AIBU to think we're all a bit bloody traumatised?

[FarmerXmas]

Not sure what the solution is, but AIBU to think we've all had a sustained period of uncertainty, difficulty and grief?

Maybe considering where we go from here, politics wise, society wise, education wise etc, if people just think that to themselves first, quietly, it would be a good thing.

@FarmerXmas

LOL people definitely didn't just "get on with" anything after either world war.

Way back in the 20s, before anyone really thought of labelling any generation the way we do now with chat about boomers etc, Ernest Hemingway and his fellows were designated 'the lost generation' due to their nebulous response to the trauma they'd experienced, when they drifted aimlessly across Europe "drinking to forget" and so on.

Similarly when I was a wee girl in the 70s nobody talked about world war 2. Like literally nobody. It was a horrible fucking thing that people couldn't cope with calling to mind. It was only in the 90s when the major government wanted to rally national pride to counter their own difficulties that we first heard this inaccurate picture of brave heroes at home battling against the odds.

People in general do not do well when they experience trauma.

Unfortunately, that’s a skewed and incorrect view of reality.

Hemingway and his ilk were privileged dilettantes. Most people went back to everyday life, had kids and lived normal, if impoverished, lives. My parents both served in the war and often talked about it, some of their generation considered it the best part of their lives. The aftermath of that was the creation of the welfare state and the NHS and a huge house building programme. People were stoic in those days, they had no choice.

"He does that on purpose Lynne"

(Seriously, he does. He musses his hair up on purpose because that's his thing. Ladies and gentlemen: our prime minister.)

I couldn't give a sod about Xmas. I just want some reasonably competent adults to be in charge of the country. It's like we're riding a roller coaster and the wheels are coming off.

Aye, that's true. I'm not looking up and thinking 'now, there's a safe pair of hands'.

@rocklamp

I couldn't give a sod about Xmas. I just want some reasonably competent adults to be in charge of the country. It's like we're riding a roller coaster and the wheels are coming off.

I was just coming on to say that 'Save Christmas' is yet another of Johnson's distractions. If I thought that life was going to become stable again in 2022 I'd take a hit to Christmas on the chin. His Brexit shenanighans and bills that reduce our liberties and rights are, I fear, just going to get worse and worse. I was saying to DH the other day that I don't ever remember a time when I'd get up on a Monday and wonder what the fuck the national crisis was going to be this week.

I quite enjoyed a pared down Christmas last year, despite all the difficulties.

Yes, I agree. My GP diagnosed me with post natal depression and sent me off for talking therapy. My therapist said I was constantly angry because I was so scared of how COVID and other health conditions were affecting my family (husband clinically vulnerable.) And I was isolated from all other family, 300 miles away with a toddler and a newborn. Knowing that my anger had a "justifiable" foundation somehow made it easier.
We're all dealing with shit. It's been an "unprecedented" two years. We just need to cut eachother a bit of slack.

Some people do have PTSD from the pandemic - I know healthcare staff who treated so many hundreds of people and witnessed such a huge scale of death and suffering.
That is individual trauma (still barely acknowledged - these people seem to be resented by the general public).

Then there is the trauma to society. People pitched against each other. New divides created - first there was Brexit (I still know families where that divide is not forgiven) then divides over attitudes and behaviour in the lockdowns, divides over vaccines and now there are divides over returning to 'normal' - in the midst of what is still a pandemic. That is very unsettling and people just trying to get back to how they lived in March 2020 are either storing up trouble for the future or just blissfully ignorant and thus won't be traumatised because they simply don't see the problem.

@FarmerXmas
when I was a wee girl in the 70s nobody talked about world war 2.

The reason why we talked about it in the 90s was because it was the 50yr memorial of everything from WW2 and veterans wanted to commemorate it. That later sparked an interest in history which was reflected in programmes like Tome Team.

In the 70s we only had 3 channels and they finished at midnight. So there wasn't as much free time on TV to broadcast that much WW2 programmes but there was World at War which was a 26 episode documentary of ww2 that was released in the early 70s. So it was definitely talked about. And my whole history o level was just about WW2! So boring! My parents were too young to fight but definitely they were around during WW2 and they often talked about their experiences. I agree that older relatives didn't talk about their actual battle experience, but female relatives talked about what it was like at home.

Recently I’ve been having these moments where I’ve tried to recapture the feeling of before Covid and the lockdowns. And I just can’t. It’s like my brain and feelings are frozen still. I think it’s because it’s all too big to process.

I’ve lost members of my family to cancer, including my mum as a child. This Covid stuff still feels traumatic though, even after that ...

