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Original poster

Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

384 replies

VitalsStable · 26/09/2021 10:42

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

OP posts:
CityCommuter · 26/09/2021 18:30

I wonder does the postie know that he's made it onto Mumsnet and maybe even the Daily Mail yet? He might recognise himself and make sure he watches what he says in future!

DrRamsesEmerson · 26/09/2021 19:04

[quote Saladovercrispsanyday]@DrRamsesEmerson

Bollox that YOU are the lead passenger and YOUR email and yet they address correspondence to your husband

Pure fiction[/quote]
Why is it that if you haven’t experienced something you instantly leap to ‘it cannot have happened ‘? It may not happen to everyone (there may be some other factor apart from sex), but it’s happened to me. And yes, it’s infuriating to get an email to my inbox that isn’t actually addressed properly to me.

VanGoSunflowers · 26/09/2021 19:21

Loving that someone tried to pass this off as irony and clear doesn’t know what irony actually is…

OhGiveUp · 26/09/2021 19:22

I also find it hard to believe that anyone gets an email addressed to anyone but themselves, given that the company don't even know your marital status unless you told them
That's like receiving an envelope with your name and address on it, but the actual letter inside being addressed to someone else.

DrRamsesEmerson · 26/09/2021 19:25

I know. I’m not defending it (obviously), I can’t explain it, but it definitely happened. A friend had the same thing but with her teenage DS.

DrRamsesEmerson · 26/09/2021 19:27

And I never give DH’s name to booking.com when I book hotels for us as a family now,, because more often than not the hotel then sends emails to my account but addressed to DH. It’s both incredibly sexist and incredibly stupid.

OhWhyNot · 26/09/2021 19:30

Not a very funny joke

I wouldn’t take it seriously

90sgirls · 26/09/2021 20:09

@OrangeJuiceAndNoodles

I couldn't get wound up by this. I get why it's annoying though.

It's amazing that people are still out there thinking all women are SAHMs.

I hate this shit.

Oh and excuse me but I AM a SAHM but when I buy something I too am not spending my husbands money thank you very much! I work bloody hard for my family and without what I do we wouldn't have the income we have! Everything in this household belongs to both of us, take a look at the law!
Another SAHM basher 🙄

VanGoSunflowers · 26/09/2021 20:29

Oh and excuse me but I AM a SAHM but when I buy something I too am not spending my husbands money thank you very much! I work bloody hard for my family and without what I do we wouldn't have the income we have! Everything in this household belongs to both of us, take a look at the law!

I was going to say this, actually. That even if the OP isn’t earning and DH is, it’s still not just ‘his’ money.
I say this as someone who outearns my DH.

Giggorata · 27/09/2021 14:30

All the women who are buying into that this this tired sexism is “banter”. Sigh.

As for being wound up by it, it's more that I am worn down and bored by it.
It's all so predictable, repetitive and just adds one more tiny bit to the huge drip drip effect.

And I repeat, silence gives consent.
And there are ways of addressing it quite reasonably, without straying into yet another tired old stereotyped the assertive woman, the strident harridan.

Giggorata · 27/09/2021 14:31

Don't know where that extra d came from, stereotype.

Echobelly · 27/09/2021 16:27

I just have to say @OhGiveUp that, even though I do think op has good point, I love the expression 'not letting my arse chew my knickers ' Grin Going to have to use that one!

Hadjab · 27/09/2021 17:14

I get this loads, mainly from utility companies and my daughter’s school, which she been at for three years.

Hadjab · 27/09/2021 17:15

@Hadjab

I get this loads, mainly from utility companies and my daughter’s school, which she been at for three years.
As in emails being addressed to Mr
LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 27/09/2021 17:34

Nope!!! I’d have been chasing him down the street to give him an earful!!! How bloody rude!!!!

ddl1 · 27/09/2021 17:37

It is a silly and sexist joke, but on its own I wouldn't be too upset by it. Especially with the 18 months or so that postal and delivery workers have had, I'd make quite a few allowances. However, the part that really is unforgivable is implying to your husband that you have been going behind his back on the matter. 95% of husbands would know that this is ridiculous and ignore it or laugh at it, but the postman can't possibly know who is in the remaining 5%, who may be financially a abusive and controlling and may be encouraged to jump to false and damaging conclusions.

Wowyouareboring · 27/09/2021 17:48

It’s a joke

Dacquoise · 27/09/2021 17:49

Not just men who buy into this everyday sexism. Always remember the 'friend' who tried to shame me for buying myself an outfit for an event when I was splitting up with my ex husband. Told me I was spending 'his' money, sigh.

Iwtwab12bow · 27/09/2021 17:54

I'm afraid you will have to report him to the postal services. My daughter had a similar experience she complained and he was moved to another round

THEDEACON · 27/09/2021 17:55

This type of "joke needs calling out every single time otherwise this everyday sexism will still be happening to our children and theirs!

Roxy69 · 27/09/2021 17:56

@ItsNotMeAnymore

This wouldn’t bother me, it’s mildly annoying but just a joke.
It was just a throwaway line, soon no-one will dare talk to anyone else in case they get the hump. Lighten up.
Ineke · 27/09/2021 17:57

I made an appointment with a gas engineer to discuss boiler and gas leak problems. I knew what I wanted and had all the facts to hand. All DIY and repairs in the house are left to me. I was in conversation with said engineer when my DH appeared and joined us to hear the discussion.Engineer switched his attention to DH, and completely cut me out of the conversation. Needless to say he didn’t get the job. Male chauvinism is everywhere, but hopefully not so much in the younger generations.

ThePenIsBlue · 27/09/2021 18:10

There was a new shop in our local town that I saw on Saturday morning that looked quite nice - I’ll have to pop in there when it opens, I thought. Then, 30 mins later I walked past again, it had opened and it had a sign outside that said: “your husband called, and he said you can buy whatever you want” or something to that effect. I am quite laid back about things but this really really wound me up. Wtaf? I didn’t go in on principle…..

skippink · 27/09/2021 18:13

Me and my husband work together as window cleaners and I have so many men who are customers who won’t give me the money as they say that it’s best not to give money to women as they will spend it all.
Was annoyed at first but now realise that some men won’t ever change

SunshineCake1 · 27/09/2021 18:16

@toomuchlaundry

I am teaching my teenage son that sexist 'banter' is not okay. Am I wrong in doing this?

All the threads on here saying we need to bring up our sons to respect females, and to call out their mates when they don't, is that wrong too?

Do you really think you are wrong or are your virtue signally or lacking in self confidence?[confused{