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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if your children ever get the wrong end of the stick

131 replies

chocolatecrispiebun · 28/09/2021 19:07

When my daughter was about 10 or 11 they'd had a talk in school about sex/sexual health. When she came home I asked her about it and what she'd learnt. She said "I can't remember it all but if you catch flush you have to put yoghurt on your ovaries"

OP posts:
SilenceOfThePrams · 29/09/2021 07:17

@alloalloallo

My eldest thought the dual carriageway into town was the George Harris Way

That came to light when she went down it in one of her driving lessons

She said she’d always wondered who George Harris was

It was jewel carriageway here. Oh the disappointment! Although they did think the cats eyes in the middle might be giant diamonds for a while.
DoubleHelix79 · 29/09/2021 07:18

My younger brother, when he was about 5 or 6, was ask3d whether he wanted to go to ski school. He got very upset but we couldn't work out why he was so distraught at the idea. We finally figured out that he thought he'd have to do school work (work, maths), while having to ski at the same time. Like an extra hard version of school. We sid clear that up and he did enjoy skiiing.

FlamingoYellow · 29/09/2021 07:36

Last year my ds (then aged 6) told me that one of the children in his class was ice-skating due to covid.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 29/09/2021 07:36

When DS was 6 his teacher called me over at the end of the day to show me his maths work. He was amazing at maths so she was concerned that he'd got every single question wrong for the past three days. After we spoke to him about it he shrugged and said he'd done it on purpose because "Mrs L said we have to make mistakes so we can learn from them"! I'm not sure exactly what he thought he'd learn from purposely writing the wrong answers Confused

problembottom · 29/09/2021 07:39

I met my friend the other day and she said: “do I have a tale to tell you”. DD, 2, craned her head from her pram to try and see her tail. Cute!

My fave was my niece when she was about 3 or 4. I think she must have recently been told people die when they’re old and was trying to work it all out. She looked across the table and asked: “Grandma, are you dead?” Creased me right up. Grandma is still with us a decade on.

EmeraldShamrock · 29/09/2021 07:42

Awh these are hilariously cute.

RobinPenguins · 29/09/2021 07:46

@GuyFawkesDay

We had Farmer Christmas in our house, and that's stuck forever now.
DD called the priest at church Farmer Michael. She doesn’t say it anymore but I still do.
Thatsplentyjack · 29/09/2021 07:53

I spent a lot of my childhood pretty confused about a lot of things 🤣

This one isn't from one of my kids but a little boy my mum used to look after. We went to the park and they sat out at one of the picnic benches and I went into the cafe to get everyone lunch. When I came out, I said to my my "it's dead in there" (unusual because it was always pretty busy). About 20 mins later the little boy said to me "Jack, is everyone really dead in there" 🤣 wee soul, he had obviously been sitting worrying about that. He was ot about 3. I felt terrible.

UniformSchmooniform · 29/09/2021 08:06

Nativity song where a line was 'Mary knelt down' ended up as 'Mary melts down' Grin

12BottlesOfVintageChampagne · 29/09/2021 08:12

An ex-boyfriend once told me that when he was little he was convinced that he knew God's first name and that it was Peter. This was because, when in church, everyone used to say "Thanks, Peter God" 😆

CigarsofthePharoahs · 29/09/2021 08:21

No, Gods first name is Ed. Hallo, Ed be thy name.

MrsFin · 29/09/2021 08:40

"Why are people raising money for Children in Neath?"
(Town in Wales where in-laws live)

Thisbastardcomputer · 29/09/2021 09:00

I was the Angel Gabriel in the baby class nativity play, I'd been told about my costume and my wings but until the day itself, I hadn't seen it.

I refused to go on stage out of sheer disappointment, I was crying my eyes out, imagine seeing foil covered cardboard wings that pinned to the back of my long white dress. I thought I was getting real wings and I could fly round the church and wave to my grandad. Then to add insult to injury, someone mentioned the Angel Gabriel was a boy !

My Mother had to be got out of the audience to 'speak' to me and force me to perform.

MintyGreenDream · 29/09/2021 09:03

I thought all the ready basted turkeys in the freezer aisle at Xmas had swear words on them and I didn't understand how that was allowed.

Thisbastardcomputer · 29/09/2021 09:03

@alloalloallo

My eldest thought the dual carriageway into town was the George Harris Way

That came to light when she went down it in one of her driving lessons

She said she’d always wondered who George Harris was

Mine always called it 'the give way'
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 29/09/2021 09:07

When Ds was about 6 we were visiting family in Scotland and took a train from their place into Edinburgh over the bridge, he was very quiet and clingy, almost a bit scared which seemed odd as he usually loved trains, turns out he thought when you went over the bridge you went up and down like a rollercoaster over the bridge sides 😁

florentina1 · 29/09/2021 09:21

Sex education had an unexpected side effect of contraception for my 7 year old son. He declared that he was never going to have children as he did want to put his Willy in a hole.

LadyDanburysHat · 29/09/2021 09:26

DS2 when he was about 2 or 3 years old. I told him we needed to go to Boots to get something. We enter Boots the chemist and he says 'there aren't any boots here' in a confused voice.

peachgreen · 29/09/2021 10:02

DD also calls the cereal "Fruit and Fiver" - it's too cute to correct.

ohfourfoxache · 29/09/2021 10:08

DS (4): mummy yous so skinny
Me: no sweetheart, I’m fat - I’m not skinny
DS: no, yous skinny - yous got lots of skin

Can’t argue with that really….

DaisyDozyDee · 29/09/2021 10:19

My toddler got a nasal flu vaccine and thought it was to stop you getting flew, which in her head meant getting blown away on a windy day. She was tiny, and we did have a few extremely stormy days around then, so I can see why getting blown away was something she’d have genuinely been worried about.

cleanasawhistle · 29/09/2021 10:23

A friendly man we used to bump into everytime we went to local shops used to ruffle my 3 year olds hair and say Hiya Son.

My son said to me next time he says Hiya Sun I will say Hiya Moon

MintyGreenDream · 29/09/2021 10:24

@florentina1 🤣

JustAReflektor · 29/09/2021 10:37

We recently visited a historical site. Despite explaining before we went that all the treasure had been located and carefully excavated by experts and was now safely in a museum, DS still fully expected to find a skeleton or some jewels just casually lying by the path, undiscovered for several thousand years. He was really upset not to find anything.

JustAReflektor · 29/09/2021 10:41

When we were little my dad used to let us pick a horse in the grand national and he'd bet a pound on it for us. One year my sister's horse won and she was in floods of tears. Turned out she thought she'd won the horse and our house wasn't big enough to keep it.