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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy

463 replies

PurplePizzaCake · 22/09/2021 21:24

AIBU in thinking it's OK to have the odd glass of wine while pregnant? Maybe 2 very small glasses a week?

Yes = YABU and shouldn't drink that much/anything at all

No= it's fine to have the odd glass

OP posts:
JustThisLastLittleBit · 23/09/2021 16:49

My mum drank a bit when carrying me, I drank a bit when carrying my DC, all of us are fine (a minimum of two degrees each 😂). We weren't poisoned by the small amounts of alcohol imbibed, nor were we poisoned by stress hormones from over-anxious, controlled women being given a hard time by a society which seems to think it owns them.

We were lucky I guess. Mum and I didn't doubt ourselves. A confident, relaxed pregnant woman is a wonderful thing.

Pregnancy for me was a blissful, excited time with no fear, only anticipation. I worry for my DD that, if they do get PG, they will be bullied into not trusting their instincts, and have crap science quoted at them left right and centre, as here.

Of course I'm talking about very very moderate drinking. If you're the type of person who drinks to get drunk, then it's best to avoid even having one drink as it can so easily lead to several more. You know yourself best.

LaikO · 23/09/2021 17:03

I don't think those not drinking during pregnancy are all martyrs. I didn't drink, but I could live without it normally so didn't care. I wasn't stressed or ashamed, declined my partner's offer of not drinking while I didn't. I did try some non-alcoholic cider though, it was surprisingly good!

ManifestDestinee · 23/09/2021 17:06

I don't think those not drinking during pregnancy are all martyrs

Of course they aren't, it's the ones loudly judging other women that are. Most people make their own choices and let other women make theirs, it's just a gobby minority who insist on telling lies in an attempt to make others feel bad.

Hohofortherobbers · 23/09/2021 17:31

@TheKeatingFive

So can you guarantee to me that every single child in the world born with the mother having drunk a glass of wine a week, or any amount of alcohol during pregnancy, will be safe from FAS? Can you guarantee that?

I can’t guarantee that no unborn baby will be harmed by their mother being in an RTA while taking a non essential car trip, but we don’t endlessly harangue woman for that.

Life is a balance of risks. Getting out of bed in the morning is a risk. Staying there is also a risk.

The data available on the subject tells us that the risk of occasional drinking in pregnancy is minimal. The focus on this compared to much more significant risk factors (obesity) is ridiculous.

Drinking in pregnancy is a risk you can completely, easily and instantly negate without any impact upon your life though, why wouldn't you?
Hohofortherobbers · 23/09/2021 17:34

A balanced diet is nutrients which nourish your baby, what benefit does wine bring to the baby?

holibobs12 · 23/09/2021 17:41

@Hohofortherobbers

A balanced diet is nutrients which nourish your baby, what benefit does wine bring to the baby?
What benefit is a coffee, chocolate or McDonald's to a fetus? Who cares, a small, very occasional drink will do no more harm any of those other things. I'm not saying it's healthy but half a glass on a special occasion? So what.

Alcoholism and regular drinking is where attention should be diverted. Guidance says there's no known safe limit which is good, as it makes people err on the side of caution. Doesn't mean one drop and your nanny gets FAS.

gogohm · 23/09/2021 17:45

Occasional is ok, but if you feel the need twice a week then it's time to consider is that really occasional?

For context though we were told a couple of drinks once or twice a week was fine when my DD's were born, in years earlier Guinness was actually suggested as good for pregnant women and I don't see a lot FAS in middle aged people!

TheKeatingFive · 23/09/2021 17:47

Drinking in pregnancy is a risk you can completely, easily and instantly negate without any impact upon your life though, why wouldn't you?

Because it isn’t a risk in small quantities or are you going to actually produce the data we’ve been asking for to back up your view?

A balanced diet is nutrients which nourish your baby, what benefit does wine bring to the baby?

What nutrients are in cake, crisps, biscuits all the many processed foods we eat everyday that we know are bad for us? Given the actually proven connection between obesity and potential problems for the baby, this stuff is probably much more problematic than the odd glass of wine.

ManifestDestinee · 23/09/2021 18:05

Drinking in pregnancy is a risk you can completely, easily and instantly negate without any impact upon your life though, why wouldn't you?

