Drinking in pregnancy

[PurplePizzaCake]

AIBU in thinking it's OK to have the odd glass of wine while pregnant? Maybe 2 very small glasses a week?

Yes = YABU and shouldn't drink that much/anything at all

No= it's fine to have the odd glass

@Maggie178

Alcohol foetal syndrome doesn't just happen to babies born to alcoholics and women who binge drink. Any woman who drinks during pregnancy can have a child with it. Why take the risk?

Source for this?

@KarmaStar

Yanbu there is an innocent baby who didn't ask to be there,it was your choice. Then to pour toxins into your body ,the baby may not have serious damage but could feel ill,I don't know,but it ,to me,is extremely selfish to drink whilst pregnant,even if you self justify by saying it's a small drink.surely you don't need to drink.

@KarmaStar how do you feel about women drinking coffee in pregnancy?

@Brokensunflower

Alcohol is more dangerous to an unborn baby than heroin in terms of long term effects yet we all look down our noses at addicts but not at mother's who are willing to drink when pregnant. One glass of champagne at a wedding might not be awful but every week is a terrible thing to do. Perhaps this baby will escape unharmed from it but why risk it? Why do something with no benefit but a potential for harm?

Source for this claim?

@GertietheGherkin

The way I've always looked at it is I would never fill my babies bottle with wine and make them drink it, so I wouldn't give them wine via my umbilical cord either. Whatever I eat/ drink ultimately ends up in my babies system. It makes no difference how small.

For the sake of your babies health and well being can you just skip alcohol. During pregnancy and breastfeeding?

@GertietheGherkin I'm assuming you only drank breastmilk or formula during pregnancy then? Going by your logic of only feeding yourself what you'd feed a baby

Of course it's fine. Like a previous poster said, you have to at least pretend to be drinking otherwise it's obvious - I mean in the first 12 weeks before you're allowed to tell people. I remember in the early stages going to a comedy night with some friends and I really didn't even fancy a wine but knew that to not have one would arouse suspicions so nursed one all night long - doubt I even finished it but to anyone watching it all looked totally normal - shrunkenhead with a glass in hand as per!
Also, if you do your research, there is a critical time during pregnancy when the brain is developing and it's important to restrict your intake to just the small one then. I think in the mid to latter stages when baby is pretty much fully formed it's not such a big deal to have a drink.
I think it's interesting that for the first 12 weeks you're unlikely to want to go anywhere near alcohol as it knocks you sick - your body's way of saying it's not a good idea!

The odd drink most likely won't affect the baby. But we're talking about regular drinking here, 2-3 times a week, pregnant or not, isn't a small amount of drinking. There absolutely have been women who say they drink a a small regular amount throughout their pregnancy and it's resulted in FAS.
Why would you even risk it? Alcohol doesn't taste that nice, neither does coffee, roller coasters aren't that fun. Nothing is surely worth risking, not only your baby's health, but also that you'll spend the rest of your life looking after a disabled baby/child/adult. It's only a few months, just do the best you can by your baby.

Much depends on how old the foetus is, as at some stages of development, even a glass of wine can cause damage.

Source for this please @Skysblue

@TheKeatingFive

But if you do the research you will learn that even a teeny tiny amount of alcohol can cause permanent brain damage to the foetus.

🙄

What research?

How come we didn’t have sky high FASD rates when guidelines included small levels of consumption.

I really wish someone would answer this. My mum had low iron and drank Guineas regularly throughout all her 4 pregnancies. How come none of us have FASD and how come all of us have done well academically and in our careers?

I wouldn't, and haven't, had a drink during pregnancy. There isn't definitive research to show a "safe" amount, so I wouldn't take the risk. I figure it's 9 months, I can go without, although I'm not a big drinker anyway.

@ManifestDestinee

Very defensive for someone who must think it's OK. If you're so sure you're right and I'm wrong, you wouldn't be this bothered surely?

I'm not defensive, my fertile days are long behind me. I'm bothered by all the sanctimonious women lying about the subject. What's that about? Is it some kind of weird boasting or is it just that you swallowed the lies of others and feels the need to pass it on...as realising how readily you absorbed their nonsense and how gullible you were would make you feel very silly?

Judge away, and I'll do the same.

I actually think it's mummy martyrs who feel uncomfortable at the women who didn't spend their pregnancies martyring themselves for absolutely nobody to notice or care.

How about we look at all the healthy living adults who didn't use seatbelts smile (myself included!!) while we forget about all the ones who HAD problems

No that doesn't work. Those of us who were around know about people who died in RTAs for want of wearing a seatbelt. We can compare road accident fatalities today with the level of fatalities from 40 years ago. We would also know about the ones with serious life limiting injuries. We can see the scars of people who were badly injured.

However, are any of us aware of the supposed effects of alcohol in pregnancy amongst the over 30s compared to those of younger generations?

But we're talking about regular drinking here, 2-3 times a week, pregnant or not, isn't a small amount of drinking. There absolutely have been women who say they drink a a small regular amount throughout their pregnancy and it's resulted in FAS

One small glass twice a week IS a small amount of drinking. Very small. And the key word there is SAY they drink a small amount. In reality the data shows us that even in women who we know are drinking huge amounts of alcohol, full on binge drinking alcoholics, only a small percentage of their babies have FAS. Most are fine, even with massive amounts of alcohol.

