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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asking boyfriend of 3 months for money .....

171 replies

kelsey44xxx · 28/09/2021 17:34

Started seeing each other end of July.
Things are going well and we are "official"
Decided to book tickets for a concert next June and they were £130 each.
They fell before our payday so I said I will get them on my credit card and just pay it when the bill comes this month.
He said he would give me the money when he gets paid.

Anyway his pay day came last week and he never offered to pay.
My bill has came and I really don't want to get charged interest.

Aibu to ask him?
I've been dropping subtle hints like ...
Can't wait to see them live next year and
Just listening to this song ..can't wait for next year etc etc but zilch
Nothing

OP posts:
Apiddleawiddle · 29/09/2021 21:06

'Ere pal, get yer ticket paid! Unless you would prefer me to take someone else'
Done.

DobbleBobble · 29/09/2021 21:27

Nice ending. Hope you enjoy the concert and night away.

Lollee · 29/09/2021 21:32

Well you have certainly shown him haven't you? He now knows exactly how to play you and that you are soft touch that he will continue to treat in this way, and guess what? You will fall for it every time. If you don't set the boundaries now the relationship is doomed. If you act like a doormat he will wipe his feet all over you.

Maximum71 · 29/09/2021 21:34

@BoredZelda
How do I fliter? I usually end up scrolling through the comments to find OP's comments on their posts but if I can filter - that would be ace Grin

BoredZelda · 29/09/2021 23:53

@Maximum71 on the webpage click see all. On the app swipe left on the OP's post and click filter.

timeisnotaline · 30/09/2021 00:00

The only red flag here is an adult woman’s inability to ask for something her boyfriend has already committed to. Please use this as a lesson!

avamiah · 30/09/2021 00:06

Glad he paid for his ticket, that’s always a good start in a relationship .

saltinesandcoffeecups · 30/09/2021 00:15

Op, great advice that I’ve always tried to remember… “start as you mean to go”. Meaning it’s harder to change things as time goes by and habits are formed.

This will hopefully be the first of many uncomfortable conversations with your boyfriend, but if you can’t be completely honest and open with your partner, who can you be with?

Glad you took the step.

Mamanyt · 30/09/2021 00:27

@Eralos

Hey can you transfer me £130 for the gig, my bill came in and I need to sort it, thanks!

If he doesn’t pay or makes excuses, sell his ticket and dump him. Could just be an oversight on his part, his reaction will tell you.

Yep. Best answer. If he pays, and apologizes for taking so long, all is well. If he pays, but grouses about it, OR doesn't pay at all, sell his ticket and wish him well with someone (ANYONE) who is not you.
JuneJuly · 30/09/2021 02:19

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June. I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.
First line of the OP says "started seeing each other end of July" which contradicts the quoted second post ^^

🥴

HoppingPavlova · 30/09/2021 04:12

I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.

How is this in any way shape or form an awkward situation? ‘Hi, credit card bill has arrived. Can you transfer me the 130 for your ticket by end of week, here are my bank details, thx’.

DollyParton2 · 30/09/2021 07:40

Derbee so so agree! Haven’t been on here for months and it’s got even worse...

Sunshineandflipflops · 30/09/2021 08:07

Glad he's paid you. My partner is a bit like this and genuinely forgets stuff like that. I on the other hand hate owing people money and pay asap.

I was dating someone a couple of years ago. It had only been a few weeks and he said he'd really like to come to a festival I was planning on going to with friends the following summer (so a year away). I thought "well this is a bit in advance but he obviously thinks this had legs" so I booked him a ticket with mine (he was going to pay me back) and then he dumped me a week or so later.

Fortunately I managed to sell the spare ticket to a friends' partner who wanted to go but lesson learned!

Maximum71 · 30/09/2021 11:19

@Derbee
Agree! I've never read so many judgmental comments as on Mumsnet. I come here to laugh most of the time Wink thanks for pointing this out.
I moved in with my new partner and 4 stepkids after knowing the guy all of 2.5 months.. sometimes when you know you know. You can't go around thinking I'm not getting my cash out in case we finish in 6 months.. how's that going to help a relationship? 😂
A relationship is a learning curve in itself. OP will have more confidence because of this now. (Well she might have if the mumsnetters weren't so blooming harsh!)
Ps on one post I was asking for help and I was literally told it was my fault that my stepson had holes in his teeth.. just mine - no one else's .. still makes me laugh - more with incredulity than anything else LOL.

chaosmaker · 30/09/2021 11:28

@kelsey44xxx

I text him and asked him and he apologised and sent the money over straight away. Also surprised me and he has booked a hotel for us so we don't have to travel home same night. Worry for nothing
Great, lovely that he's booked a hotel for you too. Just goes to show that it's better to say what you want up front!
Starlightstarbright1 · 30/09/2021 11:31

@Eralos

Hey can you transfer me £130 for the gig, my bill came in and I need to sort it, thanks!

If he doesn’t pay or makes excuses, sell his ticket and dump him. Could just be an oversight on his part, his reaction will tell you.

This exactly....it tells you your whole future how he responds...
chaosmaker · 30/09/2021 11:31

@Lollee

Well you have certainly shown him haven't you? He now knows exactly how to play you and that you are soft touch that he will continue to treat in this way, and guess what? You will fall for it every time. If you don't set the boundaries now the relationship is doomed. If you act like a doormat he will wipe his feet all over you.
RTFT
Starlightstarbright1 · 30/09/2021 11:33

missed update.. glad it is resolved op..

LoisLane66 · 30/09/2021 21:11

Er...from the end of July until the end of September is not 3 months, it's 2.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 30/09/2021 21:13

Great news op but I need to know who you're going to see at £130 a ticket!!!

Mamanyt · 30/09/2021 22:54

VERY good, OP. For all the extreme negativity on here, this ended very well, and I hope that you remember in the future that men are NOT, generally, good with hints. You have to be fairly blunt, although not to the point of rudeness...at first. And yours responded just as he ought to have. Well done, on BOTH of your parts!

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