to ask if your children ever get the wrong end of the stick

[chocolatecrispiebun]

When my daughter was about 10 or 11 they'd had a talk in school about sex/sexual health. When she came home I asked her about it and what she'd learnt. She said "I can't remember it all but if you catch flush you have to put yoghurt on your ovaries"

Once talking about at an ice scraper in the Argos book. Eldest son said ' that sounds painful, an eye scraper!'

An easy mistake though @Knockoneofftheshelftowin as to be fair to him it sounds very similar! Another one of my daughter's that made me laugh was when we first moved to Ireland and not knowing much about religion, she used to think the local school was called Poke John Paul rather than Pope John Paul.

When I was young my parents explained that we didn’t buy South African apples because we didn’t agree with apartheid. It took me years to work out why that didn’t make us as bad as them as I thought we didn’t want to buy apples from foreign people.

@Letsnotargue yes it's a shame they didn't explain to you what apartheid was! I was confused about a lot of things as a child that my parents never explained. I also remember my next door neighbour's son getting frustrated with me as we were clearing some toys up and I asked him to put the tambourine into the toy box. He kept saying you can't put a jumping thing in there. It took me ages to work out that he thought I meant trampoline.

My 3yo was very cute when I said, we need to go down this alley to get to the park. "Does aunty Ally live here?"

My parents always say ‘God bless’ when they say goodnight and when DS was little he misheard it as ‘Cod bless’ so that’s what we say now .

My daughter was very disappointed when we got to Piccadilly Circus. I should have explained that it wasn't actually a circus.

My DD is in the habit of asking "mummy can you do me a flavour?"

My daughter had mojitos at Guide Camp.

(Thought to myself if they're having mojitos at Guide Camp I should've volunteered)

Turns out it was fajitas

On holiday with friends. My friends husband adored ds (he was 3 at the time) we had brunch and he picked up ds and said let us boys go down to the beach and check out the chick ds replied clapping his hands yay I love chips

Had a convo with DD then aged 8 about how babies were made.

Was feeling very proud of myself for doing it in a clear, understandable, age appropriate way.

And then a few days later DD looked at me in utter bemusement and horror and said "But surely you don't have to take your pants off?!"

DS4 always says how 'froggy' it is at the seaside. I'll be saying that forever now!

My young son announced to the family that his aunty has had a "blow job" hed misheard her talking about her boob job. (I hope!)

@MintyCedric

Had a convo with DD then aged 8 about how babies were made.

Was feeling very proud of myself for doing it in a clear, understandable, age appropriate way.

And then a few days later DD looked at me in utter bemusement and horror and said "But surely you don't have to take your pants off?!"

That reminds me of a time when I was also explaining similar to my daughter. She said incredulously… you and dad did that????? TWICE!!!!!

@Ledition

My DD is in the habit of asking "mummy can you do me a flavour?"

My son used to say that. I miss those days.

To DS it’s always been ‘insect day’ instead of ‘inset day’ We all say it now. The first time he heard it he genuinely thought there was going to be a visit or something from an insect farm 😂

My then 3 year old was very disappointed at the penguin parade at Edinburgh zoo. She really thought they would dance their way round not just waddle.

When he was about 4. My ds came out of nursery telling me a man came to talk about "plums". He said "fresh air is good for plums. But cars and smoke is bad for plums" I don't think he knew what a lung was at the time tbf.

DD regularly complains about things taking "a hundred ears". Complete with dramatic hand gesture.

These are hilarious. Had a crappy day and these have cheered me up a lot!
A family member when really little, first school nativity, singing Silent Night ''brown john virgin,mother and child''

When my son was little he told my Mum that "Daddy was getting a new computer because he had a boner at work"....

my brother used to say, tay-vel for table, and now i do it in honour of him. i miss him.
my other brother still struggles to differentiate shoulder from soldier.

i love Poke John Paul School; imagine going there , kudos !

My 3 year old calls motorbikes “naughty bikes.” It’s so perfect I don’t want to correct her.

Also, when I was about 4 I was very excited when I overheard my mum and my nan talking about listening to something on the radio. “I want to listen to the budgie too!” I exclaimed. I was pretty disappointed to learn what the budget was.