Can I wear this if I'm a SAHM ?

[baggingareaunattended]

There's a few tees I like, not so keen on the girl slogan ones as I'm a women, but I like this one and the WOMAN one .. but would I be a bit of a contradiction? As it goes I'm not married, but I'm technically engaged 😬

thespark.company/collections/feminist-t-shirts/products/on-wednesdays-we-smash-the-patriarchy-fitted-v-neck-t-shirt

@FloconDeNeige do you mean Emmeline Pankhurst

@DemBonesDemBones

It was someone else who started with ‘Emily’. I just carried on. Maybe you’d like to correct them too?

*brokenbiscuitsx
The whole point of feminism (I feel) is to support women to make their own life choices (whether that’s a SAHM, working Mother or child free) and other women to support those choices.
The whole point of feminism is equal rights for women to men. It’s equality in pay, politics and social rights. You cannot redefine it.

Women supporting women is female empowerment. You are mixing the two up,

It’s a whole different discussion if a woman is empowered when she lives off a mans wages, is not economically independent, would struggle to get meaningful employment , uses her time only for domestic chores/child care so the man can work unhindered and may even have pension issues, or can’t leave a relationship that becomes abusive or has infidelity as she is powerless. That’s a whole other thread.*

I said I FEEL Jesus no wonder some people don’t want to engage with feminists or on this board, for fear of saying something ‘wrong’ have a listen to yourself.

@FloconDeNeige they can consider themselves corrected too

@DemBonesDemBones

No I am a SAHM and have been for 17 years. These are just things I do on the side because I have the time while the kids are at school. Opportunities presented so I took them. My husband has been involved sporadically, when he has time, but it’s mainly me. I renovated the house we live in too which was a massive project. I wouldn’t have called that a job. The writing kind of took me by surprise more recently, tbh.

Yes my friend is an author now - and she would call herself that as she’s earned it! But it happened gradually, once her kids started school.

What I’m trying to say is, life isn’t fixed in stone. The way you describe SAHMs is not something I recognise, at all. Honestly women who SAH long-term end up doing all sorts of things - starting businesses, voluntary or charity work. It’s not as if your whole entire life hinges in one career path and that’s it. I mean, it does for some people, but it certainly doesn’t need to. My neighbour had also been SAH over 10 years. She went to uni every Wednesday (plus her own therapy and some other stuff). They converted part of the lower ground floor into her studio and now she is a psychotherapist. She works when and as she wants. But she couldn’t have done this in her 20s as she wouldn’t have had the life-experience really. I do wish you could meet the real life SAHMs I know (which is a lot) and realise that SAHMs are as diverse as women who work. Why wouldn’t they be?

It’s like you have a stereotype of women who SAH as drudges who are doomed . Sure, some SAHMs are in unfavourable circumstances - but then so are some women who work. There are as many manifestations if SAHM as there are working women.

@FloconDeNeige

You must have struggled to look at your reflection during the time when you weren’t working and your husband paying for you to do a course.

I did. I lost my previous job when I got severe hyperemesis gravidarum in pregnancy. It also caused antenatal and postnatal depression. This time out meant I had a career gap and I was deeply uncomfortable with the situation. I wasn’t a SAHP though as the children were in crèche.

I’m sure you’ll also be aware that it’s poor form stalk people’s posting history.

Yes I’d say that too given what a cursory search showed.

You whinging about your dh ignoring your birthday and you get up early with toddlers on your birthday whilst he laid in (he could you not express yourself?)

And the fact he paid for you to study whilst you were not employed….

You say weren’t a sahp because whilst you weren’t employed, your young children / baby was in crèche made me chuckle.

You didn’t answer @FloconDeNeige how you would act if your daughter / daughter in law decided to become a sahm.

@Newmum29

I’d wear it but I’m pretty confident. I have to say when I’ve worn my “the future is female” top I get A LOT of comments so be prepped for that.

Me too but I love it. Also my Woman Up t-shirts. I wore the latter every time I went into hospital for chemotherapy. It put me in a good mood.

Our kids were born when I was 31, 33 and 36, so I was about 40 by the time they were all in school. I loved every minute of it and looking back on that time, particularly when they were little, I feel so privileged. It helps that we’re in an area with lots going on and loads if other SAHMs though. I’m not sure I could have done it alone in an isolated area. But honestly, I’d do it all again in a flash (if I had the energy). As they get to teens, they’re less needy in some ways, but more so in others. It’s just shifting sands and you adapt. But every stage has been amazing for me - like a journey and it’s still going.,, I have absolutely no regrets about being a SAHM and would do it all again if I could.

