To be surprised at some of the shoes parents but their kids in?

[Availableforbaking]

Donning my tin hat and prepared to be told I’m highly unreasonable but here goes!

AIBU to be surprised at some of the shoes parents put their young DC in? Recently looking at the pile of shoes by a bouncy castle and saw several pairs of very uncomfy looking “ballet pump” type shoes or plastic flip flops, very few “proper” Clarks or StartRite type shoes.

A friend just passed me a bag of hand me downs for DD with several pairs of shoes in it, most of them felt like they would be really uncomfortable, eg very hard backs etc. I can’t imagine putting DD in any of them and will probably put them in the shoe recycling bin.

Another friend bought her DD some really hard flip flops from Accessorize as her main summer shoes. They would have given me blisters in minutes.

I’m not judging anyone who is trying their best for their DC and genuinely can’t afford better - the friends I have referred to are both wealthy and can definitely afford shoes.

I know brand new Clarks / StartRite are very expensive and fully appreciate not everyone can afford them - indeed I keep a close look on secondhand sites myself and have found several pairs of Clarks / StartRite that are immaculate (literally worn once or not at all) for cheap prices. I take DD to get feet measured & check shoes fit her properly.

90% of mine & my DC wardrobe is cheap second hand but I do feel proper shoes are important.

I also appreciate shoes from other cheaper shops may be just as good as Clarks etc - I’m just more shocked at the style/type of shoes I’m seeing, like I say lots of hard uncomfy looking ballet type shoes that offer no support.

I have an adult friend who has terrible feet due to ill fitting shoes as a child (her mother let her wear heels as a child in the 80s!) so it’s something I’ve very aware of.

If they were by a bouncy castle was it at a party? Mine would wear ballet flats to a party, but have ‘proper’ shoes for day to day life.
I don’t buy from Clarks though, their shoes are awful quality now.

We spend a small fortune in top-of-the-range footwear as me and both DD have flat feet. We also use custom orthotics.

I am part shocked/part envious of people who get away with cheap footwear - more adults than kids as I feel kids outgrow shoes so quickly that I can see why some parents might not want to splurge on the 3rd or 4th pair of the season.

I work in a school and it drives me mad when girls (it's always the girls) are put, by parents who can afford to buy them shoes that actually fit, into shoes they literally fall out of when they run. We're the ones who have to swoop in with ice packs and plasters. It's not fair on the DC.

Slip on cheap shoes at a bouncy castle party are a good idea so they can get them on and off quickly and not heartbreaking if they get lost.

I'd direct your anger to the shoe manufacturer Clark's, have you seen their range of girls shoes?

For younger girls 9 times out of 10 its these ballet style shoes with a velcro strap. No good for winter and not especially sturdy.

Clarke’s shows are awful, terrible quality and downright ugly. I spent £50 on a pair for DD and they fell apart, the £10 Asda no scuffs lasted so much longer.
Kickers are crap too, again they fall apart.
Her DMs now, absolutely indestructible!

I’m currently buying DC his first shoes. I couldn’t get over the price of them! But I agree good shoes are important so I’m sticking with it.

ballet pumps are great shoes, many of the shoes people describe as "proper" are terrible shoes, based on misguided research of the 70's and 80's about how the foot develops. Support is not something a normal developing foot necessarily wants.

many "clarks" shoes as second hand shoes are likely worse than ballet pumps as they shape to the foot, if you want to go second hand shoes, then going for barefoot / minimalist brands are the way to go - as they are flexible enough to fit any shoe.

The response to the peak "bad shoe" of the 80's that your friend has, is not more support, it's less.

I agree somewhat op. I think things like flip flops, sliders, jelly shoes, ballet pumps, crocs etc are fine in short bursts ie not walking long distances in them for the garden, beach etc.

For walking, school etc. They need good shoes and they don't have to be expensive.

When I had my first child, my son I never give it much thought tbh. I think boys tend to wear trainers anyway which are good for the feet usually.

When I had my girl it was a whole different story. I thought I was going to be buying her cute dainty shoes but she was diagnosed with hyper mobility and low muscle tone and didn't walk until 2. She was barefoot mainly until this point. It give me a a huge insight on shoes. She needs good shoes for stability.

