Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy

463 replies

PurplePizzaCake · 22/09/2021 21:24

AIBU in thinking it's OK to have the odd glass of wine while pregnant? Maybe 2 very small glasses a week?

Yes = YABU and shouldn't drink that much/anything at all

No= it's fine to have the odd glass

OP posts:
SheilaWilcox · 23/09/2021 00:23

I think I'd worry about someone's relationship with alcohol generally if they couldn't go without for 9 months.
Everyone saying it's a mumsnet thing and 'in the real world' people drink. I don't know of one person that drank during pregnancy.

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:25

@SheilaWilcox

I think I'd worry about someone's relationship with alcohol generally if they couldn't go without for 9 months. Everyone saying it's a mumsnet thing and 'in the real world' people drink. I don't know of one person that drank during pregnancy.
They probably didn't tell you knowing you had such a sanctimonious attitude towards alcohol
slipperybanana · 23/09/2021 00:25

No. It's your choice although current guidance is no alcohol whatsoever but I wouldn't judge you - each to their own.

Personally I don't touch a drop when pregnant it's just not for me, I'm a worrier and generally when I drink when not pregnant I drink to get drunk not to enjoy one glass so the enjoyment for me isn't in one glass therefore it's pointless.

I have lots of friends who drunk a lot during pregnancy and surprisingly most of those kids turned out to be extra smart, over achievers. The rest are normal kids.

I have seen the effects of foetal alcohol syndrome on a teenager however (not a friends child) and it is sad what it can clearly do - that wasn't with 2 wines a week though

ShrikeAttack · 23/09/2021 00:27

TBH I don't know if my friends or family did or didn't drink during pregnancy, I wasn't really monitoring it, because it's not my bloody business what other women do with their bodies!

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:28

I have seen the effects of foetal alcohol syndrome on a teenager however (not a friends child) and it is sad what it can clearly do - that wasn't with 2 wines a week though

I taught one teenager with FAS but his parents would drink 2 bottles of vodka and 2 bottles of cider a day between them and this apparently hadn't stopped when the mum was pregnant Sad so I really can't get my knickers in a twist about the odd glass of wine

slipperybanana · 23/09/2021 00:35

@YourFinestPantaloons

I have seen the effects of foetal alcohol syndrome on a teenager however (not a friends child) and it is sad what it can clearly do - that wasn't with 2 wines a week though

I taught one teenager with FAS but his parents would drink 2 bottles of vodka and 2 bottles of cider a day between them and this apparently hadn't stopped when the mum was pregnant Sad so I really can't get my knickers in a twist about the odd glass of wine

It's so sad isn't it. This was a teenager who had been adopted as a baby as the mother wasn't fit to have her and despite a great upbringing and education she really struggled with daily life and was not in any way academic.

I do worry myself as I ended up very drunk around 1-2 weeks after conception but found out I was pregnant a week later and have not touched a drop since. I worry that I was so drunk at that stage that it would affect baby but I'm hopeful at that stage it was still just cells and no brain development was affected...

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:44

@slipperybanana your baby will be fin. As a PP pointed out, our mothers would think in pregnancy (it was advised!) and we are all not suffering from FAS.

As sad as it was for that teenaged boy, I also felt sad for his parents especially his mum. Alcoholism is a disease not a weakness and they seriously struggled to function normally without high levels of alcohol. What a horrible life

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:45

*FINE not fin Blush

Sorry, what a terribly unfortunate faux pas

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:45

*drink in pregnancy

I have got to start proof reading my posts

slipperybanana · 23/09/2021 00:46

@YourFinestPantaloons

*FINE not fin Blush

Sorry, what a terribly unfortunate faux pas

I'll be watching for any fins when it's born just in case Grin
Strokethefurrywall · 23/09/2021 00:48

I'd say don't rely on strangers on an uptight forum like MN to dictate your life.

If you've done your own research (actual research, not MN threads) and feel comfortable with your decision then go ahead.

I had a regular glass of wine throughout my pregnancy with DS2, felt comfortable with my decision but I also didn't care if people on the internet agreed with me or not.

The only people who I allowed to have an opinion on how I got through my pregnancy was DH (to an extent) and more importantly, my OBGYN.

I'm a well educated woman, I had done my research and I decided that the risks of an occasional small glass of wine every week with a meal was minimal.

MeanWeedratStew · 23/09/2021 00:57

I never drank during any if my three pregnancies. If I had done, I know I'd have worried about it for the remainder of the pregnancy. Not worth it.

If people are twatty enough to ask why you're not drinking, then you're on antibiotics/pain meds that don't mix with alcohol. Or you're driving. Or you're not feeling well/just don't fancy it/want to cut back for health reasons.

