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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking boyfriend of 3 months for money .....

171 replies

kelsey44xxx · 28/09/2021 17:34

Started seeing each other end of July.
Things are going well and we are "official"
Decided to book tickets for a concert next June and they were £130 each.
They fell before our payday so I said I will get them on my credit card and just pay it when the bill comes this month.
He said he would give me the money when he gets paid.

Anyway his pay day came last week and he never offered to pay.
My bill has came and I really don't want to get charged interest.

Aibu to ask him?
I've been dropping subtle hints like ...
Can't wait to see them live next year and
Just listening to this song ..can't wait for next year etc etc but zilch
Nothing

OP posts:
Anonymous48 · 28/09/2021 17:58

@Bluntness100

End of July till now is two months

I can’t believe the two of you booked something so expensive to go together with someone you’ve dated a few weeks, that’s,,,optimistic.

This exactly! I don't know where you got three months from. It's barely two months.

Did he actually think you were serious, given that you've only been seeing each other a few weeks?

Newkitchen123 · 28/09/2021 17:58

Very far ahead for a two month relationship!
Hi BF here are my details for the money for the tickets I need to pay the bill by Friday

ChargingBuck · 28/09/2021 17:59

Why have you been "dropping subtle hints"?

Is it because you are generally shy?
Or is it because you are afraid of his reaction?

Original poster
kelsey44xxx · 28/09/2021 18:01

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June.
I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.

OP posts:
Thehop · 28/09/2021 18:01

“Hi! The credit card bill is in, here’s my bank details for your £130. Cheers x”

Pompom2367 · 28/09/2021 18:03

Just be up front

JacquelineCarlyle · 28/09/2021 18:07

Agree with everyone else - tell him you've received your credit card bill and need him to transfer the money to you & text him your bank details.

Anonymous48 · 28/09/2021 18:08

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June. I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.
What do you mean by "becoming official"? How is that different to dating?
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 28/09/2021 18:10

Have you given him the ticket? I wouldn’t be handing over that much money to someone I’ve only known for three months without the actual ticket.

TimeForTeaAndG · 28/09/2021 18:13

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June. I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.
It really isn't awkward to follow up on an agreed situation. You bought the tickets with the agreement he would pay you back for his. The bill is now in and he's been paid so you ask him to transfer you the money for his ticket.

If he says he can't then you say fine but I'll need to sell your ticket as I can't afford the credit card bill by myself.

vastgrandupgrade · 28/09/2021 18:13

What do you mean by "becoming official"? How is that different to dating?

There are many different stages to getting together with someone these days. It’s incredibly complicated! Link

Honestly, I have no idea how they ever get to the end Confused

Batshitkerazy · 28/09/2021 18:14

Why on earth wouldn’t you just ask him?

Sparklfairy · 28/09/2021 18:15

I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.

Then don't suggest things like this that have the potential to get awkward!!

Sprostongreen21 · 28/09/2021 18:16

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June. I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.
That’s where texts come in like advised above. Direct without being face to face and awkward.
Soulstirring · 28/09/2021 18:16

Rip off the bandaid and ask him, lots of good suggestions above. I’m like you, overthink what should be a straightforward request. It’s ok to ask him

burnoutbabe · 28/09/2021 18:16

I assume you won't get the tickets until close to the date of the concert

So he is going to have to trust you give him the ticket if you split and he had paid.

Much easier if you can give him ticket now. Hopefully he'll give you money anyway if that was what was agreed.

notanothertakeaway · 28/09/2021 18:16

Don't drop hints and expect someone to guess what you actually meant

Just be polite, friendly and clear, and ask for the £

Peanutsandchilli · 28/09/2021 18:26

Bloody hell. Your boyfriend owes you money and instead of just asking him you drop 'subtle hints' and post on Mumsnet asking whether you should ask him? Wtf is wrong with people on here?!

Bluntness100 · 28/09/2021 18:29

Then don’t take the convo, text him. But don’t be a mug and let this bloke take advantage of you.

BornIn78 · 28/09/2021 18:33

Send him the text suggested above.

Less than 3 months in, it’s a good time to find out his attitude to money and debt.

If he does anything other than immediately transfer you the £130 he owes you, dump him and consider it a cheap lesson learned.

suspiria777 · 28/09/2021 18:38

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June. I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.
It's only awkward if you make it awkward. You've had lots of good, straightforward scripts to use in previous replies here. Text him saying you've had your CC bill through and can he pay his £130 for the tickets today. Include your bank details. Easy.
Aprilx · 28/09/2021 18:38

I don’t understand the official versus non official dating, before my time, but whether it was June or July, it seems very premature to buy expensive concert tickets for the following year!

If I were him, I would not be too happy about paying for a ticket for something I might never get to. So I think when you ask for the money I would make it clear that you are going to hand his ticket over immediately not hold onto it for a year.

Mantlemoose · 28/09/2021 18:38

This isn't an awkward conversation though. Just say that's my credit card card bill in can I have your ticket money please.

traintraveller · 28/09/2021 18:39

Less than 3 months in I wouldn't be handing over money for something not happening for 9 months unless I had been given the ticket.

Lupellegrino · 28/09/2021 18:39

Have you texted him yet @kelsey44xxx