To think this is physically impossible?

[Imafailure]

Had DD2 last week. It was an emergency csection and physically I am pushed to my limits. Trying to establish breastfeeding whilst in agony and with no sleep to help recovery has been hell. Thought I'd turned a corner with less pain today but had issues with catheter and had to take antibiotics and have developed horrendous diarrhea today as a result. I'm in bed in agony with cramps and feel worse than if I had food poisoning. Feel utterly dehydrated too. Also have bad chest, throat and cough from a bug I picked up from DD1 who's at school. It gets even worse at night, and I am lying here trying not to cough as the pain on c section scar when I do is awful.

To top it off I have no idea what I'm doing with DD. She is getting more unsettled as the days go by and am now getting 2 hours broken sleep a night if I'm lucky. She's been feeding non stop since 9pm. She just had a 45 minute catnap and I couldn't sleep during it from my stomach cramps, it's making horrible gurgles and will probably need to run to the loo again in a minute.

It seems completely hopeless. Looking after a newborn is tough as it is, but with poor health on top it is just impossible.

I feel like a failure. What do I do?

[harrytwatter]

Holy shit op. I was in hospital for 8 days, with loads of pain meds and great staff supporting me. And I still felt like complete crap and total agony.

You need a probiotic for your stomach ASAP. I'm surprised pain meds aren't making you constipated, did I miss what you're taking? They do make probiotics for diarrhoea which work really well (IBS sufferer here).

Absolutely get your dh to take baby as often as possible so you rest. He will survive, he doesn't need loads of rest for when you reach breaking point. YOU need loads of rest as you've just had major surgery and you shouldn't reach breaking point.

[harrytwatter]

Express a bit out first before you feed her so it's not flowing out so fast.

[Ohdofuckofdear]

For the engorged breasts OP stick a whole leaf of savoy cabbage in each cup of your bra.

It sounds bizzare I know but it really does work!
I've breastfed all 5 of my DC and my HV and Midwife with my first both reccomended it when I was engorged and OMG the relief when it helped was immense!

Hard I know because of your bad stomach but untill that's passed make sure your drinking plenty of fluids at least,we all forget about ourselves when we have a newborn but you need to stay hydrated as much as your DC does and think about getting some vitamins for yourself as well.

Getting your DH to leave you in the bed so you can rest and sleep in the day is a brilliant idea,you need to be able to make up for the sleep your losing at night,so sleep when ever the support is there.

Giving birth is bloody hard and a C Section is a major operation so make sure whilst your busy looking after the baby that someone is busy looking after you!

Congratulations and Good Luck,I hope things soon feel much better.

[StoppinBy]

In Aus, the minimum stay after a c/s is 5 days. I cannot believe they send you home after 24 hours!

Your milk takes longer to come in after a c/s versus a vaginal birth so the constant feeding is baby's way of trying to hurry that up. I wonder if you actually need to be in hospital and on a drip to keep you hydrated, hydration is so important to allow your body to make milk properly.

You're not being sookie, a c/s is tough, a newborn is tough and being sick on top of that would be terrible.

[mathanxiety]

Send your DH out to buy about a dozen cheap white bath towels and a dozen cheap white hand/face towels.
Put the bath towels in layers in your bed in the area that gets soaked with milk. Peel them off when they get soaked and the next layer will be there.
Use the small towels to absorb leaked milk.

Get DH to wash all the soaked towels and dry them the following day.

Try to hand express milk before offering the nipple to the baby. This will help reduce pressure.

Are you trying to feed sitting up or lying side by side with lots of pillows and a pillow at your back?

No need to change baby if soaked with milk. Just wipe her neck/under her chin with a moist cloth if you think there's milk everywhere, and DH can wash her in the morning. You can also tuck a dry muslin in under the neck of her onesie to absorb milk.

You need more pain relief, and it's possible your doctor could give you a prescription for a different AB. Worth a call.

[harrytwatter]

@StoppinBy

In Aus, the minimum stay after a c/s is 5 days. I cannot believe they send you home after 24 hours!

Your milk takes longer to come in after a c/s versus a vaginal birth so the constant feeding is baby's way of trying to hurry that up. I wonder if you actually need to be in hospital and on a drip to keep you hydrated, hydration is so important to allow your body to make milk properly.

You're not being sookie, a c/s is tough, a newborn is tough and being sick on top of that would be terrible.

Crazy isn't it. I was having my wound checked regularly, blood pressure, made sure I had my pressure stockings on, physio coming every day, injections every day (for blood clotting I think), pain meds brought regularly. What happens if you get an infection or your partner isn't supportive and you're left unable to wash or go to the bathroom?

[mathanxiety]

Use the small towels to absorb leaked milk directly at its source.

[mathanxiety]

You need to drink gallons of water. Glug it down.

