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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy

463 replies

PurplePizzaCake · 22/09/2021 21:24

AIBU in thinking it's OK to have the odd glass of wine while pregnant? Maybe 2 very small glasses a week?

Yes = YABU and shouldn't drink that much/anything at all

No= it's fine to have the odd glass

OP posts:
weegiemum · 22/09/2021 23:02

Is everyone over 18 suffering from FASD then? When I was pg (my youngest is 17) the advice was 1-2 units 1-2 times a week. Most friends I knew had a glass of wine here and there. I didn't drink a lot, but had a wee glass on a Friday night. None of my dc are affected!

I know that now it's zero but I think that's an attempt to moderate people who drink too much. No idea what I'd do if I was pg now!

Mamatoabeauty · 22/09/2021 23:08

I personally wouldn’t

TheKeatingFive · 22/09/2021 23:09

Is everyone over 18 suffering from FASD then?

Well quite.

If various posters claims are true you’d see a marked and consistent drop off in fasd rates at the points when countries changed guidelines. I’ve never seen any data to indicate that is the case.

NigellaSeed · 22/09/2021 23:17

I don't really care what miniscule risks people take for themselves, but this risk is only on the baby, who has no choice on the matter.

You're responsible for their well-being, not saying no to a drink isn't a good start

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 22/09/2021 23:25

but this risk is only on the baby, who has no choice on the matter

Exactly. It’s hardly a huge amount of time to give up alcohol for. Not sure why people would be encouraging a pregnant women to drink socially. Wouldn’t even occur to me to offer alcohol.

I wouldn’t give a baby or child alcohol so wouldn’t consume it whilst pregnant as would feel no different to me.

Antinerak · 22/09/2021 23:34

Whether there is a risk or not, I wouldn't want to take the risk of there being a risk. If a pregnant person can't go 9 months without alcohol they should be getting help, not having a baby.

I see it as no different to not drinking before driving. It could be fine, or it could cause serious damage or death and either way I don't want to spend 9 months wondering.

Bloose · 22/09/2021 23:38

I have always said that a little bit of everything in moderation is absolutely fine. I absolutely used to think I would drink occasionally in pregnancy.

However. We are now finding it so hard for me to get pregnant that I said to DH, if by some miracle it happens, I am going to live on organic healthy food for nine months, eat no crap at all and no alcohol etc! Anything to help produce a healthy baby.

WellLarDeDar · 22/09/2021 23:49

I used to be vehemently against drinking whilst pregnant. But since making new friends recently, I've met a few ladies with honestly the loveliest kids who drank whilst pregnant and they have sort of made me more relaxed about it. I mean dont go on a bender, but a small glass of wine twice a week wont do any harm.

noblegreenk · 22/09/2021 23:52

I did have the odd glass of wine during my pregnancy but I didn't drink every week. I has a glass of wine on my birthday, a couple of glasses at a wedding and a glass at my baby shower. Plus maybe 2 or 3 other glasses of wine when out for meals.

SmallProvincial · 23/09/2021 00:00

Even before I found out I was pregnant I went off alcohol and caffeine. Like completely, the thought of either turned my stomach.

Then at 25 ish weeks I really fancied a (small) glass of red wine. So I had one.

I'm not a drinker. And by that time I trusted my body, as it'd steered me away from alcohol until that point.

Notably I also vaped at the point of becoming pregnant, and I also went off that, until about five weeks after DD was born, then it became an actual struggle not to have nicotine.

ShrikeAttack · 23/09/2021 00:02

I think the problem with recording FAS and associated drinking levels is that women who give birth to children with FAS will under-report their drinking for obvious reasons, claiming only to have had a couple of glasses a week when they've actually been necking a couple of bottles a day, and this is where the 'FAS can be caused by small amounts of alcohol' claims come from.

As no empirical data can be collected and proper studies using pregnant women ethically carried out all we have to go on is self-reporting which is notoriously unreliable, particularly in the case of substance use.

I wonder why the vast majority of the human race over about the age of 20 aren't suffering from FAS if minute quantities cause it?

I imagine it's because you actually have to drink quite a substantial amount of alcohol to cause damage, and even then it's not guaranteed.

