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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy

463 replies

PurplePizzaCake · 22/09/2021 21:24

AIBU in thinking it's OK to have the odd glass of wine while pregnant? Maybe 2 very small glasses a week?

Yes = YABU and shouldn't drink that much/anything at all

No= it's fine to have the odd glass

OP posts:
Brokensunflower · 25/09/2021 18:06

Is this a joke? Since when did men get an opinion on what a woman does with her own body? hmm

When she's varying his child he absolutely gets a say.

Brokensunflower · 25/09/2021 18:06

*carrying

BlairWaldorfLovesShopping · 25/09/2021 20:47

@Brokensunflower

Is this a joke? Since when did men get an opinion on what a woman does with her own body? hmm

When she's varying his child he absolutely gets a say.

Whoa, I really don’t think you’ve thought this comment through Confused
Sometimeswinning · 25/09/2021 20:51

Whoa, I really don’t think you’ve thought this comment through

No. There are literally people out there who think so little of women and so highly of men.

Shellfishblastard · 25/09/2021 20:54

I chose not to drink at all - with two exceptions.

I had two weddings to attend when I was pregnant with DD2. At both I accepted a glass of fizz on arrival and nursed it all during the speeches and meal! It felt like such a treat. I added ice to it when it started to get warm 😂

Brokensunflower · 25/09/2021 22:16

*Whoa, I really don’t think you’ve thought this comment through

No. There are literally people out there who think so little of women and so highly of men.*

No I think of then equally. A baby is as much a man's as a woman's. He has the right to make decisions on its care.

Strokethefurrywall · 25/09/2021 22:52

@Brokensunflower after the baby is born absolutely.

But a man cannot dictate what a woman does with her body at any time. Yes it’s grand to discuss what you plan with your OH during pregnancy, but my OH does not get to dictate what I do with my body at any time. My DH was with me when the OBGYN said a glass or two of wine a week was fine, and supported me when I exercised my right to enjoy a glass.

A man has a right to discuss, ask questions and state preferences but he does not have the right to demand anything.

ohfook · 26/09/2021 06:55

@Brokensunflower

*Whoa, I really don’t think you’ve thought this comment through

No. There are literally people out there who think so little of women and so highly of men.*

No I think of then equally. A baby is as much a man's as a woman's. He has the right to make decisions on its care.

He really doesn't. I'm married to my husband and he's a good man who would never (intentionally) be a dick. Of course I listen to his thoughts and bear (sp?) then in mind when I make decisions. But he has no rights over my body. He can't demand I do something whether or not I'm carrying his baby. Some women are not in partnerships with kind decent men and going from a starting point of assuming men can have agency over a women's body is dangerous- and probably leads us down the path to Texas!
Waxonwaxoff0 · 26/09/2021 07:27

I didn't drink at all in pregnancy. I just don't see the point. It's not hard to go without just for a short period of time in your life.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 26/09/2021 07:28

@Brokensunflower

*Whoa, I really don’t think you’ve thought this comment through

No. There are literally people out there who think so little of women and so highly of men.*

No I think of then equally. A baby is as much a man's as a woman's. He has the right to make decisions on its care.

Disagree. If we go down that road then we are saying that men should have a choice whether women have abortions or not.
zingally · 26/09/2021 08:27

I didn't drink at all during my pregnancy.

I'm not a big drinker anyway, I maybe only have 10 drinks a year, so it wasn't a major hardship to quit for 9 months.

There's a little boy at the school I teach at that has foetal alcohol syndrome. His mum swears on her life she only had one drink during her pregnancy (no-one really believes her), but it wasn't a risk I was prepared to take.

ShrikeAttack · 26/09/2021 18:11

@zingally

I didn't drink at all during my pregnancy.

I'm not a big drinker anyway, I maybe only have 10 drinks a year, so it wasn't a major hardship to quit for 9 months.

There's a little boy at the school I teach at that has foetal alcohol syndrome. His mum swears on her life she only had one drink during her pregnancy (no-one really believes her), but it wasn't a risk I was prepared to take.

So 'no-one really believes her', but it's still a risk you're not willing to take?

Which one is it?

Because I guarantee that if her child has FAS she had more than one drink during pregnancy. That's not even on the 'things that might have happened' scale.

It is irrelevant anyway.

The only thing that really matters is that it is not for you, or me, to police women's bodies.

It's not.

And if you choose not to drink during pregnancy, that's absolutely fine, that is and will always be absolutely your choice.

It is not your job or choice to have an opinion about what other women do with their bodies during pregnancy. The results of which are bugger all to do with you (other than maybe using your unimpeachable record to either feel superior or compel women to behave in ways that you see fit).

YourFinestPantaloons · 26/09/2021 21:48

@Brokensunflower

Is this a joke? Since when did men get an opinion on what a woman does with her own body? hmm

When she's varying his child he absolutely gets a say.

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