But the good shoes aren't necessarily the most expensive like Clark's, start rite. Sometimes they fit Dd badly especially Clark's. M&S are terrible shoes too. Dd tends to live in Nike trainers which fit her amazingly or winter boots from verdbaudet! Canvas shoes, pumps, crocs etc etc are a no for her unless it's for very short periods.

My dc was in start rite for first couple of years of walking. Lovely shoes and I felt like we were really looking after her feet but so expensive, and grown out of before worn out hardly at all.

This summer she's been wearing marks and Spencer's trainers or crocs every day. Just ordered some more M&S trainers for £19 instead of about £40 for start rite.

I boycott Clark's now due to the ridiculous gendered impractical shoes. Also made me want to puke last year when girls school shoes had the style name "Dolly Babe".

I always had “proper” shoes as a child and I still have Teri le problems with my feet as an adult, so although shoes need to be supportive and fit properly they certainly don’t need to be from Clark’s or start rite. I wouldn’t allow my dd to wear ballet flats because they are proven to be bad for feet, but otherwise as long as kids can play in them and they don’t cause blisters then I don’t see the problem.

DD has just started primary school and I must say I have noticed lots of little girls in her class wearing slip on slipper type shoes with a little heel and a thin strap across the foot.

I hate Clark’s shoes to be honest. My kids only wear barefoot friendly shoes. We wear all second hand clothes though and do stuff others would really judge me on.

To each their own.

What flummoxes me is that parents send their dc to school with shoes that they can't manage to put on or off themselves or that have laces when they can't tie laces.

To add to my pp. I think wearing casual shoes for a bouncy castle party is perfect to get them
On and off with ease. we took dc to bouncy castles the other day in their trainers. Pain to take trainers on and off constantly as grass was soaked. Ballet shoes, flip flops etc would have been perfect. As I said those type of shoes are fine for short periods just not for walking far in!

@Availableforbaking not sure what to say. I see your point, mine wear Clarke's for school. But out of school and in the holidays it's either unbranded trainers or flip flops because we live at the beach. They have geox trainers and geox sandals but I'm not sure if they are up there with Clarke's or Startrite

I think Clark's/Startrite have such a powerful brand and effective marketing that any parent who doesn't buy their shoes feels a sense of guilt.

Apart from the 'first' pair of Clark's shoes I never bought those brands, my DS had 'sensible type' shoes (but from a supermarket) or trainers and never had any issues at all, plays sport at a high level etc.

Clarks shoes are utterly useless for us! Wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. The fitters don't seem to know how to check fit. The shoes stink of glue, fall apart in a week or two of play.

My 5 and 7 year old boys live in sketchers . They absolutely love them , we just buy black trainer ones for school

It's there choice but according to them that's the comfiest shoes

I always take them to a proper independent children's shoe shop that sticks the likes of geox, start rite and sketches etc and hands down they always choose the sketchers

They find them the most comfy

I stopped buying Clarke's years ago. They were never wide enough so they'd just wack them up to the next size up. They were always falling over. All so bloody ugly too

Also to add, you say hard backs but supportive backs around the ankle bone are actually a lot better than backs that are super flexible!! When you have a park of shoes you shouldn't be able to push the back bit in much at all. It should be super sturdy for ankle support. Anything that is too soft won't support.

I'm not a big fan of Clarks shoes. Also they measured my son wrong recently and then sold us the wrong size after checking they fit.

Geox is a good make. Happy with them. John Lewis do good sales on toddler shoes.

Do kids not often have different shoes for parties and everyday?

Kind of like an adult might wear 6 inch stilettos to a party but otherwise wear flat / supportive shoes?

I’m imagining bouncy castle = party so people tend to wear their ‘nice’ party shoes rather than scruffy trainers or comfy shoes…

I’ve never bought startrite shoes and only just bought my DC the first pair from Clarks when he started secondary school. Usually buy them DM’s for school because they last. They wear vans slip ons, vans trainers, new balance trainers or converse the rest of the time. Wellies for muddy walks obvs. Toddler DS has liewood jelly shoes during summer which are adorable. None have ever had blisters.

We had a family BBQ a few weeks ago and I was really surprised when a relative brought their DD (aged 5) in slider style shoes- cute but not practical! She was running around with the other children and fell over a couple of time, poor kid.