AIBU to think we're all a bit bloody traumatised?

[FarmerXmas]

Not sure what the solution is, but AIBU to think we've all had a sustained period of uncertainty, difficulty and grief?

Maybe considering where we go from here, politics wise, society wise, education wise etc, if people just think that to themselves first, quietly, it would be a good thing.

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

But calling being made to stay home, or home schooling, or infection control innately traumatic is actually quite insulting. None of those things that have happened to most people are remotely traumatic.

The trauma a brain will have interpreted is nothing to do with homeschooling, petrol queues or staying at home, that’s disingenuous twaddle. It’s to do with loss of control, fear, and a perceived threat. As someone who has been clinically diagnosed with PTSD, I bloody learned this the hard way. Anyone who thinks they have the right to judge anyone else’s trauma as “not real” or “not justified” really IS insulting and can fuck right off.

And just so you’re aware, genuine trauma can be have absolutely nothing to do with violence.

I disagree.

i have suffered PTSD

I have cared for many other sufferers of PTSD

Trauma is experience of violence and death, and threat of imminent violence and death

I suffered PTSD after myself and my baby were held hostage by a knifeman, who killed another hostage in front of us.

I care for traumatised people who have witnessed war crimes, murders, fatal and unexpected natural disasters like earthquakes.

I have serious concerns over the long term affects of trauma on my nephew who saw his mother collapse and nearly die of a brain haemorrhage, bleeding out of her nose and eyes and mouth, when he was 4

Please dont belittle trauma by equating it with a few months of cleaning your groceries.

Much of the UK population has been stressed, upset, annoyed, inconvenienced, distressed, tired,

But very few have been traumatised. Some have, sure. But very few. And saying you "feel" that you are suffering from trauma isn't really valid, just like saying you "feel" you are suffering from schizophrenia isn't. Its just not like that.

'The definition of trauma is broad because trauma is defined by a person’s subjective experience of it rather than the trauma itself.'

(Taken from the Trauma Practice website, a London-based centre).

It's not a competiton.

Can I just add that I have experienced trauma, and been trained in caring for trauma sufferers, and yes, violence/death or imminent and real threat of violence/death ARE diagnostic criteria.

Whatever you just wrote @Orangejuicemarathoner is exactly the type of prejudice which is a reason why you don't see people with trauma set off by different things than violence and death... Because they are still being told it's not a "real trauma".
Shame on you

I have in the same day gone from caring for a child refugee who is suffering from trauma having been forced to kill his own mother with a hand grenade by soldiers telling him they will shoot his baby brother through the stomach if he doesn't, and then they shot his baby brother anyway.

to a cup of tea with a friend telling me she is traumatised by a shirty email from her boss.

I had to bite my tongue. But no, she wasn't traumatised. She was distressed. It is not the same thing AT ALL

@OrangeJuiceMarathoner

Please don't belittle other people's experiences by dismissing it as 'a few months of cleaning your groceries' For me, I was terrified that my asthmatic son would end up ill and need a ventilator and that I would not be able to get him help from an overwhelmed NHS. I was terrified that food shortages would mean I would not be able to feed my family. I was overwhelmingly affected by not being able to see my Mum, a major element in our family's support system. I grieved for a relative that died from cancer during lockdown and whom I was devastatingly unable to see. I spent nights awake thinking through all the possible scenarios and what would happen to us. I am traumatised by all this, show some empathy.

And for the sake of decency I am playing down what happened to the mother and baby brother here

[quote Porridgealert]@MakingM
"It's deeply disappointing that Labour have nothing big on housing as far as I can see in the news. The one issue that would actually improve everyone's lives. I'd like to be more helpful and positive but if such a basic issue has made both parties too fearful to touch it..."

Too fearful? They're building so many houses round me to meet the 300,000 per year annual target, the roads and facilities can't cope with it. My parents used to live in a village and its now a small town and there's planning permission for more. The Tories lost a by election over their building commitments. So I can attest that Labour might not have any commitments on housing, but the bloody Conservatives do. Where do you live that there's no building going on?[/quote]
I understand that having a lot of homes built around you may in itself be traumatic. I’ve had it happen to me and it is quite traumatic to lose countryside views and greenery and suddenly be surrounded by bricks and concrete.

But we have been under supplying the housing market for years which is why we need to build 300,000 homes a year for several years to make homes affordable again.

Let’s put 300,000 homes into perspective - that’s a city the size of Leeds being built EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR for several years because government after government didn’t deliver on housing.

People need homes and so the facilities will just have to be provided. The reason the money is not there to built extra roads and facilities is because of the 1961 Land Compensation Act that the Conservatives brought in allowing landowners to keep all the profits created by gaining planning permission on development land. Blame them, not the people who need homes.

