Asking boyfriend of 3 months for money .....

[kelsey44xxx]

Started seeing each other end of July.
Things are going well and we are "official"
Decided to book tickets for a concert next June and they were £130 each.
They fell before our payday so I said I will get them on my credit card and just pay it when the bill comes this month.
He said he would give me the money when he gets paid.

Anyway his pay day came last week and he never offered to pay.
My bill has came and I really don't want to get charged interest.

Aibu to ask him?
I've been dropping subtle hints like ...
Can't wait to see them live next year and
Just listening to this song ..can't wait for next year etc etc but zilch
Nothing

[westcountryboy]

What happens if you split up? One of you will get custody of the tickets or you'll both have to go alone?

Personally, if you can afford to take the financial hit I'd forget about him paying until closer to the time and then if you do split a mate could have the spare?

[PearLime]

He has probs just forgotten.

Just ask in a simple text message.

"Hi x, please could you transfer me £130 for the tickets. Sort code xxxx account number xxx. Thanks speak later xx"

[kelsey44xxx]

I text him and asked him and he apologised and sent the money over straight away.
Also surprised me and he has booked a hotel for us so we don't have to travel home same night.
Worry for nothing

[ChaoBella]

Not sure why on earth this needed a thread to begin with.

OP communication is a really important part of relationships so you need to work on this.

[Leeds2]

@kelsey44xxx

I text him and asked him and he apologised and sent the money over straight away.
Also surprised me and he has booked a hotel for us so we don't have to travel home same night.
Worry for nothing

Result!!

[CandyLeBonBon]

@kelsey44xxx

We became official in July but have been dating since beginning of June.
I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.

Well interest payments that you don't want to pay are pretty awkward, so time for your big girl pants!

[SunscreenCentral]

Great! Watch your boundaries OP, and expect people to treat you well and fairly.

[GoWalkabout]

Well done. Hints are annoying. Dh taught me to just communicate about things and it has made for a very happy marriage!

[PearLime]

@kelsey44xxx

I text him and asked him and he apologised and sent the money over straight away.
Also surprised me and he has booked a hotel for us so we don't have to travel home same night.
Worry for nothing

How lovely!

[WombatChocolate]

Glad it’s sorted.

Part of being in a relationship is you have to communicate and be willing to…..say stuff to each other.

This wasn’t a biggie. It’s so important to actually say what you think/want/need and not expect someone to be a mind reader. Loads of people start projecting what people’s reasons for actions/lack of actions are, and before you know it, they’ve told you to dump him.

Just ask or have the conversation. It’s usually the best way.

Hope you feel more confident to bring things like this up again now you’ve had a positive response.

To be honest, I find it so odd that often people are willing to have sex with each other, or to move in together and yet haven’t reached a stage of basic communication. Relationships are all about communication….much of it dull and boring…asking people to take the bins out, to cook the dinner, to transfer money, to do all kinds of favours. Always ask and never assume your wish is so obvious that they will magically know what it is…therein lies the way of being pissed off with the other and the other having no idea why.

[Talktalkchat]

Offering to pay for half of hotel??

[Durbeyfield]

“I need the money for that ticket from you please”?

[StoatMilk]

@ChaoBella

Not sure why on earth this needed a thread to begin with.

OP communication is a really important part of relationships so you need to work on this.

Crikey talk about condescending

[Mrsmadevans]

Give him the ticket for his birthday /Christmas combined, problem sorted .

[MyPatronusIsACat]

Hmmm I hope it goes well @kelsey44xxx but I have to admit, I wouldn't be booking something for almost a year away, with someone I have been with for 12 weeks. Bit off that you had to ask him for the money too.

Just be careful/be on your guard... Just be careful he doesn't keep 'letting' YOU to pay for stuff.

[IvyM]

A lot of uncalled for meanness around here OP, I'm glad it's all well in the end, I was going to say, usually if I get tickets for something my partner will get the hotel and dinner that day and vice versa.

[BoredZelda]

This would be a red flag for me, it looks like he's dodging paying which I would find a massively unattractive trait.

Or, as has apparently happened, he just forgot.

[coodawoodashooda]

Bet he wouldn't forget if the op owed him money.

[Walkacrossthesand]

I haven't been in a new (any) boyfriend r'ship for many years, but I found a good rule of thumb in the early weeks to be, don't book anything further ahead than the time you've been seeing each other. I do hope that you & he go to the concert together next year, but do consider applying this 'rule' for a bit from now on?

[ellyeth]

Just tell him face-to-face that you need to pay your credit card now or be charged interest so could he let you have the money please. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable about asking - that was the agreement - but you shouldn't have had to ask. Assuming you get the money back, I would still be a bit more wary in future of paying for things.

[Bombaloorina]

In fact, he probably didn’t forget - he paid for the hotel, after all!

Good for him. He was probably assuming it would be a more-or-less equal cost, and was waiting to confirm that.

OP - make sure you check in with him on the hotel cost. You will probably end up just sending him the money back for the ticket!

All’s well that ends well - remember this next time you have to ask him for, or about, something.

[Margerine78]

I'm hoping he's just forgetful and has forgotten you paid for his ticket OP, like others say above, ask him direct for the money and if he doesn't sort it asap than you know he's dodgy with cash as that's red flag #2!

ps. I feel your pain, I hate chasing for money It makes me feel stingy when in fact its the people that don't pay what they owe that are - so just remember that.

[Vixyboo]

I had a similar situation with my partner after a few months. I asked him when he gets a minute could he transfer the money to me. He looked horrified, it had completely left his brain! He thanked me numerous times for reminding him and paid me.

[jakkijax]

I've got a BF of 10 yrs who still tried to get out of paying. Tight arse ... I just send PayPal request. Then I have proof of request and payment or non payment.
Tell him you going to sell his ticket if he doesn't pay as you need the money..

[Wazzzzzzzup]

I'm generally shy and hate awkward situations.

Well then put yourself in them. Either learn to remind people or everyone pays their own