Sanctimonious bollox like the rubbish regurgitated on this thread drives me bonkers!

ShrikeAttack · 23/09/2021 00:05

People used to drink beer instead of water because it was safer, the gin craze in the UK saw phenomenal volumes of alcohol being consumed.

I'm amazed the industrial revolution ever happened with all the brain damage that must have been around!

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:06

It's fine.

In MNland you're an alcoholic if you have more than a thimble full of Sherry at Christmas. Ignore the Pearl clutchers

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:07

@hereforthechat

YABU it's not worth the risk, there's a lot of evidence to confirm alcohol harms a developing baby even in small doses
Evidence please @hereforthechat
YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:07

@Hohofortherobbers

YABU, I didn't touch a drop. Would you give your newborn a sip of wine? Of course not.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Good old MN hysteria and terrible analogies.

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:09

@Hohofortherobbers

Would you have eaten the curry while pregnant if it was laced with a toxic chemical?
Oh @Hohofortherobbers your comments are the gift that keeps on giving.

The odd drink in pregnancy is fine. As many, many sources over the years have confirmed. Relax. Unclench. Have a gin!

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:10

If you were to drink during your pregnancy and that much, id say it was a reflection of what you'd be like as a mother.

Yes, she'd be a mother who drinks alcohol 😱😱 burn the witch!

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:12

[quote scully29]All the evidence Queen, good starting point:

www.fasdawareness.org.uk/about-us[/quote]
Ok but where does it say the odd glass of wine causes FADS?

Spoiler alert: it doesn't actually give an amount.

TheGoogleMum · 23/09/2021 00:12

I think some people get very paranoid about this. I didnt mind the idea of having a glass of wine while pregnant (just on the odd occasion only 1!) But actually I really didn't fancy alcohol. I also went off tea which is my main (non alcoholic) drink...

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:16

@scully29

And there is the guilt. Everytime you worry about their difficulty in coping, everytime they display traits associated with FASD (impulse control, inability to manage time, money etc - abstract concepts) you'l think, wow I wish i didnt drink. You are building your babies brain, dont do this, do everything you can to give them the best chance at life.
Unless you're exceptionally stupid, nobody thinks this. Not all of us mothers are guilt obsessed. I feel guilty about nothing WRT my children.

And also, the only drinks I had in my pregnancies were Bucks Fizz at Christmas both times. Just to check - am I supposed to be crying to myself and using a cat-o-nine-tails on my back in punishment every time one of my DC struggles with their homework?

Do you know what IS toxic to mothers and babies? People with these righteous, interfering, busybody , misogynistic attitudes. People claiming 'aNd thERes tHe GUilT" as if we should all feel terrible about every parenting decision at every turn.

How about you just stop telling women what to do with their bodies? How about that radical idea?

Stompythedinosaur · 23/09/2021 00:18

I personally don't see the point in taking the risk.

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:21

I wouldn’t give a baby or child alcohol so wouldn’t consume it whilst pregnant as would feel no different to

You do understand why this isn't the same thing, right?

Flickeringgreenlight · 23/09/2021 00:22

Why on earth is this a constant topic on here? Surely the health of your unborn baby is not in the hands of a bunch of anonymous online strangers, validating "the odd drink" you may or may not have.

Surely it's not rocket science to know why pregnant women shouldn't be drinking. No one knows the safe limit so it's best to err on the side of caution. It is for the health of your baby at the end of the day which should be number 1 priority. Do it or don't do it, it's your responsibility.

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 00:22

Interestingly, what there IS advice on, is how much caffeine a woman should have a day. IIRC, not more than 2 cups of tea or coffee.

Did you all stick to that then? Or did you be totally sElFiSH and go for help for the addiction that is "literally harming your baby's brain"?

Winterautumn · 23/09/2021 00:23

I wouldn’t drink now if I was pregnant .. but when I was pregnant 19 years ago and 18 years ago the advice was drink alcohol in moderation. I did drink wine when I was out for dinner.
I still did have the odd drink when I had my 3rd baby 10 years later, I hadn’t realised at first that the advice and attitudes towards alcohol had changed so much since my previous births.
But then I remember being in the maternity suite and mums smoking in the smoking room next to the ward with our newborns

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