To be surprised at some of the shoes parents but their kids in?

[Availableforbaking]

Donning my tin hat and prepared to be told I’m highly unreasonable but here goes!

AIBU to be surprised at some of the shoes parents put their young DC in? Recently looking at the pile of shoes by a bouncy castle and saw several pairs of very uncomfy looking “ballet pump” type shoes or plastic flip flops, very few “proper” Clarks or StartRite type shoes.

A friend just passed me a bag of hand me downs for DD with several pairs of shoes in it, most of them felt like they would be really uncomfortable, eg very hard backs etc. I can’t imagine putting DD in any of them and will probably put them in the shoe recycling bin.

Another friend bought her DD some really hard flip flops from Accessorize as her main summer shoes. They would have given me blisters in minutes.

I’m not judging anyone who is trying their best for their DC and genuinely can’t afford better - the friends I have referred to are both wealthy and can definitely afford shoes.

I know brand new Clarks / StartRite are very expensive and fully appreciate not everyone can afford them - indeed I keep a close look on secondhand sites myself and have found several pairs of Clarks / StartRite that are immaculate (literally worn once or not at all) for cheap prices. I take DD to get feet measured & check shoes fit her properly.

90% of mine & my DC wardrobe is cheap second hand but I do feel proper shoes are important.

I also appreciate shoes from other cheaper shops may be just as good as Clarks etc - I’m just more shocked at the style/type of shoes I’m seeing, like I say lots of hard uncomfy looking ballet type shoes that offer no support.

I have an adult friend who has terrible feet due to ill fitting shoes as a child (her mother let her wear heels as a child in the 80s!) so it’s something I’ve very aware of.

I mean we have the good, expensive shoes for school, sketchers trainers for most of the rest of the time, and a range of pretty but cheap shite for parties. My youngest (nursery) lives in sketchers and wellies.

Kind of assumed that’s what most did - good school she’s, decent trainers, remainder cheap shite.

@Availableforbaking

Those of you who buy shoes from supermarkets or similar, do you measure feet at home? Or take them to a specialist shop to get measured then buy from elsewhere?

Why wouldn't you just try them on? I can be a 7 in one brand ranging to an 8 in a different one.

@JaneLivesHere

What flummoxes me is that parents send their dc to school with shoes that they can't manage to put on or off themselves or that have laces when they can't tie laces.

I was once helping a little boy with his shoes, well lace up boots would be a better description. I asked him how he put them on at home thinking there must be a trick I was missing. “My mum does them “ he said, ” she uses two spoons.”

I buy my girls decent ankle boots for school, after the October hols. Usually Clarks, or Schuh last year but that was a mistake, they were dreadful.

Another mistake was Lelli Kelli school shoes. Cost an arm and a leg and lasted approx a month then fell apart. Never again.

I see a fair few girls at our primary school wearing soft suede ankle fashion boots (like slipper boots) where the instep is completely crushed, ie no support whatsoever, and on the other end of the scale very stiff looking patent ankle boots and sometimes designer brand canvas ankle boots, which in winter must get very wet. I don't think boots of any kind should be worn for school. I wish the school would crack down harder TBH. I don't think it's to do with affordability, the parents are making choices based on fashion rather than cost as boots look cuter or something

X post Ellie, not commenting on your boots choice and possibly there are some good leather ones designed for school wear, but I was thinking more that soft suede sheepskin, canvas, or stiff patent fashion boots can be that good for their feet.

I stopped buying clarks years ago for my very narrow children when they said we don't make them that narrow so we'll just put them in a size down . So they'll still be too wide but they'll also crush their toes???

can't be that good for their feet.

@Elladisenchanted

I stopped buying clarks years ago for my very narrow children when they said we don't make them that narrow so we'll just put them in a size down . So they'll still be too wide but they'll also crush their toes???

This happened with us too. DD1 is narrower than their narrowest fitting so they said they’d size down

@Pippapet narrow ankles and feet mean my kids often end up with high top style or ankle boot type shoes for school ( they lace up higher) as they fit and support their feet better.

@BoredZelda I've noticed since covid they have been taken away from the supermarkets I've been in that sell shoes.
I can't stand the styles of girls shoes from Clark's either, I was in there the other week buying shoes for my boys and the girls sho options all had a massive gap at the top with a Velcro strap, imagine what they'd be like if it rained their feet would get wet. I don't get it to be honest. Why do girls shoes have to be any different to boys shoes.