@Saladovercrispsanyday

To be honest your posts are increasingly coming across as a personal attack on me; you might want to have a word with yourself.

I don’t have daughters. If I did, obviously I’d encourage them not to give up their careers to become reliant on a man.

I’ve also paid for my DH to complete certain courses when he was between jobs, so it’s swings and roundabouts.

I’m a sahm. My youngest child is 12. I try not apologise or justify myself for this. I think it’s so important that the choices women make are respected.

[quote FloconDeNeige]@Saladovercrispsanyday

To be honest your posts are increasingly coming across as a personal attack on me; you might want to have a word with yourself.

I don’t have daughters. If I did, obviously I’d encourage them not to give up their careers to become reliant on a man.

I’ve also paid for my DH to complete certain courses when he was between jobs, so it’s swings and roundabouts.[/quote]
I hate hypocrisy
I hate judgemental people

And your posts perfectly encapsulate the above

I will leave now, don’t worry - no more advanced searches that reveal your judgmental stance to actually be shrouded in hypocrisy

@moch11

Our kids were born when I was 31, 33 and 36, so I was about 40 by the time they were all in school. I loved every minute of it and looking back on that time, particularly when they were little, I feel so privileged. It helps that we’re in an area with lots going on and loads if other SAHMs though. I’m not sure I could have done it alone in an isolated area. But honestly, I’d do it all again in a flash (if I had the energy). As they get to teens, they’re less needy in some ways, but more so in others. It’s just shifting sands and you adapt. But every stage has been amazing for me - like a journey and it’s still going.,, I have absolutely no regrets about being a SAHM and would do it all again if I could.

I don’t understand the relevance of this, no one is questioning her choice. The discussion is is she smashing the patriarchy by making it.

I mean it’s lovely and all that you loved it. But I’m not sure why it’s relevant.

You say weren’t a sahp because whilst you weren’t employed, your young children / baby was in crèche made me chuckle

What? Thats not how sahp works

@Saladovercrispsanyday

Do one then. There’s zero hypocrisy in my posts: anyone can see that from my posting history.

You say weren’t a sahp because whilst you weren’t employed, your young children / baby was in crèche made me chuckle

Why would it make you chuckle? My children were in crèche because I was job-hunting. It’s a condition of receiving unemployment benefits here in Switzerland; your children must be in childcare whilst you look for employment.

@FloconDeNeige

I think what @Saladovercrispsanyday was trying to refer too was, you saying you think it's vulnerable and stupid for a women to rely on a man, when you have relyed on a man yourself for 4 years.

I'm not saying you're wrong or right. But I think everyone needs to remember that no matter how solid we think we are, we all rely upon someone at some point in our life's as sometimes life deals you a difficult hand.

Everyone here is literally just trying to do the best by their children and that will look different for everyone.

And all this over a bloody hideous t-shirt!

Why would it make you chuckle? My children were in crèche because I was job-hunting. It’s a condition of receiving unemployment benefits here in Switzerland; your children must be in childcare whilst you look for employment.

I think maybe because you are on here judging women for being reliant on a man, when you yourself have been in that position, (but without looking after the children bit ) it just seems a tad hypercritical maybe ?

I didn’t choose those circumstances though. I got sick, subsequently lost my job and then struggled to return due to the gap. That could happen to anyone, male or female. In the past my DH relied on me when he lost his job.

This is very different to consciously choosing to become reliant on someone else long-term.

I have their woman up top and I love it, it’s really good quality and fits really well.

@FloconDeNeige

I didn’t choose those circumstances though. I got sick, subsequently lost my job and then struggled to return due to the gap. That could happen to anyone, male or female. In the past my DH relied on me when he lost his job.

This is very different to consciously choosing to become reliant on someone else long-term.

But the outcome was still the same, you were reliant on a man, do you think you should be less thought of?

Is it just being reliant on a man that's the issue, Can you be a SAHM if you are reliant on another woman ?

Is it ok if a woman can't afford to work, can she then be a SAHM as she can't find work that covers her childcare costs or must she go out and the family go into debt to ensure she is towing the Feminist line (so to speak) ?

In relationships most people lean on each other at different times in their lives, that's what a relationship is, a partnership of working together and supporting eachother

Am now searching to see if I can find a JK Rowling T-shirt..

Man who has it all has some great t shirts. I like the 'no' one- for when your husband asks you to babysit the kids

manwhohasitallshop.com/collection/women-19624/

Also no woman should ever apologise for relying a man - because (as any feminist should know) society is literally constructed around forcing us into such a position.