To be surprised at some of the shoes parents but their kids in?

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Donning my tin hat and prepared to be told I’m highly unreasonable but here goes!

AIBU to be surprised at some of the shoes parents put their young DC in? Recently looking at the pile of shoes by a bouncy castle and saw several pairs of very uncomfy looking “ballet pump” type shoes or plastic flip flops, very few “proper” Clarks or StartRite type shoes.

A friend just passed me a bag of hand me downs for DD with several pairs of shoes in it, most of them felt like they would be really uncomfortable, eg very hard backs etc. I can’t imagine putting DD in any of them and will probably put them in the shoe recycling bin.

Another friend bought her DD some really hard flip flops from Accessorize as her main summer shoes. They would have given me blisters in minutes.

I’m not judging anyone who is trying their best for their DC and genuinely can’t afford better - the friends I have referred to are both wealthy and can definitely afford shoes.

I know brand new Clarks / StartRite are very expensive and fully appreciate not everyone can afford them - indeed I keep a close look on secondhand sites myself and have found several pairs of Clarks / StartRite that are immaculate (literally worn once or not at all) for cheap prices. I take DD to get feet measured & check shoes fit her properly.

90% of mine & my DC wardrobe is cheap second hand but I do feel proper shoes are important.

I also appreciate shoes from other cheaper shops may be just as good as Clarks etc - I’m just more shocked at the style/type of shoes I’m seeing, like I say lots of hard uncomfy looking ballet type shoes that offer no support.

I have an adult friend who has terrible feet due to ill fitting shoes as a child (her mother let her wear heels as a child in the 80s!) so it’s something I’ve very aware of.

I agree with you - I don’t think people need to spend lots to get sturdy, comfy shoes either. When we were on income support and struggling I still managed to find cheap but comfortable and supportive shoes from eBay, charity shops and even places like shoe zone or other cheap new shoe shops. Flip flops and very flat ballet pumps are fine for the beach or wearing to pop to the shops but not for day to day, running about everywhere wear.

I would say mind your own business. You have way too much time on your hands if you are worrying about what other people doing with their kids shoes. Worry about your own kids feet and keep it moving.

@mobear - look at Asda. I've had shoes for toddler dd from there for £6 and the quality was great!

I gave up on Clark's when a pair of toddler trainers melted in the wash and they wouldn't exchange/refund. Who on earth makes shoes for kids that aren't machine washable in the potty training years? Plus they're mega expensive and don't look that great.

My DD lives in trainers or strappy sandals in the summer. If we weren't walking too far and needed them to be taken off easily (eg soft play) I'd be happy for her to wear flip flops or pumps. I do like some of M&S and next for structured shoes although her favourite pair are currently primark. Nike are great for Velcro trainers that they can put on themselves.

I don't think party shoes provide a good overall view of what shoes the kids wear most of the time. I also don't really care what type of shoes other people's kids are wearing..

Who wears Clark's monstrosities to a party? Ballet pumps are very bad for your feet if worn long term though.

@Nidan2Sandan

I'd direct your anger to the shoe manufacturer Clark's, have you seen their range of girls shoes?

For younger girls 9 times out of 10 its these ballet style shoes with a velcro strap. No good for winter and not especially sturdy.

This When I took my daughter to buy new school shoes at Clark’s, the ‘girls’ section only had one pair of trainer-style shoes that covered her whole foot - the rest were those ballet-style shoes with a strap across the foot - useless in rainy/ cold weather. Meanwhile the ‘boys’ section was full of practical, waterproof shoes. We have bought from the boys section before, but it was a relief to have even just one pair of sensible shoes in the girls section.

To be fair the main shoes their DC wore were probably too worn out to hand down to you.

They more than likely gave you shoes that their DC barely wore and may have been given as unwanted gifts but thought you may want them.

I got sucked into the "you must buy Clark's" thing but after buying my DD and DS a pair each the came to a grand total of £120 , plus the quality was horrendous, I now mix between DM boots for winter that can be worn by both and then M&S or the TU fit right shoes. All are very good quality.
But if DC's were at a party it would be sparkly cheapy shoes or trainers.

