To think this is physically impossible?

[Imafailure]

Had DD2 last week. It was an emergency csection and physically I am pushed to my limits. Trying to establish breastfeeding whilst in agony and with no sleep to help recovery has been hell. Thought I'd turned a corner with less pain today but had issues with catheter and had to take antibiotics and have developed horrendous diarrhea today as a result. I'm in bed in agony with cramps and feel worse than if I had food poisoning. Feel utterly dehydrated too. Also have bad chest, throat and cough from a bug I picked up from DD1 who's at school. It gets even worse at night, and I am lying here trying not to cough as the pain on c section scar when I do is awful.

To top it off I have no idea what I'm doing with DD. She is getting more unsettled as the days go by and am now getting 2 hours broken sleep a night if I'm lucky. She's been feeding non stop since 9pm. She just had a 45 minute catnap and I couldn't sleep during it from my stomach cramps, it's making horrible gurgles and will probably need to run to the loo again in a minute.

It seems completely hopeless. Looking after a newborn is tough as it is, but with poor health on top it is just impossible.

I feel like a failure. What do I do?

[ToadstoolBubbleMaker]

Sounds good OP. I've had a numb/sore bladder after each of my sections and it does eventually resolve itself but it's very very sore to start with. I also couldn't feel when I needed to pee and just had to remind myself to go every few hours, might be worth trying that to make sure you don't get another uti. Keep your fluids up and try to rest!

I don't think there's anything wrong with discharging from hospital after 24 hours but only where the mother is well and is able to manage at home - this clearly wasn't the case for you and I can't believe they discharged you with a catheter. You've really been through the ringer.

Good luck, hope it all continues to improve.

[cricketmum84]

Lovely update OP. I'm so happy you are feeling better!

The hardest bit is over now (well until you get to the teenage years but the less said about that the better!!)

[RandomMess]

So pleased your DH has taken the week off very much needed!

[LimpLettice]

Lovely update, OP. Sounds like the fog is lifting a little and now as this your second, you'll be more prepared for the changes that will keep assailing you! Keep up your skin to skin and in demand feeds. It might be that your let down has started to settle a bit - monitor her output as much as anything to keep an eye on supply. She's about 2 weeks now? 7 or 8 wet / dirty nappies a day IIRC. So pleased you are so much more comfortable. Keep on keeping on!

[ChristmasPlannier]

Glad you're recovering

[Bluetrews25]

And they call us the weaker sex, eh?
You are one strong, resilient woman!
Full of admiration at your strength and tenacity

[NoSquirrels]

That’s a really lovely update- I’m so pleased to hear you’re feeling better. Well done for asking for more help and well done to your DH for hearing and responding. Eat lots of and drink plenty of fluids and enjoy the time together this week.

[FreiasBathtub]

Ah that is wonderful to hear! So pleased that you are feeling better and were able to get some sleep and some quality time with DD1. Make sure you keep taking it easy this week - one day at a time. Remember your c-section wound is healing from the outside in. It'll start to look 'healed' on the surface a long time before the muscles and womb itself are knitted back together. So don't rush yourself!

[nunamenuyear]

Look after yourself OP. Glad things are getting better, just try not to overdo it. Total disgrace you were discharged in that state.

[foxgoosefinch]

That’s great - so pleased to hear things are getting better! ❤️

[Giraffe888]

I’ve not posted but have followed this and I’m so pleased to see the positive update x

[Doomscrolling]

I delighted to hear it! Look after yourself

[ArabellaScott]

That is fab to hear. Well done, OP. I'm so glad to hear this update.

Enjoy your week of rest and recuperation!

[Imafailure]

Thank you so much for checking on me. As you all predicted, just a few days later and things are so different already, and much improved thankfully!

Once I got a few naps in during the day it really took the edge off and I was able to get better sleep at night too. DD2 has been settled and made it quite easy thankfully.

I'm off the horrible antibiotics, and my cough and chest are much better, I'm barely needing pain medication for the csection pain anymore either and moving a lot better.

Bladder issues seem to be settling and I was reassured by the midwife that it can feel bruised for a while but I should have no further problems.

Dd1 has been very happy this weekend and I have been able to read to her and play with her and get a bit of our bond back.

I did overdo it a bit yesterday wanting to walk to the park and started hurting and bleeding a bit so will take it easy again from today. DH has taken the week off so I can rest and recover some more. I'm very aware that as DD2 gets less sleepy things might get more demanding again but feel so much better equipped now that I'm physically OK.

My milk supply seems to have reduced a bit, perhaps from being so run down for so long, so im focusing on good hydration and nutrition.

