Why are women with husbands so jealous and hurtful towards other single women?

[beigebrownblue]

Ok. I'm divorced.

I have absolutely ZILCH desire to hook up with a man.

None. Nil. Nichts. Nada.

I have been taking myself out once a week to eat at a local restaurant. Not cheap, but it is the only break I get.

I have noticed that the woman who is mangeress of the restaurant is really off with me and does not seem to be able to accept my presence.

I dress down. For a long time I've not wanted to be noticed by anyone actually. Often I read a book.

Her other half cooks in the kitchen.

Why is it that she insists on being territorial with me, on this one?

Are women so threatened nowadays?

Yes, perhaps her other half has history, but why blame a customer?

Not sure where you've got the "these posters are territorial and believe their husbands are their property" from?
Perhaps you could highlight the actual posts?

Agreed!

tbf OP your thread title is a bit goady, it reads like you think all women with husbands are jealous of single women which obviously is no where near true. Sure there are insecure women (and men) out there but they are in the minority

GreyhoundG1rl, You can find them for yourself. To be honest, I got to half way down page 1 (this thread has 5 pages for me), scrolled right back up and just highlighted the OP's posts to read.

I was expecting to read some sort of posting by a vamp, actively seeking to seduce this woman's husband by way of ordering tasty food on a regular basis. I couldn't see any of that, not anywhere in the OP's posts but I could see accusations a-plenty from posters on page 1. I couldn't stomach any more so didn't bother and, if OP hasn't said it, where are posters getting this information from anyway?

OP's perhaps guilty of writing a title that's a bit generalising but she sounds really, really fed up. I would be too and I'd be finding a better place to hand over my money to.

GreyhoundG1rl, You can find them for yourself

Can you? I can't.

GreyhoundG1rl, You can find them for yourself.
Well, no, I can't. Which is why I asked the question... Bit much to make such a sweeping statement and then refuse to back it up, really 🤷🏻‍♀️
Or maybe you just can't?

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

I've read all your posts, OP. I'm struggling to see what her husband has to do with this? You're not doing anything wrong other than patronising their restaurant which presumably they want you to do?

I'm not at all surprised to see that so many posters have lashed out at you. I don't know if the restaurant lady is territorial but, these posters certainly are. It's a bit pathetic but it's life, some women really are like this, under the misconception that their husband is their property rather than a sentient being in their own right who cannot be stolen...

If the restaurant owner is 'off' with you and you want to give her the time of day then ask her if there's a problem. Listen to what she says and explain - once. If it keeps happening then don't go back there, find another lovely place where you'll be appreciated.

She doesn't want to find another restaurant. She wants to claim her space, apparently.

It would have helped if it hadn't taken 3 or more pages of strange replies from her before she said that she'd been chatting to the chef about her book.
Bizarre, aggressive drip feeds just wind people up. Presumably people post for a response so it's irritating when the OP is purposely obtuse.
Her original point - yep. Seen it with my mum's friends and my dad's dead mot divorced! It happens.
The restaurant scenario- odd

TwinsandTrifle, Why is this thread (currently) at 455 posts? Is it because the OP has committed some sort of faux pas? I can't see that anywhere in her posts. Or, is it because it is perceived by quite-a-lot-of-posters that OP is thinking too much of herself?

OP has posted an attention-seeking title to the thread but her posts are really clear - or they are to me. She perceives that she is being considered a threat to this woman's relationship somehow - whilst making it absolutely crystal that she has no interest in anything but eating there.

Yet this thread is almost half full of posters (at least on page 1) putting the OP straight about things she hasn't said.

If you can't find any examples yourself then, you can't. Page 1 was enough for me and I felt strongly enough about it to post in OP's support... some 455 posts in. Think about it.

OP... if you're still reading. Find another place to eat. Don't forget your sack-cloth clothing and a paper bag for your head.

OP has posted an attention-seeking title to the thread but her posts are really clear - or they are to me.
Just you, I think.

Well this has deteriorated hasn't it?

OP I am very happily single. I travel and eat out alone quite often. I have never had this problem.

So I think you have taken this one instance of a very jealous woman and generalised it to ALL MARRIED WOMEN for some reason?

Maybe her husband the chef is a total womanising knobhead and she has taken to policing his every conversation rather than telling him to fuck off? Whatever is going on here, it's about them, and specifically about them.

If you challenge the manager, you will look a bit odd.

She perceives that she is being considered a threat to this woman's relationship somehow

And she makes this assumption on the fact that the woman has said the chef's her husband. That's all the restaurant woman has done. Acknowledged her husband.

whilst making it absolutely crystal that she has no interest in anything but eating there.

Well, this is what she says initially, and people at first can't work out the dynamic at all. Her following posts are bizarre half sentence drip feeds. It then takes three pages for her to reveal that she chats to the chef about her book. I can certainly speak for myself when I say on no occasion when I've ever give out for dinner have I taken a book and chatted to the chef about it as general practice. Let alone repeat this each week. That's not part of a meal out. So to initially portray she's just getting on with her meal and can't understand why she's drawn attention to herself is very transparent.

Either way, she's pissed this woman off because of what could be a variety of things. Unfounded or not. Still most likely that she keeps taking a table for two then sits there reading, than anything else. But rather than just go elsewhere, where the service isn't moody, OP pretends she needs to "claim her space" and deliberately returns week in week out. With her book to chat to the chef. She sounds like hard work.

I want to know what the book is

Maybe go to a different restaurant where the service is better?

Maybe the OP doesn't leave a big enough tip.

Single women often get shit treatment. From both men and women. Hope you can find somewhere else to eat.

Perhaps the chef is using you as a prop to wind up his wife with - "ooh I wonder if my favourite customer will come in tonight, she's got her eye on me"
Why automatically blame the woman?
Patriarchy in action.

Op you are getting this reaction because you haven't actually described what took place. You simply claimed married women are threatened by you.

If you described a situation where the chef came and spoke to you briefly and was immediately followed by his hostile wife to presumably warn you off then you may have gotten a different reaction.

As a previous longtime single woman I did encounter this from time to time, it was exhausting and stressful.

I am now attached and do not behave like this so feel a little offended by the all married women are jealous of me suggestion.

What actually happened?

Or is your name Samantha Brick?

Front of house staffcare only about tips and if they are managers, turnover.
Thisis such a weird post
*have absolutely ZILCH desire to hook up with a man.

None. Nil. Nichts. Nada.*

Methinks the lady doth protest too much!

My guess is that the OP orders their steak (with peppercorn sauce natch) well done.

OP can I recommend orange juice with your meal? Vitamin C will help you to absorb the iron.

I suspect the op didn get the responses she was envisaging. There are a small minority of posters who always want to be the ops BFF and agree with whatever is written no matter how outlandish or use it as a tool just so they can tell their own story even though the story is not the same..Ie my mate distanced her self is not similar to a random manageress who is not your mate

Generally people read what’s written though and can apply critical thought. What the op wrote was basically the chef fancies her and the manageress is threatened by her and he must have cheated on her before. So of course people are going to say exactly how did you come to that conclusion?

And of course it’s an esteem boosting conclusion. She’s not happily married, she envies me, he must fancy me more than her, she’s threatened by me. I’m so so much more than she is.

Much more self esteem boosting than ,,I’m a pita customer who she can’t be arsed with,

@waybill

I want to know what the book is

The Neverending Story?

One few over the cuckoos nest, more like it.

So now I really want a steak with peppercorn sauce 🥺

Maybe one by Kafka that I probably shouldn't name.