.
But at the same time, it's been bloody fucking awful and hard to deal with.
But cest la vie, all we can really do is keep on keeping on. There is no alternative.

To be clear, I don't have answers.

I agree that just saying ah, you've had a tough time and sitting around singing kumbaya won't help that much.

So I don't know what comes next in terms of getting us all past this. But maybe all of us acknowledging it will enable/empower us to find solutions.

I've previously been treated for trauma. I recognise that a lot of how I feel now is similar to how I felt prior to treatment - angry, unfocused, aimless. And I see that in people around me too. So I dunno, it's almost like a mass trauma.

I will say that after I had my trauma treatment I did literally move on up - with renewed energy and purpose etc. So I got tangible benefits from it.

Maybe we need a task force of therapists and counsellors to get us back on our feet rather than armies driving round with petrol tankers?

I am alarmed at the idea of Xmas being dependent on bloody Boris though!!

@QueenoftheKarens

YANBU.

I think we should throw Boris out and mumsnet should have a political party of their own.
Imagine.. we'd solve everyone's problems within a day.

😂 "US is giving us a hard time with the deal negotiations" "Ltb, they are gaslighting us, gut feeling. They are probably having another negotiations on a side, Spidey senses. Are you sure they don't already have a deal elsewhere? Doesn't look good, minister..."

@FarmerXmas if you don't mind saying, what kind of treatment did you have and how long did it last.
It's something I'm very interested in and have learned a lot about on YouTube.
I'm doing yoga and introceptive awareness meditation and I think it is helping me move past the awful feeling of being stuck and unable to move forward. Also helped me to not drink too much, which I had been doing before.

Aye. Or just spray Zoflora at everyone.

Makes as much sense as anything else!

@FarmerXmas

Aye. Or just spray Zoflora at everyone.

Makes as much sense as anything else!

😂

"No trade deal with these. I don't want food goods from a country where it's not a standard to wash towels every day. If they use dirty towels what else they don't wash! Grim"

I do feel a bit like I'm going through life with gritted teeth at the moment

@FarmerXmas

I am alarmed at the idea of Xmas being dependent on bloody Boris though!!

I would be alarmed at anything being dependent on Boris.

I think we’ve been treated horrifically, especially our children and I hope every day that enough people will soon come together to say - NO MORE!
No more restrictions, no more masks, school and business closures, quarantine, testing, vaccine mandates or passports.

Covid has all but turned into a regular cold virus, a vaccine exists to protect those vulnerable to it, end of story. We all know how to live a normal life and how to keep our kids at home if they’re ill or cancel the trip to the in-laws if we have the flu so let us get on with our own lives fgs!

@QueenoftheKarens

YANBU.

I think we should throw Boris out and mumsnet should have a political party of their own.
Imagine.. we'd solve everyone's problems within a day.

Probably there would then follow a bloody, brutal but completely necessary civil war over whether toilet brushes should be mandatory or banned. And then it would be fine for those that survived.

@GettingUntrapped sorry, that was a really bad cross post!

I had trauma focused therapy through the NHS. It was about reliving the trauma but also reframing it. It took about six months.

First we identified the trauma then identified what the trigger points of the trauma were. These were completely different from what I thought! Which I guess makes sense because trauma is all about disordered memory making.

Then we worked on reliving which was really hard. I would definitely not have wanted to do that without a therapist I trusted in the room.

Then there's the reframing. That was the really transformative part. I never thought I could see what would happen to me in a positive way so I was really sceptical about it but in fact it's not about that. For me it was about looking at my actions during the traumatic event and viewing them as an outsider would. That's because the reason I kept on carrying around the trauma was that on some level I felt culpable. So I needed to acknowledge that and also reframe it.

But for other people it would be different. The focus would be different. It takes a skilled therapist to pick all of that out. I mean, I didn't pitch up saying "I feel guilty". In fact I pitched up saying (roughly) " Christ the world is full of bastards and I hate them all".

That was years ago and I went from being debilitated by anger and frustration to just someone who has a memory of something that's not very nice.

So that's what worked for me.

I've heard since that other people have good results from EDMR which sounds less full on.

Whatever you choose to do, get a good therapist. I couldn't have done it on my own, no way. I was too close to the whole thing.

It's sounds like you're in a really self nurturing and enquiring and ready frame of mind. I'm not an expert but to me that would hopefully encourage a good outcome for you?

Things are not great for many people that’s for sure. I have had quite traumatic things happen during the pandemic and prior to that but i manage by focusing on the positives. I think about the restaurants and theatres reopening and the people I love who are still with us. If I spent all day complaining about Brexit and other such things, and believe me when I say I am highly political, I wouldn’t get through the days. Some people must drive themselves crazy.