If they're twatty enough to directly ask if you're pregnant, then a hurt, wide-eyed "Are you saying I look fat?" should shut them up.

RobertaFirmino · 23/09/2021 01:11

I wonder why the vast majority of the human race over about the age of 20 aren't suffering from FAS if minute quantities cause it?

My DM drank 2 small cans of Guinness a week when she was having me - on the doctor's advice. I've got a Masters so am assuming my brain is OK.

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 23/09/2021 01:30

I can definitely go without, I probably only drank a total of 3 small glasses in my first pregnancy

That's not going without.

YABU

Strokethefurrywall · 23/09/2021 01:50

@RobertaFirmino exactly.
Given it was advise given to expectant mothers for decades, it’s a wonder how any of us are fully functioning, successful members of society.

Downing a bottle of vodka a night? Nope.
A couple glasses of wine during a 9 month gestation period - fine.
How we’ve made it to the pinnacle of civilization with all the booze around is beyond me.

RonaldMcDonald · 23/09/2021 02:04

The odd glass in mid preggo seemed fine imo
I’m not into policing women.
As long as we are aware of reasonable risk levels etc of whatever we consume

NumberTheory · 23/09/2021 02:12

I didn’t, because I don’t really want the odd glass, I want half a bottle and maybe a cocktail too. But if you like a glass of wine a couple of times a week, the risk associated with that is not unreasonable, and is lower than the risk associated with a whole bunch of other activities pregnant women routinely engage in and which there isn’t some sort of witch hunt over.

However, in the last 15 years every pregnant woman I know who has justified a drink by telling me they only have the odd glass of wine has drunk at least two large glasses that night. Alcohol lowers inhibitions so even if you start with good intentions, if you don’t normally stop after one glass, it’s a risk to think you will when pregnant.

careerchangeperhaps · 23/09/2021 02:30

I wouldn't in the early stages (under 12-16 weeks). But from there on, an occasional small drink (say a very small glass of wine / 1/2 pt beer, definitely no more than once a week) or the odd sip of your DPs drink - yes I would.

I drink very rarely anyway (1-2 units a fortnight).

BathMatToe · 23/09/2021 03:49

Oh look... a drinking in pregnancy thread.... shocking.
Look out for tomorrow's thread..."leaving kids in car while I pick up essentials. Drip feed... cigarettes.... extra drip feed... I'm on benefits".
Try harder

seaandsandcastles · 23/09/2021 04:31

Yes YABU. Don’t be so selfish.

You are actively happy to potentially cause harm to your unborn baby. You know there’s a chance and you’re okay with that. Think about that again.

Queenoftheashes · 23/09/2021 06:26

So no one has posted any actual evidence that a glass of wine a week is a problem. My research indicates it is not… the impression I get is it’s just another way for people to judge women on how self sacrificing they are. Women must be martyrs. Yawn.

WeDidntMeanToGoToSea · 23/09/2021 06:37

I wouldn't call two small glasses a week 'the odd glass' - that's regular drinking. But I think the (genuinely) odd glass* is OK and did this in all my three pregnancies.

*This meant, to me, nothing for approx the first half of the pregnancies (with nos. 2 and 3 there was one exception to each of these for a special occasion at the end of the first trimester) and on average one small (really small) glass every 2 or 3 weeks thereafter. This after researching the issue and deciding that was the level of drinking at which I was comfortable. My dc are fine on that score and my third - probably the pregnancy in which I was most relaxed about this - seems to be the 'brightest' and most focused one, if that's any measure of anything.

I accept that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, but all things considered, the levels at which I chose to drink did not seem to me to present the kind of risk some people are painting in rather lurid tones on here. And I do find it interesting that (some) people who will vocally condemn someone for having a small glass of wine in pregnancy will be frighteningly casual about brie/pate/unwashed salad, although the risk there IS known, fairly precisely, and the consequences of listeriosis in pregnancy are likely to be devastating. That was something I was absolutely strict about. But there is no moral value attached to brie/pate - it doesn't lend itself to judgement and feelings of moral superiority.

Onairjunkie · 23/09/2021 06:38

I did. But I didn’t worry about anything much. Doctor said it was fine and he also green-lighted skiing, cheese and sushi, as it has to be frozen in the UK so it’s safe

cultkid · 23/09/2021 06:43

Yanbu to have a glass of wine when pregnant

WeDidntMeanToGoToSea · 23/09/2021 06:47

And yes, I had my first in 2005 and had a booklet, from an academic source, recommending no more than eight units a week.