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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asking boyfriend of 3 months for money .....

171 replies

kelsey44xxx · 28/09/2021 17:34

Started seeing each other end of July.
Things are going well and we are "official"
Decided to book tickets for a concert next June and they were £130 each.
They fell before our payday so I said I will get them on my credit card and just pay it when the bill comes this month.
He said he would give me the money when he gets paid.

Anyway his pay day came last week and he never offered to pay.
My bill has came and I really don't want to get charged interest.

Aibu to ask him?
I've been dropping subtle hints like ...
Can't wait to see them live next year and
Just listening to this song ..can't wait for next year etc etc but zilch
Nothing

OP posts:
BrilliantBetty · 29/09/2021 17:50

That's great, how nice he booked a hotel too.

I'm not sure what 'official' really means. But this is just dating for a short time. Maybe don't book things for next year because it's still early days & you're both seeing how it goes. You don't want things booked in so that you feel too tied in or guilty for calling it a day if you decide it's not for you.

Mrgrinch · 29/09/2021 17:51

Glad it's sorted.

Just remember that you're in the early stages of your relationship so setting the standard for how things will be done.

BornIn78 · 29/09/2021 18:03

Well done, see, you were assertive and the sky didn't fall in. Enjoy it!

Roxy69 · 29/09/2021 18:05

@Hattie765

Send him a text and ask for it, if he doesn't transfer it within 24 hours dump him and move on as it will get worse from here x
Absolutely right. Easier now than later when it might be more difficult. He won't change.
Derbee · 29/09/2021 18:14

For fuck sake, there’s so much man hating anger on this website. OP has said HE HAS PAID and HE HAS BOOKED A HOTEL AS A SURPRISE. He’s not cheap, taking advantage, a dick etc etc etc.

I think a lot of people need to stop projecting. Glad it’s sorted OP

Derbee · 29/09/2021 18:15

And forgetting to transfer a bit of money for a few days, the number of people who were shouting a”dump him” is really pathetic

Talktalkchat · 29/09/2021 18:19

@Derbee

And forgetting to transfer a bit of money for a few days, the number of people who were shouting a”dump him” is really pathetic
And not having any money is also dumb
Pollygetthevodkaout · 29/09/2021 18:24

@Leeds2

I would text him my bank details and ask him to transfer £130 asap, as my credit card bill is due to be paid.
This
Bombaloorina · 29/09/2021 18:26

HE HAS PAID IT BACK.

And he has paid for the hotel (which the OP now owes him).

It’s resolved.

Walkingalot · 29/09/2021 18:27

@kelsey44xxx - Lovely update. Sounds like he's a keeper.
I hope it gives you confidence to speak out sooner and/or be more direct.

Fluffmum · 29/09/2021 18:29

No more hints! Just tell him to cough up

drawacircleroundit · 29/09/2021 18:29

@Derbee

And forgetting to transfer a bit of money for a few days, the number of people who were shouting a”dump him” is really pathetic
Definitely dump him. How a partner behaves around money is significant. He should have set reminders on his phone, put notes on his fridge, and left messages to himself all over his house so that he paid you back the second he got paid. How badly you feel now is evidence that he doesn't care; he's happy to let you feel like this. And if he genuinely hasn't remembered...that's just as much of a warning sign.
Derbee · 29/09/2021 18:30

@Talktalkchat I don’t understand your comment. They have money. It’s all square.

Derbee · 29/09/2021 18:31

How a partner behaves around money is significant. He should have set reminders on his phone, put notes on his fridge, and left messages to himself all over his house so that he paid you back the second he got paid

I’d think about dumping someone who was so uptight and weird about money

HTH1 · 29/09/2021 18:44

You’re not asking him for money, just to pay back money he already knows he owes you! YANBU

staceyflack · 29/09/2021 18:52

That's lovely news OP. Sounds like a keeper! 😉

BooneyBeautiful · 29/09/2021 19:12

Men don't do hints, so you will just have to ask him outright. Chances are it may have just slipped his mind.

BoredZelda · 29/09/2021 19:15

Just for those who can’t even be bothered to filter the OP’s posts before responding, he has paid up now with no drama.

Herecomesthesun70 · 29/09/2021 19:34

Who are you going to see more importantly

StrongLegs · 29/09/2021 19:38

Excellent news kelsey44xxx, he sounds like a keeper. :-)

Tessabelle74 · 29/09/2021 19:39

I you can't talk about £130 with him, may aswell give up now before you need to talk about important stuff, like kids

PuzzledObserver · 29/09/2021 19:40

@vastgrandupgrade

What do you mean by "becoming official"? How is that different to dating?

There are many different stages to getting together with someone these days. It’s incredibly complicated! Link

Honestly, I have no idea how they ever get to the end Confused

Dear God, I’m glad I’m old and married! It was bad enough getting into a new relationship when we were in our late thirties.
TheChosenTwo · 29/09/2021 20:39

Are you the same poster who was disappointed that their boyfriend had booked a premier inn rather than a malmaison the other day? I remember that OP said she had booked gig tickets for next year too! May be wrong, I just never ever link posters together or really recognise names Grin
Anyway, glad you’ve got your share of the money now, it wasn’t so hard after all!

EmeraldShamrock · 29/09/2021 20:41

I'm glad it is sorted now.

GorgonzolaSouffle · 29/09/2021 21:03

@Tessabelle74. HE HAS PAID 😃😃😃

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