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Original poster

Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

384 replies

VitalsStable · 26/09/2021 10:42

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

OP posts:
Chocolatehamper · 27/09/2021 21:39

@lorca

Oh I've seen this so often, it's not noteworthy any more.

I had 3 builders come out to quote for an extension to MY house, DP was here as interested. One guy talked at DP the whole time; if I asked a question, he paused just long enough to make the point that he's ignoring me, then answered to DP. Angry
Seen it with car sales too.
Window salesmen - ask to come at a time when the 'whole family' (ie the MAN) is home.

It's my house, my decision and my money. Angry

Years ago, I used to be a double glazing salesperson and the amount of times the male householder was put on the back foot when he opened the door to ... a woman!

Worked very well in my favour though, working on commission, I made a lot of money in that job. They found it a lot more difficult to say no and the majority of wives were so chuffed to see their husbands shuffling because they couldn't work out how to say no, so just said yes!

Overtired201984 · 27/09/2021 21:50

I think your being a snowflake really , it’s just a bit of pointless small talk - I’m sure the guy meant absolutely nothing by it . How can this annoy you ?

Chocolatehamper · 27/09/2021 21:51

@anonymousanne

I had a company cold call to offer a conservatory roof quote (which I had actually been considering). He asked if my DH was home 🙄🤔 I said no he's at work but I'm happy to receive a quote. Originally they were going to call the next morning but called shortly after to ask if they could come later that evening, he asked on the phone if DH would be there for the appointment too and seemed put out when I said he may be depending on his arrival home from work 🙄🤔 Guy turned up, I dealt with him while DH was running around after 2DCs, he tried to put pressure on me to make a decision there and then or lose out on a 'deal'. Said I needed to think about it. He called the office while I was there to say we needed a call back in a few days as I had been offered a cold call and my DH had just got home from work, knew nothing about it, didn't even know that I had requested a call 🙄🤔 I have no idea why all three people i spoke to were so intent on getting my DH views on it as he will be the first to say I am very much the decision maker in the household and manage all the finances (we earn similar salaries- not that that matters!). They clearly thought it would all be just too complicated for my little blonde lady brain to grasp 🙄🙄 They had terrible reviews anyway and after the appalling 1940s attitude they wouldn't have been getting my money anyway... but I am glad I've got a ballpark figure of what a roof would cost as it's on my list for next year - with another company, naturally!
When you do get the next company out, they will also push to sign on the dotted line that night. That's how they work, the salesperson isn't allowed to leave until they have a signature.

If you keep saying you don't know, they will 'phone their manager' to discount it down - they'll take out their discount, their manager's discount, the store's discount... if you're sure you want to purchase - push until you get the very best price out of them! Wink

Overtired201984 · 27/09/2021 21:52

@Mckmck123
Totally agree with you , why is everyone so over sensitive - you can’t say anything these days.

Overtired201984 · 27/09/2021 21:55

@Chumleymouse

Your comment has killed me laughing 😂

I first read it and thought oh here we go another complainer , wanting to get people sacked then …… you made me LOL 👍🏻

Blossomtoes · 27/09/2021 21:58

[quote Overtired201984]@Chumleymouse

Your comment has killed me laughing 😂

I first read it and thought oh here we go another complainer , wanting to get people sacked then …… you made me LOL 👍🏻[/quote]
Made me laugh too.

peppermintpat · 27/09/2021 21:59

Good grief. I would have laughed at that not got all shirty. Some people really have had a sense of humour by pass. Give the guy a break and try not to get him the sack to make yourself feel better Angry

LassFromHaweswater · 27/09/2021 22:02

@TeeBee

I now have stock answers for this type of crap. 'You're joking sweetie. He couldn't afford my lifestyle, he's only a postman'.
I like your style!
CallmeBadJanet · 27/09/2021 22:14

@VitalsStable Dob him in to Royal Mail. Completely inappropriate. Sexist fucker!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 27/09/2021 22:21

I would cringe, because it would be true.😏

Fiveunder5 · 27/09/2021 22:47

He is only Joking! It’s just banter! I would have just laughed and said yeh yeh yeh! Smile