Mine were a mix of expensive and cheap, to be honest they all seem similar. My daughter has a pair of glittery ballwt flats for parties but she wears sneakers to preschool. Secondhand shoes are not good though, they are molded to someone else's feet!

I never rated Clarks. School shoes I used to but in an independent shop but as she got older m & s were fine. She’s at secondary and wearing a pair for second year they are still perfect (ballet style)
When she was little she’d wear party shoes at a party with a bouncy castle - monsoon ballet shoes or those Lelli Kelly pump type shoes - they washed well were comfy. Kickers too, much better quality than Clarks.
DD always had a lot of shoes. I think it was a hang up from me only having school shoes as a child (not poor just the way - school shoes, pumps, sandals) so I’d be in a party dress and Clarks not a good look.

Shoes are actually really bad for very young children’s feet, they’re really restricting and “solid” for growing feet even if measured and provided by someone like Clark’s. Slip ons which are essentially really thick socks/malleable material with a hard sole are much better for them

It depends on the context. My dd wears proper shoes for school as she wears them the most and good quality trainers and boots other times, although not measured to her feet. But on holiday or for a party I am not going to buy expensive proper shoes when she will wear them occasionally. Shoes are bloody expensive maybe they can't afford them.

I alway used to get clarkes for mine.
What are the similar price range but considered good nowadays then ?

OP was it a birthday party where you saw all these unsuitable shoes?

I imagine a lot of parents can't afford Clarks and Startrite, or at least not every time, for every growth spurt or for every type of shoe. Being poor ends up costing you more money, as you end up buying five pairs in the time you might have owned the one pair that you couldn't afford in one go.

@Elladisenchanted

I stopped buying clarks years ago for my very narrow children when they said we don't make them that narrow so we'll just put them in a size down . So they'll still be too wide but they'll also crush their toes???

We have the opposite. Clarke's last measured DD as an i width. Said to the lady 'oh I didn't realise you did i width shoes' she replied 'we don't, so she'll have to go up a size in an H width'. They only have 3 styles in an H width in her size across boys and girls and they're all hideous, not to mention like you said they're still too narrow and she just trips over the toes as they're too long. If they aren't going to fit properly anyway she may as well wear Sainsbury's shoes in the next size up rather than £45 Clarks ones!

I have wide feet so capable of looking and feeling where her toes are and knowing if her feet are squashed and last time we had both Clarks and Sainsbury's shoes on the go she refused to put the Clarks ones on in favour of her closed toe Sainsbury's sandals as they were more comfy 🤷

They were probably wearing party shoes.

I would buy Clarks or Startrite for school but out of school, I wouldn't put my children in Clarks/Startrite trainers, maybe only boots from those shops. I think these shops are good for school shoes and for baby/toddler shoes but after that age, I would buy what I would say are 'proper' trainers like Nike and Adidas.

My mum religiously put me in Clarks shoes when I was young.

I have the worst feet of anyone I’ve ever met. I can barely wear shoes at all, and constantly have blisters/burning soles. Maybe if she’d put me in shit shoes they’d be more robust?

Clarks shoes are shit.

DD (2) pretty much lives in her Adidas gazelles. She has really wide feet so Clark's said to size up but never had the sizes they said to size up to (and their range is shocking and ugly).
She can comfortably put the shoes on by herself and they look cool as well as being good quality.

We took her to Clark's for her first measurements and bought her shoes there - we took her back after a couple of months later when they were getting too tight and they measured her smaller than the too-tight shoes...

We then took her to matalan (just as the sizes are easily accessible) to try on various sizes then went to Schuh and bought the correct size. Now when she needs new shoes we just size up. Schuh are good at checking they fit nicely too.

Another vote for Clark’s girls shoes being appalling. The boys shoes are okay (if overpriced), but the girls shoes aren’t fit for purpose.

I know brand new Clarks / StartRite are very expensive and fully appreciate not everyone can afford them

Huh? What age are you talking about? These were all around when mine were kids and they had one pair they wore when they went somewhere they had to have covered feet. Apart from that it was bare feet wherever possible and if not then we stuck them in thongs (flip flops in your terminology) that had little elastics on the back until their feet learnt to walk in regular thongs properly (it’s a skill). We, along with everyone I know, could afford Clarke’s etc several times over but no way kids would be wearing them on a day out to a bouncy castle, I’d expect a big pile of little thongs! When they get to school they wear ‘proper’ good quality shoes 9-3, no issue with kids feet outside of this.