To be surprised at some of the shoes parents but their kids in?

[Availableforbaking]

Donning my tin hat and prepared to be told I’m highly unreasonable but here goes!

AIBU to be surprised at some of the shoes parents put their young DC in? Recently looking at the pile of shoes by a bouncy castle and saw several pairs of very uncomfy looking “ballet pump” type shoes or plastic flip flops, very few “proper” Clarks or StartRite type shoes.

A friend just passed me a bag of hand me downs for DD with several pairs of shoes in it, most of them felt like they would be really uncomfortable, eg very hard backs etc. I can’t imagine putting DD in any of them and will probably put them in the shoe recycling bin.

Another friend bought her DD some really hard flip flops from Accessorize as her main summer shoes. They would have given me blisters in minutes.

I’m not judging anyone who is trying their best for their DC and genuinely can’t afford better - the friends I have referred to are both wealthy and can definitely afford shoes.

I know brand new Clarks / StartRite are very expensive and fully appreciate not everyone can afford them - indeed I keep a close look on secondhand sites myself and have found several pairs of Clarks / StartRite that are immaculate (literally worn once or not at all) for cheap prices. I take DD to get feet measured & check shoes fit her properly.

90% of mine & my DC wardrobe is cheap second hand but I do feel proper shoes are important.

I also appreciate shoes from other cheaper shops may be just as good as Clarks etc - I’m just more shocked at the style/type of shoes I’m seeing, like I say lots of hard uncomfy looking ballet type shoes that offer no support.

I have an adult friend who has terrible feet due to ill fitting shoes as a child (her mother let her wear heels as a child in the 80s!) so it’s something I’ve very aware of.

@brewstew

I'm not convinced on the barefoot argument at all. I barely wore shoes until I started school at 5 then spent years having to wear specially made insoles and to correct how I walked. Despite all that as an adult I get PF if I go barefoot too often. Although we are made to be barefoot, I don't think we are made to be barefoot on hard flat ground like we have on pavements, in our homes and other buildings.

Yes this is what I wonder about too! I can’t walk barefoot at all now - have to wear Fit Flops even inside my home. But I keep wondering if I need to force myself to do periods barefoot to strengthen my feet….

I have terrible problems with plantar fasciitis and the “solutions” seem to fall into two totally opposing camps: either (a) buy very structured, very supportive shoes; or (b) buy completely flat, barefoot-style shoes as muscles need to strengthen themselves

The evidence for mitigating the symptoms are A, the evidence for prevention isn't there much at all, but comparing habitually shod vs unshod individuals, the variation in arches etc. that indicated problems were much more common in shod - unsupportive is more like unshod so for a kid, that's where my bias would go.

www.scopus.com/record/display.uri?eid=2-s2.0-84923283722&origin=inward&txGid=f3e2823484e323e12f16df85d2938b4a

Catabogus I recommend Katy Bowman, she's a biomechanist who shows and explains the evidence around shoes well (at least for a layperson like me), usually with sources, and she has a lot on foot pain.

She favours the as close to barefoot method when possible, particularly for young kids, but she discusses how for adults with issues, jumping straight to that (or straight to the other end) can cause its own set of issues (just like retraining any muscle shouldn't go from 0 to 60 in a second) and how the type of ground we walk on plays a part - someone who is always walking or runs on hard pavements and typical work surfaces has different needs to someone who mostly moves over normal ground.

Dd has a sensory processing disorder. We buy shoes that will feel fine one day, and cause her issues another and she'll refuse to wear them. If I bought her Clarks shoes every time she stopped wearing a pair I'd be a pauper. I don't 'put her' in any shoes. They have to feel right for her, so invariably that means her choosing them, not me.

Obviously this is only anecdotal @Catabogus but I suffered with horrendous PF pain for over three years and was almost always barefoot around the house and in the garden because I thought it was best. My muscles had ample opportunity to strengthen but it got to the stage I could barely walk. Interestingly, walking barefoot on a sandy beach completely eased it for a couple of days.
A steroid injection coupled with supportive shoes inside and outside finally worked long term and plenty of calf stretches kept it at bay.

@70isaLimitNotaTarget

ballet pumps are great shoes, many of the shoes people describe as "proper" are terrible shoes, based on misguided research of the 70's and 80's about how the foot develops. Support is not something a normal developing foot necessarily wants

Interested to know what you base this theory on sirfred
.

This is actually correct

When my son was a toddler he had a very flat looking foot I took him to been seen about this

I was told the bones in a child's foot dont garden until around 9 years old and the last thing you should do is put them in supportive shoes. They should be barefoot all the time in the home and he told me when buying shoes to make sure i could easily bend the soles of the shoes in half

He said the worse thing for a developing foot what to be in a hard supportive type shoes

That's why barefoot shoes are so good for kids

Harden* not garden

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall where do you go for wide shoes I have a nightmare getting wide fitting shoes for my son.

I’ve always prioritised footwear ! I’ll buy clothing cheap if I’m broke but I always invest in shoes . I absolutely agree that footwear is so important.

If it's a children's party where a bouncy castle is involved, then slip on/velcro type shoes would make sense, because they'll be constantly being put on and and taken off again. That is exactly the type of shoe I'd put my DC in, less hassle

Sturdier, better quality shoes I save for school or any activity where they will be on for a while. Wellies if it's pouring down. Sandals if going to the beach etc

@sirfredfredgeorge

ballet pumps are great shoes, many of the shoes people describe as "proper" are terrible shoes, based on misguided research of the 70's and 80's about how the foot develops. Support is not something a normal developing foot necessarily wants.

many "clarks" shoes as second hand shoes are likely worse than ballet pumps as they shape to the foot, if you want to go second hand shoes, then going for barefoot / minimalist brands are the way to go - as they are flexible enough to fit any shoe.