Sunshinelover2 · 27/09/2021 23:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Miisty · 28/09/2021 01:00

Got men still need a lot of educating in life .I’m sure they are brought up like it in their growing up it’s going to take years to change attitudes .Like going to work for pin money was my late father in laws attitude I told him I’d never worked for pin money in my life and i earned more than his son more or less all his life .Also when you have a baby why were you expected to give up a good career you had worked hard for

ThinWomansBrain · 28/09/2021 01:05

could have been my brother, a SAHD or...
Or your DH could be abusive, controlling... and postman's inappropriate and unfunny comments could have put you at risk.

make a formal complaint

Darlingx · 28/09/2021 06:28

Funny isn’t it the dual salary and working mother has been accepted but the concepts haven’t changed. Shopping again for the family heaven forbid. My mother had this in the 60’s ‘Oh she looks expensive’ as in high maintenance. When she went around collecting the cheques from my father’s unpaying clients with us kids in tow they would quip You’ll be off shopping then.My mother wasn’t afraid to play bad cop and actually played up the comments to the ridiculous because she knew the digs were there to belittle her power. So she used to joke that she was off to shop in Harrods upon collecting the overdue cheque because even a chore like shopping couldn’t dent her power. She had the guts to get people to pay whats due and she knew it. What she spend the household income on was evident by who was picking up that cheque. She earnt any money she spent believe me and prided herself on never having any debt. That Postman is evidently presenting himself as a complete fool and underestimate the power of a woman shopping. He would be out of a job for starters. He better hope we all don’t switch to shopping on foot but of course the reason he is delivering is because most women now work and shop online and maybe he wasn’t smart enough to get that.

dustyparadeground · 28/09/2021 07:04

Having just done 10 months as an Amazon courier, i can tell you you are over thinking this. You can be a little bit cross if you want but he wants a little contact and was trying to be funny.

GloomAndDoom · 28/09/2021 07:17

@dustyparadeground

Having just done 10 months as an Amazon courier, i can tell you you are over thinking this. You can be a little bit cross if you want but he wants a little contact and was trying to be funny.
He can be a little funny without making sexist comments
Mollymoostoo · 28/09/2021 07:47

My husband and in laws say this all the time. I don't waste my time justifying my full time salary, I just tell him if he doesn't want to support his family we can split up. He soon shuts up.

Cardiffwales · 28/09/2021 09:33

Completely unacceptable and needs reporting. It’s 2021!

Whatamess582 · 28/09/2021 10:07

it depresses me how so many responses here (I’m assuming by women) are similarly confused as to why you would get even a little irritated by this.

I wonder if he would ever think to say ‘he’s spending your money again’ to a woman. No. Most likely not. It’s the micro-irritations like this that make being a woman so exhausting sometimes.

Blossomtoes · 28/09/2021 10:40

It’s the micro-irritations like this that make being a woman so exhausting sometimes

Only if you let them. It’s not exhausting at all if you let it blissfully float over your head. It’s the reaction that’s exhausting, I honestly have no idea where anyone gets the energy.

HesterShaw1 · 28/09/2021 10:49

@Blossomtoes

It’s the micro-irritations like this that make being a woman so exhausting sometimes

Only if you let them. It’s not exhausting at all if you let it blissfully float over your head. It’s the reaction that’s exhausting, I honestly have no idea where anyone gets the energy.

As long as women allow things like this to blissfully float above their head Hmm then nothing will change for them and their sisters, daughters, nieces, stepdaughters etc etc.

Bullshit like this needs to be challenged. None of this "It is what it is" bollocks.

starrynight87 · 28/09/2021 10:59

I hate stuff like this, didn't ask for your comments mate.

toconclude · 28/09/2021 11:01

@hulahooper2

I’m sure it was a jocular comment , you are overthinking this
It's not fucking funny and you are underthinking. Possibly in general.
Blossomtoes · 28/09/2021 11:07

It won’t change anyway @HesterShaw1, however much fuss some women make about it. All that does is make its perpetrators roll their eyes and make stupid remarks about feminism. It’s not worth getting exhausted over.