Every bit of science we know about alcohol points to small amounts being perfectly safe. No, we can't guarantee it as thats not how science work, but we can't guarantee anything is safe, and we don't expect to.

I had one sip of champagne while pregnant to toast a marriage celebration. It wasn't difficult for me not to drink and I'm thankful I didn't have more. My DC has as an intellectual disability and ASD, I wrongly already have a lot of guilt and worry that something I did caused this. I'd do anything to take their struggles away, thankfully there's no worry that alcohol played a part.

@PurplePizzaCake

Sometimes I think it's easier to accept a drink at a social occasion than basically telling people you are pregnant by not drinking

Slightly tangential, but I just find it so odd that we have developed this culture where it's actively expected that we will always drink at social occasions, and if we don't we have to have a good excuse lined up!

Pre-pregnancy, I remember having to come up with reasons like "oh I'm on antibiotics right now" when the reality was that I just didn't fancy drinking that night. It's so odd to me that I couldn't just say "no, I don't fancy it tonight".

The one benefit of being pregnant during lockdowns is that I didn't have anywhere to go where people would interrogate why I'm not drinking!

The catch is that we only know about the cases where it is significant enough for mum to have admitted alcohol use and a paediatrician to have investigated it. There are many many children who have impacts we don't know about. Perhaps their memory is poorer, they are inattentive, a bit hyperactive, struggle with organisation but just view it as a personality trait because it's not at a clinically significant level. We can't really know for sure it's not had an impact.

In response to the other comments - salad has potential benefits with low risk of harm.

Going in a car is typically a necessity for life to go on whilst pregnant.

Alcohol has no benefit but potential for (& at some levels definite) harm.

IVF clinics tell you not to drink even before your eggs are collected as it's not worth the risk.

@Skysblue

Yabu. It’s a very stupid thing to do.

Doctors sometimes tell women that a very little alcohol is fine, because they know at stress is also v bad for baby, and they believe they’re talking to a woman who won’t be able to give up alcohol completely so they might as well say a little is fine (plus they haven’t read the latest research). But if you do the research you will learn that even a teeny tiny amount of alcohol can cause permanent brain damage to the foetus. Much depends on how old the foetus is, as at some stages of development, even a glass of wine can cause damage. Drinking in pregnancy has also been linked to child ADHD and autism, the rates of which are shooting up in England - but not in countries where pregnant women don’t drink alcohol.

Do you know at what stage of foetal development the child’s brain is most vulnerable to alcohol? No? Suggest you google instead of coming on Mumsnet looking for support for a stupid choice the consequences of which you and your child may have to live with for a very long time.

By your own claim bullshit your mum must have had an absolute skinful way day.

My god, there is Trump level bullshit and misinformation on this thread.

I do wish someone would post a social I've told their claims, I have asked several people

There are many many children who have impacts we don't know about. Perhaps their memory is poorer, they are inattentive, a bit hyperactive, struggle with organisation but just view it as a personality trait because it's not at a clinically significant level

I fail to see how we would notice this at a population level of it was as prevalent as people here are making out.

We can't really know for sure it's not had an impact.

Well that’s not exactly the world’s most powerful argument.

salad has potential benefits with low risk of harm.

Actually lots of commercially produced salads aren’t that nutritious, switching to broccoli would be better all round probably

Going in a car is typically a necessity for life to go on whilst pregnant.

Plenty of car journeys aren’t necessary as has been pointed out many times

Alcohol has no benefit but potential for (& at some levels definite) harm.

Just because you don’t see a benefit doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Enjoyment, relaxation. Kind of like chocolate and similar degrees of potential harm (neither sugar nor caffeine are great)

YABU

If you can't go without then you have a problem.

I fail to see how we would notice this at a population level of it was as prevalent as people here are making out.

I mean wouldn’t notice

The catch is that we only know about the cases where it is significant enough for mum to have admitted alcohol use and a paediatrician to have investigated it. There are many many children who have impacts we don't know about. Perhaps their memory is poorer, they are inattentive, a bit hyperactive, struggle with organisation but just view it as a personality trait because it's not at a clinically significant level. We can't really know for sure it's not had an impact

And perhaps all of those things were due to pollution, or caffiene, or prescription drugs. You can't just decide they are due to alcohol, with no basis whatsoever to do so!

I think ‘mummy martyrs’ craving recognition for their pointless total abstinence is about right.

I was absolutely shamed On jere and in real life for continuing to exercise at the same level as before when pregnant, even when unbelievably sick in the early days. It was essential to keep me going through a go of antenatal depression. The shaming came in large part from women who’d had babies and those who were having them.
I suspect they were all ones who’d stopped doing anything during pregnancy, instead using it as an excuse to do fuck all and eat for two.

I just assumed they were bitter that unlike them, I hadn’t put on extra weight, despite a traumatic pregnancy breezed through and bounced back from my labour. Sometimes women’s biggest biggest detractor is other women. Mind boggling.

Don't see why you asked if the replies offend you so much.

If you think the taste of wine outweighs the potential risk then that's your decision to make.

As for drinking when breastfeeding, unlike drinking during pregnancy, that's been proven to cause no damage to the baby unless the mother is very drunk. So that's fine and as soon as baby is born enjoy the odd glass as you wish.

FAS has been caused by low level drinking. So isn't something I'd risk.

FAS has been caused by low level drinking

For like the millionth time, source?

FAS has been caused by low level drinking

Not been proven.