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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy

463 replies

PurplePizzaCake · 22/09/2021 21:24

AIBU in thinking it's OK to have the odd glass of wine while pregnant? Maybe 2 very small glasses a week?

Yes = YABU and shouldn't drink that much/anything at all

No= it's fine to have the odd glass

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 23/09/2021 22:14

If you run the risk of even the slightest possibility if damaging your child's developing brain even the smallest amount with something unavoidable then why wouldn't you.

If you run even the slightest possibility of damaging your child even the smallest amount by ending up in an RTA as a result of an inessential car journey then why would you?

hettysfeathers · 23/09/2021 22:30

YABU. No amount is okay, the evidence supports this

TheKeatingFive · 23/09/2021 22:31

evidence supports this

Okay then, link to this evidence pls

postingfortraffichere · 23/09/2021 22:33

YABU, it's just not worth it

Sez93 · 23/09/2021 22:40

I am a huge drinker usually, however the moment I got my BFP I haven't touched a drop since 😊

Yerroblemom1923 · 24/09/2021 06:31

*Brokensunflower I know you don't have to keep it quiet for 12 weeks but I chose to as it's known how common miscarriage is and I didn't want to have the conversation, especially with my mother, if the worst should happen.
I appreciate miscarriage must be one of the worst things a parent can go through.
I didn't say I actually drunk said glass of wine, just had one in my hand to keep up the pretense. The old "I'm on antibiotics" line doesn't work anymore and we live in a culture where to not drink arouses suspicions in most people, especially if you were once a keen drinker.

Original poster
PurplePizzaCake · 24/09/2021 06:36

Re 'drinking' in social situations to hide the pregnancy... I have absolutely no problem declining drinks and letting my close friends/family know before the 12 week mark, but at a work event where people know I haven't driven to the event and where I don't want everyone knowing I'm pregnant is a different thing. So I would accept a flute of champagne and take the odd sip throughout the evening and never actually finish it. If I could slip off and order a soft drink then I would.

OP posts:
YourFinestPantaloons · 24/09/2021 07:01

@hettysfeathers

YABU. No amount is okay, the evidence supports this
Show us then @hettysfeathers
Brokensunflower · 24/09/2021 07:13

If you run even the slightest possibility of damaging your child even the smallest amount by ending up in an RTA as a result of an inessential car journey then why would you?

Honestly if that's the defense you are taking then I would suggest you don't live in a house in case there is fire and definitely don't walk down a flight of stairs.

It's ridiculous to compare drinking alcohol with getting in a car.

MissCruellaDeVil · 24/09/2021 07:15

I didn't touch a drop during either of my pregnancies, it just isn't worth the risk to me. no matter how small.

arield · 24/09/2021 07:17

Well I hope you're not eating hummus, cashews, melons, carrots, cucumber or any other fruit or veg that can carry listeria. Listeria is very bad news for a foetus - far more so than the odd glass of wine and you know better safe than sorry.

All those things you've mentioned offer nutrition. Alcohol is bad for you full stop. Pregnant or not.

arield · 24/09/2021 07:19

Who are all these people that can't go without alcohol for 9 months? It's so weird to me.

TheKeatingFive · 24/09/2021 07:20

Honestly if that's the defense you are taking then I would suggest you don't live in a house in case there is fire and definitely don't walk down a flight of stairs.

Well quite. It’s statistically more likely to cause your baby harm than the occasional drink

It's ridiculous to compare drinking alcohol with getting in a car.

It really isn’t. An inessential journey is a risk you don’t have to take that there’s a small chance could cause you baby (possibly very serious) harm. The risk is very small but always there.

It goes beyond the remit of this thread, but I find it absolutely fascinating that we’ve been culturally conditioned to massively downplay the risks of driving. We should all be much more mindful of what our society ‘nudges’ us to think and why.

arield · 24/09/2021 07:22

Are the people that drink in pregnancy also fine with smoking in pregnancy?

Hohofortherobbers · 24/09/2021 07:22

Experts are still unsure exactly how much – if any – alcohol is completely safe for you to have while you're pregnant, so the safest approach is not to drink at all while you're expecting.

Is it safe to drink alcohol when pregnant?
The Chief Medical Officers for the UK recommend that if you're pregnant or planning to become pregnant, the safest approach is not to drink alcohol at all to keep risks to your baby to a minimum.

