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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy

463 replies

PurplePizzaCake · 22/09/2021 21:24

AIBU in thinking it's OK to have the odd glass of wine while pregnant? Maybe 2 very small glasses a week?

Yes = YABU and shouldn't drink that much/anything at all

No= it's fine to have the odd glass

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 22/09/2021 21:49

I love my wine, but once I found out I was pregnant I didn’t drink apart from one very small glass of wine (like two mouthfuls) at Christmas for a toast. It just feels wrong! and I couldn’t enjoy it anyway.
On the plus side, my skin was amazing!

When I drink, I eat crisps, peanuts, junk…. so if there was no harm at all to the baby from drinking alcohol, I’d probably have ended up several clothes sizes bigger!

Jiggyjigsaw · 22/09/2021 21:50

I had a couple of drinks when I was pregnant, one drink on 5 occasions. 2 small glases of wine in a week is not a lot. I'm not sure you are going to get a balanced opinion here though.

Notgoodnews · 22/09/2021 21:52

Unfortunately there is no safe level of alcohol in pregnancy. The guidance not to drink at all is often criticised as paternalistic or over the top but I personally feel its completely justified.

Alcohol crosses the placenta which means that your baby's blood alcohol concentration is the same as yours. Their brain and other tissues are developing rapidly in a way that is not fully understood, but that are obviously susceptible to alcohol because it is known that alcohol can disrupt normal fetal development and cause fetal alcohol syndrome. It is not understood why some women who drink during pregnancy will have a child with fetal alcohol syndrome and others won't - it's not as simple as being directly related to the amount of alcohol drunk.

Fetal alcohol syndrome exists on a spectrum, can be difficult to recognise and is under diagnosed. Children with FAS are unfortunately not likely to receive the support they need, because the resources and funding for child mental health and child development services frankly don't exist. The problems caused by FAS (cognitive, behavioural, social, executive, attentive) are lifelong. The university of Bristol recently estimated that up to 17% of UK children could have symptoms related to fetal alcohol spectrum disorder - I do wonder about the knock on effects for society.

I don't pass judgement on women who drink alcohol in pregnancy and women shouldn't be told what to do nor do I wish to tell you what to do(!), but I do think it's really important to know the risks. Rsad about FAS. I absolutely would not consume any alcohol myself whilst pregnant. Perhaps 2 glasses of wine here and there won't affect how your fetus' brain and nervous system develop, but noone here or anywhere else can tell you based on evidence that it won't. For me it would not be worth the risk.

I realise I've written this as though you are pregnant though you may not be(!). Good question regardless.

hereforthechat · 22/09/2021 21:52

YABU it's not worth the risk, there's a lot of evidence to confirm alcohol harms a developing baby even in small doses

Hohofortherobbers · 22/09/2021 21:52

YABU, I didn't touch a drop. Would you give your newborn a sip of wine? Of course not.

Gorl · 22/09/2021 21:52

I think an occasional drink is not harmful, but twice a week is more than occasional.

GabriellaMontez · 22/09/2021 21:55

It's fine.

But not on mumsnet where someone will be along to tell you you're a selfish alcoholic, why would you even risk a sniff, and it can only take one wine gum to cause foetal alcohol syndrome.

moynomore · 22/09/2021 21:58

I don't know why you would bother? I'm a big drinker to be honest, but didn't touch it while pregnant. Just a small thing to not have to worry about.

moynomore · 22/09/2021 22:00

@Hohofortherobbers

YABU, I didn't touch a drop. Would you give your newborn a sip of wine? Of course not.
Not sure this comparison is helpful. I wouldn't feed my newborn a curry, but certainly ate a load of them while pregnant.
8dpwoah · 22/09/2021 22:00

I wouldn't, because I can't see any need to. I don't drink a lot normally though anyway, maybe that makes a difference. And I haven't been in a position of needing to hide an early pregnancy at a social event either.

I might consider a swig or two of fizz to toast a wedding or something at an absolute push.

KingHiss · 22/09/2021 22:02

There's no evidence whatsoever that the occasional drink causes harm. The science can't determine what level of alcohol intake may, might, could cause harm so the default is zero.
Women should be alarmed that the WHO recently posited that all women of child bearing age should be prevented from consuming alcohol.
Cheers!

HangingChads · 22/09/2021 22:03

YANBU. An occasional small glass of wine is fine.

RickySpanishhh · 22/09/2021 22:03

Why are you asking? I doubt you’ll listen to being told you’re BU. So what’s the point?

mistermagpie · 22/09/2021 22:03

I don't judge other women for the occasional glass of wine but twice a week is more than I drink normally so it does seem unnecessary.

I didn't drink during my three pregnancies, I was pregnant twice over Christmas so considered it but in the end I didn't see the point. It's not really a big sacrifice in the grand scheme of things.

Hohofortherobbers · 22/09/2021 22:03

Would you have eaten the curry while pregnant if it was laced with a toxic chemical?

Youreacockarentyou · 22/09/2021 22:04

All I’m gonna say is Mumsnet is not known for its balanced opinions on alcohol consumption.

Seriallover · 22/09/2021 22:04

If you were to drink during your pregnancy and that much, id say it was a reflection of what you'd be like as a mother. Sounds harsh but don't be so bloody selfish.
Some of us didn't do any of that and still had a stillbirth.

Queenoftheashes · 22/09/2021 22:04

@hereforthechat

YABU it's not worth the risk, there's a lot of evidence to confirm alcohol harms a developing baby even in small doses
What evidence?
scully29 · 22/09/2021 22:08

Ok, its literally FASD Awareness month, please look into the lifelong disability that you cause by drinking in pregnancy. Please please. There is no safe amount because you are literally destroying your babies brain while it develops. It causes so much difficulty for them in future. It is so not worth it.

scully29 · 22/09/2021 22:09

All the evidence Queen, good starting point:

www.fasdawareness.org.uk/about-us

scully29 · 22/09/2021 22:10
HangingChads · 22/09/2021 22:10

Actually there is no evidence that low levels of alcohol intake during pregnancy has any effect on pregnancy outcomes, and this is an area that has been heavily studied.

It's about more than 'can you not go 9 months without alcohol for the sake of your baby' (a load of claptrap). It's about having a balanced, sensible attitude to risk.

sociallydistained · 22/09/2021 22:12

Just not a risk I’d be willing to take tbh. 22 weeks and not had a drop.

scully29 · 22/09/2021 22:13

And there is the guilt. Everytime you worry about their difficulty in coping, everytime they display traits associated with FASD (impulse control, inability to manage time, money etc - abstract concepts) you'l think, wow I wish i didnt drink. You are building your babies brain, dont do this, do everything you can to give them the best chance at life.

scully29 · 22/09/2021 22:15

Hanging chads I beg to differ. Not drinking v ANY risk to giving a child an irreversible brain based disability, how is drinking a risk worth taking??