This feels like some kind of torture has been done to us. I really question whether the lockdowns were necessary seeing as COVID is free to spread now. What did the lockdowns achieve?

We are being lied to and manipulated all the time by our hideous government. And watching our country crumble plus our children’s future with it. That is traumatic in itself.

To be fair, the reason why Johnson is talking about Christmas is because the papers are speculating about Christmas and interviewers are asking about Christmas. And when are there not food shortages at Christmas. I remember seeing two women getting into an actual fight at Asda over the last jar of cranberry sauce!

I really question whether the lockdowns were necessary seeing as COVID is free to spread now. What did the lockdowns achieve?

The lockdiwns were before the more vulnerable had had the vaccine. We would have suffered so many more deaths if there'd been no lockdowns.

I don't feel traumatised and I don't know anybody who does. Stressed? yes, fed up, yes, future uncertain? yes but then it always is. I am sure that there are people who have had dreadful times and I am grateful that I and my friends and loved ones have escaped them but I don't think that we are all a bit traumatised and to say that is overrreacting.

I was saying to DH the other day that I don't ever remember a time when I'd get up on a Monday and wonder what the fuck the national crisis was going to be this week.

I agree. We've had similar conversations. Even ds2 has started to ask what's gone wrong each day.

@rocklamp That’s not at all healthy. He may need some specialist help. In the meantime talk to him about all the positive things that have happened in the world.

Don't worry about it, he's 17 now.

That’s actually a really tricky age. Their brains are still developing.

That’s not at all healthy. He may need some specialist help. In the meantime talk to him about all the positive things that have happened in the world.

The devision, one up man ship and judgement in comments like this adds to the trauma but also reveals cemented down, unacknowledged trauma in the poster.

We have used social media more than ever in this crisis. For many of us it was the only way of communicating for a long time. The devision that’s been stoked is very sad. Those that grieve the kinder world from before should not be sneered at.

The kids are getting through it in their own way I agree. It's well seen they're the kids of gen X though. Have youseen the memes they're putting out there??! 😂 Christ, I thought us lot were cynical but this tech savvy message micro-decodinh bunch have me beat. Just as well they're going to be in charge of the world in ten years.

Eek typos.

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

But calling being made to stay home, or home schooling, or infection control innately traumatic is actually quite insulting. None of those things that have happened to most people are remotely traumatic.

The trauma a brain will have interpreted is nothing to do with homeschooling, petrol queues or staying at home, that’s disingenuous twaddle. It’s to do with loss of control, fear, and a perceived threat. As someone who has been clinically diagnosed with PTSD, I bloody learned this the hard way. Anyone who thinks they have the right to judge anyone else’s trauma as “not real” or “not justified” really IS insulting and can fuck right off.

And just so you’re aware, genuine trauma can be have absolutely nothing to do with violence.

This

@pontypridd Really? One-upmanship? Do you think it’s healthy for teenagers to be overwhelmed with problems they can’t control? I thought I was being supportive!

YANBU, I'm traumatised by attempting to SAHM a baby and a toddler, alone, no where to go and no one to interact with, for nearly a year.

It's buried very deep and I'm floating through life with some sort of horrible core of numbness, boredom, fear, anger, distress, agonizing guilt and regret.

Everything is "back to normal". No recovery time. No repair.

As time goes on, the more I just feel like I don't exist, or I'm invisible. On the surface everything is fine and normal but inside I'm broken.

I don't see any opportunities for me to "get better" or whatever I'm supposed to do. I'm trying to live with it but I've forgotten what living is.

There's no one untouched by the pandemic, there's no point trying to talk to anyone, everyone has their own story of suffering and no one wants to hear me moaning on.

I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore tbh.

I guess I should finish by adding the disclaimer, I'm not saying every SAHP who had a baby and a toddler is traumatised. I'm saying I am. Me, personally. Just because people don't recognise it doesn't make it untrue.

@SoundBar I have been through a traumatic experience while having young children (DP) was seriously ill for a long time. It took about 18months after we were out of the woods for me to process what had happened and feel better. I promise you that in time you will start to feel normal again.

@ GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin
Exactly, you've hit the nail on the head. At the start of the pandemic I was terrified of what was happening and what was about to happen. I feared for my life and lives of my family (given the scenes from Italy etc this was not unreasonable). Although, in the end, none of us suffered actual harm me brain responded to the threat and it WAS traumatic. (it was also stressful, inconvenient, frustrating etc). The fear was real and it is only know that I think I am processing what it was like to live at that level of heightened alert.
All those posters dismissing my experience as not traumatic can sod off (and yes, I too have had PTSD in the past, so do known what that is like). My feelings are valid.