Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are women with husbands so jealous and hurtful towards other single women?

527 replies

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 19:57

Ok. I'm divorced.

I have absolutely ZILCH desire to hook up with a man.

None. Nil. Nichts. Nada.

I have been taking myself out once a week to eat at a local restaurant. Not cheap, but it is the only break I get.

I have noticed that the woman who is mangeress of the restaurant is really off with me and does not seem to be able to accept my presence.

I dress down. For a long time I've not wanted to be noticed by anyone actually. Often I read a book.

Her other half cooks in the kitchen.

Why is it that she insists on being territorial with me, on this one?

Are women so threatened nowadays?

Yes, perhaps her other half has history, but why blame a customer?

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 27/09/2021 17:46

Oh bollocks. I meant Dostoevsky. The irony, given the title I was thinking of!

BobbiPinsOn · 27/09/2021 17:47

Seriously?

Spindrifting · 27/09/2021 17:48

@DrSbaitso

Maybe one by Kafka that I probably shouldn't name.
I don’t get it —?
LikeACatInTheDark · 27/09/2021 17:53

Are you reading The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover, OP?

Rosesareyellow · 27/09/2021 17:56

Why do pigs fly the sky I wonder? Oh wait, they don’t.

ReeseWitherfork · 27/09/2021 17:57

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

There's no chance the woman is jealous of you OP, you seem quite.. what's the word I'm looking for? Ah yeah, nutty.
😂 "nutty" is definitely the word
Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 18:34

I’m afraid to say that I sympathise with the OP because some women are like this. Not all of course.

On Mumsnet women always say the op is wrong about this type of thing because it’s an uncomfortable truth.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 27/09/2021 18:36

@MaenadsJustWannaHaveFun

Did she follow you home and press on your buzzer and all the buzzers in your block of flats?

"I want to talk to you. Hello? Don't hang up on me. I want to talk to you. You keep away from my husband, you understand me? Hello? ANSWER ME. I'm going to tell everybody that walks in this building that in 2R, Rossi, you're nothing but a whore. Is this the superintendent?... Yes, sir, I would like you to know that you have a whore living in 2R. Rossi, Janice Rossi... He's MY husband. Get your own goddamn man."

I love you.
Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 18:44

A lot of the responses on this thread are worse than anything the OP has said.

Why are there so many bullies on MN these days?

FreshFreesias · 27/09/2021 18:44

@user1473878824 Why do you disapprove of women dining on their own?
We are not living in the Middle Ages.

FreshFreesias · 27/09/2021 18:47

@Itsnotover I was wondering the same.
It’s like the Taliban have taken over mumsnet 🤦‍♀️
I must say OP, I sympathise, but there is no way I’d return to a restaurant where I was treated so rudely.

Brindisi32 · 27/09/2021 18:49

I wish there were more places that actively encouraged single women to go in and enjoy a few drinks and a meal. It’s nice to be able to treat yourself on your own and have some quality time in a place where you feel comfy.

Coronawireless · 27/09/2021 18:53

@MaenadsJustWannaHaveFun

Did she follow you home and press on your buzzer and all the buzzers in your block of flats?

"I want to talk to you. Hello? Don't hang up on me. I want to talk to you. You keep away from my husband, you understand me? Hello? ANSWER ME. I'm going to tell everybody that walks in this building that in 2R, Rossi, you're nothing but a whore. Is this the superintendent?... Yes, sir, I would like you to know that you have a whore living in 2R. Rossi, Janice Rossi... He's MY husband. Get your own goddamn man."

I have enjoyed this thread so much. Snorted peppercorn sauce over my keyboard so many times!
Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 18:57

Also there are quite a few female relatives of mine who have said to me that they've experienced the same thing when they were single.

Some people see a woman doing stuff on her own as strange and it makes them suspicious in a way they wouldn't be if she was with a group of women.,

AhNowTed · 27/09/2021 18:57

@Itsnotover

I’m afraid to say that I sympathise with the OP because some women are like this. Not all of course.

On Mumsnet women always say the op is wrong about this type of thing because it’s an uncomfortable truth.

The OP complains about (plural) women with husbands being (allegedly) jealous, but then quotes a solitary example.

That's what posters are annoyed about.

user1473878824 · 27/09/2021 18:59

[quote FreshFreesias]@user1473878824 Why do you disapprove of women dining on their own?
We are not living in the Middle Ages.[/quote]
What are you talking about? I’ve repeatedly said I eat out alone all the time.

user1473878824 · 27/09/2021 19:00

This thread is mental.

chocolateorangeinhaler · 27/09/2021 19:01

I'd say feels threatened. It's not easy being confident enough to eat out alone. Good on you. Women don't support her women that often I've noticed. They might like to say they do. But they don't.

I have an odd theory about it. I think because humans are the least fertile animals on the planet and women only ovulate once per month there is an unspoken expectation to hook up with a man. A single woman is a threat to a woman with a man. If we were all living in caves he may prefer you and leave her to the mercy of the elements. I know we are not living in caves anymore but the survival instincts are deeply inside us and cannot be forgotten. Normally most people can suppress them but in times of anxiety those thoughts rule. It's the lizard brain in control.

Bet if you walked in with a man she would be completely normal with you.

UltimateBugKilla · 27/09/2021 19:03

She is clearly jealous your single and she's stuck married to that cook in the back 😂

Whatever it is, it's her problem, enjoy your meal!

Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 19:03

Bet if you walked in with a man she would be completely normal with you.

Yes, it with another woman or group of friends.

LukeEvansWife · 27/09/2021 19:10

Yeah because she gives the OP that much headspace Grin

user1473878824 · 27/09/2021 19:12

OP was sitting in a restaurant trying to speak to the chef about her book in the middle of dinner service. The owner was annoyed but didn’t say anything because she’s a customer.

It’s literally that simple.

Bimblybomeyelash · 27/09/2021 19:22

Oo this is an interesting thread. I’m just popping of to reddit.

BigFatLiar · 27/09/2021 19:34

Perhaps she thinks you are after him as you're there regularly.

Men wouldn't be treated like that.

OH doesn't dine out on his own, thinks service for single diners (they don't actually know your unmarried just you're on your own) is pretty poor. He usually got the table in awkward places, too small to spread out the dishes and would find the waiter by his side waiting for him to eat and leave. I don't think its a male/female thing more a case of single diners are an inconvenience for some restaurants.

If it bothers you try a few others until you find one where you're happy with the food and the service.

Sunshineonmars · 27/09/2021 19:35

@Itsnotover

Also there are quite a few female relatives of mine who have said to me that they've experienced the same thing when they were single.

Some people see a woman doing stuff on her own as strange and it makes them suspicious in a way they wouldn't be if she was with a group of women.,

I'm sure they have, but the op hasn't really given us much to go off in terms of the married woman's behaviour, just a series of incoherent responses to questions.