Asking boyfriend of 3 months for money .....

[kelsey44xxx]

Started seeing each other end of July.
Things are going well and we are "official"
Decided to book tickets for a concert next June and they were £130 each.
They fell before our payday so I said I will get them on my credit card and just pay it when the bill comes this month.
He said he would give me the money when he gets paid.

Anyway his pay day came last week and he never offered to pay.
My bill has came and I really don't want to get charged interest.

Aibu to ask him?
I've been dropping subtle hints like ...
Can't wait to see them live next year and
Just listening to this song ..can't wait for next year etc etc but zilch
Nothing

[EarringsandLipstick]

My bill has came and I really don't want to get charged interest.

Aibu to ask him?
I've been dropping subtle hints like ...
Can't wait to see them live next year and
Just listening to this song ..can't wait for next year etc etc but zilch

I cannot understand this way of behaving. If you cannot be clear about a basic situation like this - you agreed to pay, now he needs to pay you back - in the early stages of a relationship, how is it going to process to a meaningful respectful relationship?

No more hinting. Say it directly.

[Bombaloorina]

Bizarre that you’ve framed the thread as if you’re asking him to give you money.

When you’re not - you’re asking him to pay you money he owes you.

For the record - it’s OK to ask this of someone you’ve known 1 second, let alone been dating for three months.

[Lilymossflower]

Ask him directly, if he don't pay or make excuses them dump him

[Hummingbird427]

I don't understand what the op is on here. He said he'd pay half. Stop dicking around dropping hints and just tell him your bill is due. Here are my bank details so you can pay your half to me.

If there's a problem raising it with him, or he reacts badly, time to rethink being with him!

[AtrociousCircumstance]

He owes you money. And he knows that.

He isn’t looking good at the moment. At all.

Give him a chance to redeem himself by saying, hey, please transfer the £130 for the tickets - here are my details. So looking forward to it!

If he’s shitty about it or avoidant dump him.

[Embracelife]

Sell the ticket to a,reliable friend instead
You may not be dating this guy by next June

[MissMaple82]

Obviously NO

[MissMaple82]

Probably won't be together by then anyway. Who's idea was the concert

[Chickychoccyegg]

You would be very unreasonable not to send him one of the perfectly good texts already suggested, to be honest op this really shouldn't be an issue, and if it is you need to ask yourself why?
Even being shy and awkward makes no difference when you're texting.

[DotsandCo]

FFS! I am so often astonished by the lack of gumption on here!!

Just bloody ask him for the money! What is wrong with you???

[AuntieStella]

Just ask - he agreed to pay you after pay day, which it now is. If he does anything other than say 'sure, what's the best way?' then be wary

But what will happen if you split up before the gig? Uncomfortable conversation, but necessary.

[FriedTomatoe]

What I've always done with boyfriends is to take it in turns to pay for big ticket items. In saying this, I would never spend more than I can afford to lose. You have two options depending on how much you trust him. Option 1 is to ask for it all up front. Option 2 is to ask him to pay for everything until he's basically paid you back. In the meantime, pay off what you can afford to pay and don't spend anymore money on this man.

[Itsbeen84yearss]

You did what?! Waaaay too much reassurance for him. ‘Official’ what does that mean? Nothing. I would never, ever make plans for the future with a guy of two months beyond the next week and certainly not plans that cost £260 but the money is the least of your worries. You need to look at how you approach dating because you’re going to get burned.
I actually would not mention it again and go with a friend.

[oakleaffy]

Never buy stuff on credit for someone like this.
As others have said you may not even be together next year..
Ask for his share of the money.
I hope you get it!

[Bombaloorina]

@DotsandCo

FFS! I am so often astonished by the lack of gumption on here!!

Just bloody ask him for the money! What is wrong with you???

Agree. Mumsnet is a continual window into a completely different world for me.

I’m not sure what sort of advice the OP was expecting. What is there to suggest, other than - ‘ask him for it’….?

I doubt she’ll be back.

[Rummikubfan]

Just say to him “can you transfer me the money for the gig so I can pay my credit card bill here are the details”


Text if if you don’t want to say it

BTW partner and I booked a holiday for 8 months in the future after we had been together for a month. No red flags, we had a lovely time.

[BurntO]

OP just message and say hey can you send me 130 for the tickets please? My bank details are X.

Follow up with a casual question if you feel like you want to keep it light but this shouldn’t be awkward

[LowbrowVictoriana]

I don’t understand this. There is literally nothing awkward about asking someone to pay you the money they owe you for something you bought them, especially when that was the understanding in the first place.

There have been some good suggestions for wording of texts on this thread. Just use one!

[pinkyredrose]

Just text him saying you need to pay your credit card bill and could he send you the £130 please. What's so awkward about that?

[Rannva]

@Bluntness100

Christ, grow a set, text him and say credit card bill now due, here’s the bank details , please transfer before x date.

How do some of these posters get up in the morning and tie their shoes, I mean honestly.

[Kiduknot]

Please say you’ve sent a text, op.

[GabriellaMontez]

This is a great opportunity to find out early on what sort of guy he is.

[TintinIsBack]

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June.
I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.

If someone should feel awkward, it’s him.

He should have paid you as soon as he was paid.
I’d give the benefit if the doubt this time, but I’d ask him straight for the money.
Please don’t let it go because you feel uncomfortable so he doesn’t have to pay his. £130.

[LalalalalalaLand123]

Completely insane to book tickets for next June when you only started seeing each other a few months ago. But anyway - definitely just tell him your bank details and the amount to transfer, you need to be more confident/assertive OP, just be matter of fact about it.

[Kk789]

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June.
I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.

If you are too shy to ask him to pay his half, don't pay for him again.
Asking him to pay his half shouldn't be awkward. It was already agreed.
If you don't ask, you don't get.