You haven't proven your premise that it is a risk. Not one single person has been able to link to one single source that shows that occasional drinking in pregnancy is harmful.
You know why? Because it doesn't exist.

arield · 23/09/2021 18:08

I haven't ever had a single drink while pregnant. Better safe than sorry

kitkatsky · 23/09/2021 18:16

I love drinking way more than I should, but regardless went June to Feb without drinking apart from a mouthful of Prosecco on Christmas Day. You're likely ok and it might be fine but science is unsure and I like research 😕

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 18:20

@Hohofortherobbers

A balanced diet is nutrients which nourish your baby, what benefit does wine bring to the baby?
I think you e forgotten that a woman is carrying that baby and what she likes matters too. If that's a glass of wine that will not be harmful Then so be it.
ManifestDestinee · 23/09/2021 18:20

science is unsure and I like research

It isn't at all unsure, that's the point.

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 18:22

264 comments and not a single person has posted a source proving a glass of wine harms a baby. Yet about 1/4 posters have claimed this.

Funny thats

arield · 23/09/2021 19:18

@YourFinestPantaloons

264 comments and not a single person has posted a source proving a glass of wine harms a baby. Yet about 1/4 posters have claimed this.

Funny thats

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/drinking-alcohol-while-pregnant/
TheKeatingFive · 23/09/2021 19:31

That’s not evidence

ManifestDestinee · 23/09/2021 19:58

That link literally says: "Drinking heavily throughout pregnancy can cause your baby to develop a serious condition called foetal alcohol syndrome (FAS)"

Thanks for agreeing with us!

ohfook · 23/09/2021 20:34

@arield

I haven't ever had a single drink while pregnant. Better safe than sorry
Well I hope you're not eating hummus, cashews, melons, carrots, cucumber or any other fruit or veg that can carry listeria. Listeria is very bad news for a foetus - far more so than the odd glass of wine and you know better safe than sorry.
Yerroblemom1923 · 23/09/2021 20:35

Also it matters WHEN a mother drinks heavily during her pregnancy, if it's a critical time of brain development then yes the foetus is likely to be harmed. As others have said, it's v difficult to find reliable scientific evidence as few mothers are likely to admit to drinking while pregnant and FAS children don't always have the distinctive facial characteristics that we associate with the syndrome. It does make you wonder if there are more children/ adults out there with undiagnosed FAS than you'd think.

ManifestDestinee · 23/09/2021 20:38

It does make you wonder if there are more children/ adults out there with undiagnosed FAS than you'd think

It's certain that there are. But they weren't born to mothers who had a glass of wine twice a week.

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 20:42

@arield I said a source that shows that drinking a glass of wine in pregnancy is dangerous. That link does it demonstrate that

Darceyhemingway · 23/09/2021 20:43

I wouldn't. I love a drink and am really missing wine but I'm 30 weeks and haven't had a drop. It's not worth jt risk

Brokensunflower · 23/09/2021 20:47

didn't even fancy a wine but knew that to not have one would arouse suspicions so nursed one all night long - doubt I even finished it but to anyone watching it all

Why does it matter if someone knows you are pregnant. It's a silly myth that we must keep quiet before 12 weeks. It makes it much harder for miscarriage to be discussed. If you want to keep quiet until after 12 weeks that's great. But drinking wine to cover it up is childish and ridiculous.

Brokensunflower · 23/09/2021 20:59

Also, there is a difference between foetal alcohol syndrome & foetal alcohol spectrum disorder. The spectrum is where there is known drinking and the child has behaviour traits. Often even when there is known alcohol use people are not diagnosed as it's often seen as "no point" as it can be mixed in with other conditions so isn't thought necessary to pursue
Despite this FASD is the most common neurodevelopmental condition. More common than Autism.

It's the first thing they warn adoptive parents about as the effects of prenatal alcohol exposure are unpleasant.

If you run the risk of even the slightest possibility if damaging your child's developing brain even the smallest amount with something unavoidable then why wouldn't you.

I hope every single person on here that is ok with drinking in pregnancy never judges a pregnant woman that smokes or takes another drug.

YouMeandtheSpew · 23/09/2021 21:07

I haven’t drunk alcohol since I got a positive pregnancy test. Not because I believe that light drinking is harmful to a developing baby but because I’m not a big drinker anyway and I don’t really miss it. (Brie and rare steak on the other hand…)

But I hate this haranguing of women about alcohol in pregnancy. It’s so paternalistic and can lead women to become desperately anxious - on the pregnancy board in the last few weeks I’ve seen a thread from a women who was beating herself up over accidentally eating some champagne chocolate truffles (containing 3% champagne!) and a thread by a women who had two glasses of wine before her positive test and was convinced she’d pickled her baby.