Drinking in pregnancy can lead to long-term harm to the baby, with the more you drink, the greater the risk.

How does alcohol affect my unborn baby?
When you drink, alcohol passes from your blood through the placenta and to your baby.

A baby's liver is one of the last organs to develop and does not mature until the later stages of pregnancy.

Your baby cannot process alcohol as well as you can, and too much exposure to alcohol can seriously affect their development.

Drinking alcohol, especially in the first 3 months of pregnancy, increases the risk of miscarriage, premature birth and your baby having a low birthweight.

This is copied from NHS website. There is no confirmed safe amount of alcohol.

TheKeatingFive · 24/09/2021 07:22

All those things you've mentioned offer nutrition. Alcohol is bad for you full stop. Pregnant or not.

To be honest, having read up on the impact of obesity on pregnancy and baby outcomes we should be a lot more worried about sugary processed carbs than we are.

arield · 24/09/2021 07:22

It goes beyond the remit of this thread, but I find it absolutely fascinating that we’ve been culturally conditioned to massively downplay the risks of driving. We should all be much more mindful of what our society ‘nudges’ us to think and why.

I do agree with this though

arield · 24/09/2021 07:23

@TheKeatingFive

All those things you've mentioned offer nutrition. Alcohol is bad for you full stop. Pregnant or not.

To be honest, having read up on the impact of obesity on pregnancy and baby outcomes we should be a lot more worried about sugary processed carbs than we are.

Yep probably. But that doesn't mean we should stop worrying about alcohol because there's something worse to worry about.
TheKeatingFive · 24/09/2021 07:23

This is copied from NHS website. There is no confirmed safe amount of alcohol.

There is no confirmed safe amount of chocolate or bananas or air.

There is still no actual data that demonstrates that alcohol in small amounts is harmful.

Needsleep32 · 24/09/2021 07:24

I had the occasional glass in my second pregnancy, but by occasional I mean one every couple of months with dinner.

PartyPotato · 24/09/2021 07:30

A few people have asked about this, and no I wouldn’t judge someone who had one or two cigarettes throughout their whole pregnancy. Smoking is an addiction, and people slip up. Although a small glass of alcohol is probably the equivalent healthwise to a few puffs on a fag, not a whole one, so not really a fair comparison.

We are talking about ONE small drink every few months, possibly 2 or 3 times throughout the whole 9 months. Not absolutely caning it. But apparantly on mumsnet, if you’re ok with having a couple of small drinks in pregnancy, you’re also ok with binge drinking and smoking like a chimney.

PartyPotato · 24/09/2021 07:34

the nhs has to advise not to drink alcohol during pregnancy because they can’t determine a safe amount. So it’s blanket advice that makes it applicable to everyone without individual assessment.

gailplattshairbrush · 24/09/2021 07:41

There are some really extreme attitudes towards alcohol on MN anyway. If you admit to drinking more than a couple of times per week people immediately start throwing the word alcoholic around. So some of comments here don't surprise me in the slightest.

I haven't touched alcohol since I found out I was pregnant the three weeks before I knew were a different story however. But I may well have a glass on Christmas Day. It's not the big deal people make it out to be. I'm always so confused by people who fawn over themselves to tell others how they are doing everything wrong. If you don't drink, that's your choice but why invest so much time telling others that their choices are so terrible, especially when you have very little actual data to back up your claims.

ohfook · 24/09/2021 07:42

@arield

Well I hope you're not eating hummus, cashews, melons, carrots, cucumber or any other fruit or veg that can carry listeria. Listeria is very bad news for a foetus - far more so than the odd glass of wine and you know better safe than sorry.

All those things you've mentioned offer nutrition. Alcohol is bad for you full stop. Pregnant or not.

But their are other things that offer nutrition that don't carry the risk of listeria, so again why risk it?
ohfook · 24/09/2021 07:45

@arield

Are the people that drink in pregnancy also fine with smoking in pregnancy?
No because the evidence on the link between nicotine and low birth weight in newborns is very very clear.

Just like the evidence on one or two drinks a week, consumed slowly, having no adverse effects on the foetus is also very clear, just slightly more distorted by bad interpretations of poor research and some people's need to patronise pregnant women.