What others have said - at a bouncy castle mine wouldn’t have been wearing their normal shoes as they would be too much of a pita.

Dd had Clarks once, when a kind Mumsnetter sent me some barely worn 2nd hand ones, back when they had the dolls in the soles.
Other that that she had shoes from Asda, or Shoezone, or similar.
It's what I could afford.
Don't be so judgey, I felt bad enough as it was.

We've had Clarkes and they're not great. We now primarily buy shoes from Asda and they've lasted and my dd's find them really comfortable.
Just because you have a strong opinion about this, it doesn't mean you're right.

My parents had no money when we were young, but the one thing they always spent well on was shoes. Everything was hand me down or handmade, but shoes were proper quality.

I do wonder how our kids’ future feet will end up with the masses of poor quality shoes kids wear these days, but it is also worth mentioning how shoes are marketed for kids.

I was looking online for shoes (I think it was start rite) and these were how they were marketed - boys need hard wear, girls need fashion. 🙄

@BobMortimersPetOwl Maybe the OP is a bit small minded to see past that. 😬

Yep, me too, and especially for girls (only when it comes to reasonably affluent parents)...

My kids generally have 5 pairs of shoes each:

• Sensible supportive school shoes
• Wellies
• Crocs
• Pair of trainers
• Pair of "party" shoes

For my daughters, the last category is almost guaranteed to be sparkly/ballet style etc, and is 100% the sort of thing I would put them in for a bouncy castle party.

I used to fit shoes in Clarks a while back and honestly it's nothing to do with the quality of the shoe - same or better quality can be found elsewhere. The size (and width) and checking it fits is what is important. Google how to check the fit of a shoe and you can buy your shoes from anywhere.

Unless your child has very wide or narrow feet, most supermarket shoes are absolutely fine. I buy my child's shoes from Asda

We now primarily buy shoes from Asda and they've lasted and my dd's find them really comfortable.

I think you missed the part where OP was talking about the type of shoes rather than where they were bought. Most supermarkets have pretty decent quality school shoes available.

Well feet are designed for barefoot walking aren't they, so surely the best shoes are ones that encourage feet to support themselves and walk in a natural way. This is probably not flip-flops or Clarks either!
I spent my childhood in bare feet, wellies and hand-me-down trainers. My feet are fine, the arches self-support etc.

Oooh judge me. Mine had Russell & Bromley and StartRite shoes.
Mind, they also had woolworths plastic high heels that they prefered loved
You couldn't get supermarket shoes then, every child was measured in a proper shoe shop

Yabu… Clark’s are terrible shoes… my son’s podiatrist and physio agree especially for girls, flimsy and unsupportive. Pair of trainers are much better.

Clarks have done a great marketing job over the decades. 'Unless your child wears Clarks shoes they will end up with deformed hobbit feet.'

@TheGrumpyGoat

If they were by a bouncy castle was it at a party? Mine would wear ballet flats to a party, but have ‘proper’ shoes for day to day life. I don’t buy from Clarks though, their shoes are awful quality now.

I don't agree all Clark's shoes are bad quality. My teenage Son's school shoes have lasted ages.

I always found start-rite were a much better fit for DD and better quality than Clarks. They do excellent outlet sales every so often, so I would buy up a few in the next sizes up (DD is a standard F which helps). Doing this meant I could get them a lot cheaper - more than half off the usual price sometimes or more. (Once they had a very good sale - good toddler shoes from previous seasons at around £11 each - and I put through an order of about £80, but their website got hacked that day so they gave me the order free as compensation - good times! )

John Lewis also often has heavily discounted start-rite shoes in their sales, too.

Or I go and get her measured, then look on eBay to find a new pair in the right size - there are plenty of people selling new in box ones; they don’t need to be secondhand.

Clarks usually have decent supportive girls’ summer sandals that fit well though.

I wouldn’t put DD in flip flops - I have horrible memories of sore feet and bleeding between my toes as a kid after wearing them.

OP, you've bought into the myth that good shoes means expensive shoes, and that they need those type of shoes at all. And worse, youre judging those who haven't bought in to the bullshit.
Epic fail, OP.