Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are women with husbands so jealous and hurtful towards other single women?

527 replies

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 19:57

Ok. I'm divorced.

I have absolutely ZILCH desire to hook up with a man.

None. Nil. Nichts. Nada.

I have been taking myself out once a week to eat at a local restaurant. Not cheap, but it is the only break I get.

I have noticed that the woman who is mangeress of the restaurant is really off with me and does not seem to be able to accept my presence.

I dress down. For a long time I've not wanted to be noticed by anyone actually. Often I read a book.

Her other half cooks in the kitchen.

Why is it that she insists on being territorial with me, on this one?

Are women so threatened nowadays?

Yes, perhaps her other half has history, but why blame a customer?

OP posts:
MeredithGreyishblue · 27/09/2021 19:38

When you want to make a point about a particular issue but you have no evidence to back it up so you manipulate one...

The premise is real.

However chucking around phrases like "claiming space", "misogyny" and the other flags she's waved around a tale of the woman both welcoming her and also not accepting her presence (whatever the fuck that means), with frankly peculiar drip feeds about iron deficiency and being local, then people are going to be lacking in patience.

If she'd just said, "I'm single and I feel like people give me a wide berth", then there's something to discuss.

This strange vitriol over the staff of a restaurant that simultaneously love and hate her has undermined her "solidarity sister" vibe.

user1473878824 · 27/09/2021 20:30

@beigebrownblue

Interesting reactions. If sad. And internalised misogyny. Very, very sad.
I can’t stop seeing Donald Trump’s face
Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 20:34

I think the OP is gone. Who can blame her Hmm

The vitriol and bitching on this thread was uncalled for. But hey, if it makes you snort into your keyboard and feel proud of yourself(!)

Spidey66 · 27/09/2021 20:37

The OP was pretty ridiculous though....completely deluded!

Staffy1 · 27/09/2021 20:38

@beigebrownblue

And I have an iron deficiency. Which is why I eat the steak.
Go for liver once a week, that’s the best way to build iron without supplementing.
Mandy8888 · 27/09/2021 20:45

I assume dress down means attire that her husband likes? And she isn't happy because she can't trust her husband? If so that's not your problem but do we have full story as I don't understand why that would be a problem as its business to her

Wrenna · 27/09/2021 20:49

I’m married and certainly not jealous of single women just like I’m certain they aren’t jealous of me.

Frazzledmummy123 · 27/09/2021 20:52

@Itsnotover

I think the OP is gone. Who can blame her Hmm

The vitriol and bitching on this thread was uncalled for. But hey, if it makes you snort into your keyboard and feel proud of yourself(!)

While some of the replies on here have indeed been quite nasty (and agreed, some were uncalled for), the op hasn't exactly covered herself in any glory herself. She has refused to elaborate on why she feels the woman was off with her because she is single, and been quite blunt and rude in her posts.
twoandeights · 27/09/2021 20:54

I’m guessing that her husband has form for sleeping around. How sad that she spends her life suspicious of other women. If I was you then I’d find another restaurant to eat in where they treat you well. Don’t keep giving her your money

LizzieW1969 · 27/09/2021 21:10

While some of the replies on here have indeed been quite nasty (and agreed, some were uncalled for), the op hasn't exactly covered herself in any glory herself.

^This with bells on. Particularly one comment about women getting murdered, which was particularly inappropriate right now. It got very unpleasant on both sides last night, unfortunately.

Bluntness100 · 27/09/2021 21:11

@twoandeights

I’m guessing that her husband has form for sleeping around. How sad that she spends her life suspicious of other women. If I was you then I’d find another restaurant to eat in where they treat you well. Don’t keep giving her your money
What! How can you guess that! 😂😂😂
SisterJude · 27/09/2021 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 21:15

While some of the replies on here have indeed been quite nasty (and agreed, some were uncalled for), the op hasn't exactly covered herself in any glory herself. She has refused to elaborate on why she feels the woman was off with her because she is single, and been quite blunt and rude in her posts.

So what if she was blunt and didn't elaborate much? That's not a justifiable reason for people to be so vile to her. It's like being back at school. No wonder children are horrible to each other of their parents set examples like this.