@Wazzzzzzzup

Whatever you just wrote *@Orangejuicemarathoner* is exactly the type of prejudice which is a reason why you don't see people with trauma set off by different things than violence and death... Because they are still being told it's not a "real trauma". Shame on you

The charities I work for define trauma as related to violence and death and the real and imminent fear of violence and death.

Other things might be deeply distressing, but are not "trauma", and do not have the same effect.

Trauma is caused by fear of imminent death, normally violent death.

A lot of people have had very upsetting things happen to them, but really, are upset, distressed, etc, NOT traumatised.

Anyway, I am not carrying on any further with this thread. I know too many cases of genuine trauma to have any patience with people jumping on the bandwagon without any conception at all of what trauma actually means.

I was woken by an intruder brandishing a screwdriver at me one night and have been a passenger in a bus that spun out of control off a hill and crashed leaving us stranded and injured. Am I allowed to brand the past 18 months traumatic? Because I absolutely recognise ‘traumatic’ as an appropriate word to describe the past eighteen months.

I’m not a fan of telling people what their feelings are at the best of times tbh especially not when we all use the same vocabulary to describe our individual circumstances. Nobody will have an identical experience of trauma to anyone else’s and it’s not acceptable to hold personal experience a barometer other people should adhere to.

If someone says they’re traumatised believe them.

@Orangejuicemarathoner

Anyway, I am not carrying on any further with this thread. I know too many cases of genuine trauma to have any patience with people jumping on the bandwagon without any conception at all of what trauma actually means.

It's your opinion as a layman though

The charities I work for define trauma as related to violence and death and the real and imminent fear of violence and death

And what do you think some people experienced in March 2020 when we were all locked down and watching what was happening in Italy, Spain and France?

Well the trauma can be caused by many things. That your charities concentrate on death or violence only doesn't mean any other cause is acceptable.
The fact that someone would be traumatised by a worldwide event with millions of deaths, tanked economies, job losses etc, doesn't in any way mean that trauma of death and violence is any less.
We can actually admit there are different extreme stressors without it meaning that death and violence are nothing serious. It sounds like that's what you think people are doing.

Just one example.
I believe Mind is trustful charity when it comes to explaining what is what (since charitiea were mentioned)

@Wazzzzzzzup
Yes, exactly. I think we can all tick off several items on that list. Some people may be more resilient than others, but many people are suffering a trauma response to the events of the pandemic.

@MakingM. I'm not traumatised by the building but I am infuriated by it...for a multitude of reasons.

But that wasn't my point. You said that neither political party was tackling the housing crisis and I demonstrated that the present govt are tackling it by building 300,000 houses a year. I might not like it, but houses are being built to tackle the crisis. Its you who seems to be in the fortunate position that no houses are being built where you live.

Absolutely.
Admitting that people can be traumatized by wvent on this scale and the uncertainty, does in no way take away from victims if violence.
It's different cause, doesn't make one real and one non genuine

That was to @AudTheDeepMinded

Can we not just all agree that some people suffer trauma in situations that others don't; that there are different things that people find traumatic; that sometimes people were traumatised during the pandemic, but that many weren't. And that to say that everybody was traumatised is obviously not true as people on here have stated that they weren't traumatised.

I'm the most resilient person, friends comment on it but yes, covid has been.. I can't find the right word. Not traumatic..

It wasn't "washing groceries" for me
It was fear of losing my job, uncertainty about what was happening. Receiving letters and texts not to go outside, to get someone else to take my bin out, not to go shopping. Being told by the media and seeing posts on here about how it was "only" people with underlying health conditions affected and how people shielding were elderly and likely to die anyway, and probably refused a ventilator

Spending 12 weeks without seeing anyone or having a face to face conversation and then the next 6 months shielding
Going back to a supermarket for the first time, having a panic attack for the first time in 8 years and hyperventilating with a mask on at so many people being around me and the fact I hadn't been out for months

Seeing everything start opening back up and realising I wasn't included in that. Seeing mask wearing ending and realising I was more vulnerable than ever and needed to protect myself more, not less. Seeing all the comments about how WFH are lazy/hanging washing/doing chores when I'm glued to a desk for 9hrs a day and still WFH. Realising colleagues have started and left before I've even met them
I mean I could go on

@Porridgealert apparently not!

@Porridgealert

Can we not just all agree that some people suffer trauma in situations that others don't; that there are different things that people find traumatic; that sometimes people were traumatised during the pandemic, but that many weren't. And that to say that everybody was traumatised is obviously not true as people on here have stated that they weren't traumatised.

Yup

I'm not sure if it even matters whether this is defined as 'real' trauma or not - it's still been a deeply distressing 18 months and we are still living with relentless bad news and fear. Lurching from disaster to disaster is not doing anyone's state of mind any good.

I think this is one of the reasons the petrol thing has sent everyone mad. We were just getting used to being able to go places again and then facing the prospect of not being able to go places again.