[mathanxiety]

Do you have any sports/hydration drink?
You are losing fluid through diarrhea as well as trying to BF.

Send DH out for Gatorade and he should bring DC1 with him if not in school. You cannot look after the older child right now.

[QOD]

Put a towel across your belly and put your hands on each end when you need to cough - pulling it taut across your wound. Really helps stop the pain when you cough
Wish I knew you cos I’d come spend a night looking after you all

[Cah03]

I'm not a mum so don't have any sensible advice about breastfeeding etc but I am a nurse so would encourage you to be religious about painkillers and drinking plenty of water. Also, roll up a hand towel and pop a couple of elastic bands/some sellotape around it to keep it in a roll - you can hold this against your wound when you cough, it'll give you some security and help with the pain. I'd normally agree with the PP about immodium, but since we know you don't have a bug and the diarrhoea is likely caused by the antibiotics, you could check if its safe for breastfeeding and take some - staying hydrated is key!

[BigGreen]

I'm really shocked by this OP, you need to get your DH to take leave and be home with you all day for at least the next week.

Your well-being is hugely important. You need to be prioritised. Sending you massive

[TreaslakeandBack]

I would send DH for formula and bottles, hand baby to him and go to bed. Get a breast pump to pump if you feel engorged. Once you feel well take over feeding and baby care again, for now DH looks after baby and you get well and comfortable.

[GeorgiaGirl52]

Everyone is different, but the obstetricians we have used strongly recommend bottle feeding after a C-section. At least for the first week or two, for the sake of the mother. Then it is your choice to switch to breast or continue with bottle.

[Hercisback]

Georgia How would you switch to BF after 2 weeks on a bottle?

OP you're in the worst bit now. A week in after major surgery and absolutely knackered. Compounded by an infection. Priority 1 is to get the infection shifted. Once that's gone you will feel somewhat better. Drink water water water!

Stay in bed for a couple of days. DH can sort dd1.

[StoppinBy]

@harrytwatter .... oh yeah, forgot about the injections. It was nice knowing you had care at hand if you needed it and a hanging bar to help you get out of bed.

[StoppinBy]

@GeorgiaGirl52 How does that work? If you don't feed baby your body stops making milk, it's a supply and demand system.

[Carrierpigeon]

I'm shocked that you were sent home after 24 hours I gave birth by CS in a country with a minimum five day stay and lots of nursing support. It still took a few weeks to recover.

Please place yourself front and centre. Be honest with your DH and get as much support as you can

[Underamour]

I would get bottles/milk/ steriliser etc from Amazon or somewhere fast and prioritise getting well. The occasional bottle will not harm your child. You need to rest. Doing too much is not safe for you or your child. FWIW I had to mixed feed as I didn’t produce enough milk- they are now happy, healthy and high performing. I hope you feel better soon and congratulations on your lovely new DD💐

[IsolaPribby]

@PyongyangKipperbang

HOnestly? I would give baby to husband with instructions to feed and change as neccessary (yes, a bottle feed) and sleep sleep sleep. You are not Superwoman, and sometimes its ok to say "I cant do this" and let the easiest thing go, which right now is the BF. I am sure that I will be blasted apart for saying that but as a woman who couldnt BF for medical reasons (short story....I have no milk ducts), and has 6 kids who all did just fine on formula, what is most important to your baby right now? A mother who put herself back in hospital in order to BF or a mother who is rested, healthy and happy whilst the baby got what she needed nutritionally?

If you dont have a MW visit tomorrow, then call and ask for one and when they arrive tell them everything.

I wholeheartedly echo this!

[HandScreen]

Oh please do switch immediately to formula feeding and just get better, you poor thing!

[HandScreen]

Also, get a c section belt from Amazon (I think they're called Theraline or something) - makes a world of difference for the pain.

[Imafailure]

Thank you all, such good practical advice to make my life easier going forward. I'll definitely be more prepared with things to hand for the next night. The constant changing of soaked clothes was ridiculous.

Had a couple of hours sleep which took the edge off but now DD2 is awake screaming not latching and nothing seems to help and the screaming has woken DD1 who gets really grumpy when she's not had her sleep.

Well let's just focus on today. DH is back at work from Monday and his job is all consuming so I dread to think what will happen to me, need to get as healthy as I can by then.

[Imafailure]

Will definitely consider the formula feeding, right now the thought of figuring this out feels even more overwhelming than carrying on with what I am doing but it's definitely an option.

[Cantchooseaname]

Sounds awful.
Your husband does not have to go back- he may need to take emergency leave because there is no one to take care of his newborn. It is his child too.
What do you like to drink? Time to send him for some supplies of your favourite things. And some good snacks to give you a little energy.
Try and get a wash, clean pjs, and him to change bed.
Feed, but leave the rest to him. You need to rest and focus on your recovery- and yes to calling mid wives and sorting pain relief.