I get very triggered by bullying as I was victimised at school.

LukeEvansWife · 27/09/2021 21:16

So what if she was blunt and didn't elaborate much? That's not a justifiable reason for people to be so vile to her. It's like being back at school. No wonder children are horrible to each other of their parents set examples like this.

OP has been snotty to PPs throughout - it's not bullying when both sides are doing it

LukeEvansWife · 27/09/2021 21:17

I'm sorry you were triggered but AIBU isn't the board to go on in that case as it usually descends into this

WomanStanleyWoman · 27/09/2021 21:45

@SomebodysMum

Maybe it’s nothing to do with being threatened.

Maybe it’s just because you’re regularly taking up a table which could be used by 2 people (could be couple, friends, siblings, whatever) so she’s making less money from the table than she would if there were 2 x meals and drinks to charge for?

Yeah, it’s not enough that single people get an amazing 25% discount on what 100% more people (often plus kids) pay in council tax, and get stuck with single room supplements on holiday; we should be paying extra for our dinner too.
WomanStanleyWoman · 27/09/2021 21:46

@SisterJude

I'll just be off to check the other forum to see what's been said about this thread.

Also, manageress? Really? Is that your internalised misogyny showing there?

🙄🙄🙄
Cuck00soup · 27/09/2021 22:02

@Itsnotover

I think the OP is gone. Who can blame her Hmm

The vitriol and bitching on this thread was uncalled for. But hey, if it makes you snort into your keyboard and feel proud of yourself(!)

I think the OP has probably sobered up.

Or gone back to school.

Frazzledmummy123 · 27/09/2021 22:03

@Itsnotover

While some of the replies on here have indeed been quite nasty (and agreed, some were uncalled for), the op hasn't exactly covered herself in any glory herself. She has refused to elaborate on why she feels the woman was off with her because she is single, and been quite blunt and rude in her posts.

So what if she was blunt and didn't elaborate much? That's not a justifiable reason for people to be so vile to her. It's like being back at school. No wonder children are horrible to each other of their parents set examples like this.

I get very triggered by bullying as I was victimised at school.

I am sorry you were victimised at school, and that you perceived my comment to be justifying the vile comments, I genuinely wasn't. I did point out that some were uncalled for.

People gave their opinion based on the (vague) information provided by the op which without background or clarification given on why she thought this, didn't look good on her as nobody understood (and I say it again, there was no excuse for those being nasty about it).

Then she gave back a bit of attitude in subsequent posts including countless remarks about mysogyny, etc, and also made quite an inappropriate remark in another later comment. This is why I said she hasn't covered herself in any glory.

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 27/09/2021 22:23

The sarcastic flippant comment about women shouldn’t leave the house because they’ll be murdered is vile. Have you not seen the news this week?

Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 22:28

@LukeEvansWife

I'm sorry you were triggered but AIBU isn't the board to go on in that case as it usually descends into this
MN has said many times that AIBU is not an excuse to give the OP a kicking.
Anon778833 · 27/09/2021 22:29

@YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj

The sarcastic flippant comment about women shouldn’t leave the house because they’ll be murdered is vile. Have you not seen the news this week?
Let’s not be disingenuous here. People on MN enjoy being nasty and that’s why threads descend into this. I haven’t seen the news this week because I don’t watch TV. Maybe the OP didn’t either?
Darkchocolateandcoffee · 27/09/2021 22:34

I'm married and very confident about my husband. Please don't tar all married women with the same brush - I'm sure there are lots like me who don't feel remotely threatened by single women

toconclude · 27/09/2021 22:41

@Susannahmoody

Howling at the blaming the op for having the audacity to eat out alone. Some of the responses on here are incredible
Except not a single poster has said that. They have pointed out the economics from the pov of the restaurant. But howl away if it makes you feel superior.
LukeEvansWife · 27/09/2021 22:48

MN has said many times that AIBU is not an excuse to give the OP a kicking

Correct but when posters are being twattish or rude, they will get called out on it

Swipe left for the next trending thread