So very grateful for all the advice and support I received, it genuinely saved my sanity I was in such a bad place! Thank you

[ArabellaScott]

Yes, hoping you are okay, OP.

[FreiasBathtub]

Hello OP, just popping back in to say I was thinking of you and hoping you saw some medical professionals over the weekend. Gentle hugs.

[NoSquirrels]

Oh my dear - honestly, being hospitalised might be the best thing for a little while!

Your DD will be OK. Small children process things physically and loudly! (Adults aren’t always much better ). I remember when my DC2 was born and DC1 was rejecting me in favour of DH, and I was so upset by it and my mum said “It’s a good thing, don’t worry” and I thought she was s dismissing my feelings and being heartless.

But actually it was OK. She was right! My DH needed to strengthen his bond with DC1, and being physically and practically responsible, and I needed to focus on DC2 and feeding and sleeping. I didn’t like listening to them when there were hairy moments that I felt DH handled badly but it was important, looking back.

Wishing you some rest. Please get your DH to warn his boss you are really not well and cannot be left.

[Hollowtree3]

I think, just try to get in any friends or family too help when they can to sue the baby when they are awake. Do you are free to just shut your eyes or if possible sleep. You need to recover

[ArabellaScott]

OP, when I had an infection and the docs were useless, I called NHS 24, or whatever the service is called now. They had me a prescription sorted via a call direct to the doctor very quickly.

Please give them a quick call, that's really shit that your midwife didn't turn up. Actually, get your DH to call them and kick up a fuss, they are not looking after you properly.

Also, re your DD - yes, it's a big change for her (and for you). She's processing it. It's emotional storms, they will pass through her quickly and she will be totally fine. You have absolutely not ruined her life! You've given her (an eventual) playmate and a sibling. She will honestly be fine, just let her have her emotional responses, and they'll work their way out.

Some good advice here, for when you're feeling up to it. www.ahaparenting.com/read/Help-Sibling-Child-Adjust-New-Baby

Right now, though, your focus is on your health. You're doing fine. You just have to get through the first days and nights. x

[RosesAndHellebores]

I'd just call 111 if I were you. It's horrendous how the system has neglected you.

[ChristmasPlannier]

So sorry to read your update. However I think if you're offered being admitted to hospital say yes, you will hopefully have a quick recovery

[Imafailure]

Thank you all I am struggling massively again. Its an hour past DD1 bedtime and she's spent it absolutely beyond herself screaming for me but when I get close to her she screams "go away" "I don't like you" then back to "mummy I need you" or "I'm scared" but if I try to help she hits and kicks.

She's usually such a good and happy girl, she's in complete emotional turmoil I feel like I have ruined her life.

I should be in bed right now I am beyond exhausted, not dealing with this.

To top it off I am getting UTI pains today after catheter was removed yesterday, it all feels very sore down there so not even sure the horrible antibiotics have even done their job and might have something new to deal with.

Midwife also didn't show today, have to travel to hospital in the morning to see one instead.

Felt so lightheaded earlier and honestly wouldn't be surprised if I end up hospitalised again. Was almost wishing it earlier so I could be away from it all and recuperate once and for all:(

Sorry for the rant, this thread has been a life saver. Bloody hell what a rough ride.

[ArabellaScott]

Of course a newborn's motions are going to be loose, anyway. But yes, I would say colic was quite posssibly a side effect of the antibi's I took for post-birth infection.

Yogurt is good, you can also get probiotic supplements specifically for taking when you're on antibiotics.

[ArabellaScott]

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/antibiotics/

'Most antibiotics can produce excessively loose motions in the baby, with the appearance of diarrhoea. Some infants appear more unsettled with tummy aches or colic. These effects are not clinically significant and do not require treatment. The value of continued breastfeeding outweighs the temporary inconvenience. In theory exposure may sensitise the baby to later doses e.g. penicillin allergy but this is exceedingly rare. Large doses of antibiotics may encourage overgrowth of thrush (candida) in the mother by killing all the natural gut bacteria. Many women find taking supplements of acidophilus or live yoghurt beneficial to redress the balance. Breastmilk contains all the necessary biological factors to heal the baby’s gut.'

[Thehop]

My post birth antibiotics made my breast fed baby so poorly. We were both utterly miserable. Don’t forget to take a pro biotic if you can to avoid secondary infections like thrush from taking an antibiotic.

I honestly think you’re bloody superwoman, I have no idea how you’re managing with all this going on but you are, and obviously used to worrying about everyone else before yourself!

@LimpLettice and @Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep have given brilliant advice.

I’d also warn your husband he will likely need a week of family leave next week. That will be a huge weight lifted x