The response to the peak "bad shoe" of the 80's that your friend has, is not more support, it's less.

On the contrary, I'm sure ballet pumps aren't good for feet and lace ups offer more support

@Sylvvie I said most people can afford to do it. I'm fully aware that not everyone can, and peoples circumstances change so one year you might be able to kit 3 kids out in £100 shoes and another year you might struggle to cobble enough together to buy 3 pairs of £8 shoes. I'm not naive. But to suggest that most parents can't afford £60 every 6 months is absurd.

When my son was a toddler he had a very flat looking foot I took him to been seen about this

I was told the bones in a child's foot dont garden until around 9 years old and the last thing you should do is put them in supportive shoes. They should be barefoot all the time in the home and he told me when buying shoes to make sure i could easily bend the soles of the shoes in half

He said the worse thing for a developing foot what to be in a hard supportive type shoes

That's why barefoot shoes are so good for kids

Toddler feet are notably 'chubby' and carry a bigger % of fatty tissue . If you can get a child to stand on tiptoe , the arch becomes apparent . Also bear in mind a toddler has a wider based gait when they walk compared to an older child .

On the subject of ballet shoes ( pumps , not the shoes-for-ballet)
They are slip on- so slip off Unless they are so tight they are wedged on. Usually very flat and a very low vamp ( front area , toe cleavage )
If you walk in them they'd slip up and down the heel ( which is you see some girls wearing them and they clack clack clack as they slip up and down. Blisters galore )
So the toes will claw and grip. Which means the foot cannot go through the full gait cycle . The foot is designed to be flexible in part then to lock . If it cannot , or if the foot is hypermobile , it will over pronate ( inroll /flat foot) which will in turn afffect the knee making that joint over extend its range of motion.
Every Step . Every Bloody Step .

Ballet pumps are great shoes ?
Nope . They are not

If you walk in them they'd slip up and down the heel ( which is you see some girls wearing them and they clack clack clack as they slip up and down. Blisters galore )

This is not my understanding of ballet pumps, but if that what it, I'm completely wrong and you are of course right, my understanding was that they were flexible, wider toe box than most and fitted enough that they gripped the heel and stayed on when walking.

If you can get a child to stand on tiptoe , the arch becomes apparent
Why would forcing their feet into an arch (even one that they will later get) be good though, what's the benefit? If it was a benefit, why do shod humans have more arch related problems than unshod?

I went on a guided tour last weekend and was really shocked to see a girl, about 8 yo, wearing shoes with heels about 3-4cm high, and badly fitting. I reckon I could get a finger either side of her heels and at the front. It was a couple of miles and she was shuffling all the way round.

I always go to an independent shoe retailer/fitter and usually buy Geox, Bobux, Ricosta or Lurchi shoes/boots - they're not cheap, but sometimes you can get good deals at the end of the season - Geox school shoes cost me £25!! I'm done with supermarket shoes - the soles are rarely flexible and my DD just ends up walking around with her feet making slapping sounds on the floor - I'm still very much an advocate of barefoot when possible!

No need to be snippy there sirfred with the "I'm completely wrong and you are of course right" comment .

But you cannot make broad statements like "ballet pumps are great shoes"

I wouldn't say Doc Martens are "great shoes" . They are very good for many people .Excellent shoes in fact . For the right wearer . Good support, retaining medium and toe box depth .
But for someone like me with very hypermobile exremely narrow feet they would be the opposite of great . ,

No need to be snippy there sirfred with the "I'm completely wrong and you are of course right" comment

It was really not intended to be snippy! The shoes described (that fall off and have narrow toe box particularly) are not good shoes, that was not what I was saying were great.

However I do disagree that you can't say some shoes are great - they may, if you have specific needs due to foot issues (often made worse by poor shoe choice as a child) require some specific to you orthotics in to make them fit you, but the shoes themselves can be great. I don't agree that trying to luck out with supportive shoes that happen to match your needs is the right approach.

@Availableforbaking

Donning my tin hat and prepared to be told I’m highly unreasonable but here goes!

AIBU to be surprised at some of the shoes parents put their young DC in? Recently looking at the pile of shoes by a bouncy castle and saw several pairs of very uncomfy looking “ballet pump” type shoes or plastic flip flops, very few “proper” Clarks or StartRite type shoes.

A friend just passed me a bag of hand me downs for DD with several pairs of shoes in it, most of them felt like they would be really uncomfortable, eg very hard backs etc. I can’t imagine putting DD in any of them and will probably put them in the shoe recycling bin.

Another friend bought her DD some really hard flip flops from Accessorize as her main summer shoes. They would have given me blisters in minutes.

I’m not judging anyone who is trying their best for their DC and genuinely can’t afford better - the friends I have referred to are both wealthy and can definitely afford shoes.

I know brand new Clarks / StartRite are very expensive and fully appreciate not everyone can afford them - indeed I keep a close look on secondhand sites myself and have found several pairs of Clarks / StartRite that are immaculate (literally worn once or not at all) for cheap prices. I take DD to get feet measured & check shoes fit her properly.

90% of mine & my DC wardrobe is cheap second hand but I do feel proper shoes are important.

I also appreciate shoes from other cheaper shops may be just as good as Clarks etc - I’m just more shocked at the style/type of shoes I’m seeing, like I say lots of hard uncomfy looking ballet type shoes that offer no support.

I have an adult friend who has terrible feet due to ill fitting shoes as a child (her mother let her wear heels as a child in the 80s!) so it’s something I’ve very aware of.

I avoid Clark's and the other brand because they are the most horrific old fashioned shoes I've ever seen and certainly don't match up to the high prices.

Daughter has always had shoes from various places, different styles and has no problems with her feet. It's really not that deep and you're thinking to much into it.