To think he is a bit cheeky or is this ok for you?

[astarisworn]

Partner of 18 months asked me to borrow £150 for a week ,as he got his pay date wrong.
I'm a little . He's never asked to borrow from me before. A man of 45, good job but a lot of outgoings in rent/ maintenance/ travel. He has had some Unexpected expenses this month I guess.
AIBU to think he's a bit cheeky?

Personally, I would be wary of a man who is very generous and then needs to borrow money. I prefer someone who is careful with money and doesn't get into that position.

So for me this would be a really negative thing. We're all different though.

I'm really careful with money myself which is why it would bother me.

@MrsRobbieHart

And lots of these posts are incredibly insular. There are lots of 45 year olds out there who might find themselves unable to make two ends meet now and again. Only on MN is this a dumpable offence. Lots of you don’t live in the real world.

Sure, no one disputes that. However it might not be what you want on a partner

And what we have here is a man who seemingly doesn’t know when he’s getting paid, lives hand to mouth as in spends every last penny he has and then can’t make it through and either has savings but prefers to use the ops money or is lying about it

Call me cynical but I suspect now he thinks he’s his feet under the table and as she earns more she will see regular requests, until he jist stops paying her back.

@QuantumDog2

Not cheeky in the slightest IMO. I borrow money off my partner all the time. I always give it back when I get paid despite him saying not to worry. but he literally bails me out every month. If I was in a position to help him I would too. I think id be reconsidering the relationship if we weren't willing to help one another out.

But you never bail him out? So you mean you’d reconsider the relationship if he was not willing to bail you out?

You sound delightful 🙄🙄

@Bluntness100 No, I mean I'm not in a position to bail him out. And he's not in a position to need to ask for help.
But if our roles were reversed I absolutely would, no questions asked.

He is generous but your having a fit over lending him £150?? Jeeeesus I'm having a mind meltdown right now... 18 months in!!! Your acting like he's your bloody neighbour.. A note to text you????? 😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣

I wouldn’t be too bothered, and there may come a time when he needs to reciprocate. I’d do it and see how things go. I’m coming from the point of view of a 40 year marriage with joint finances and I do appreciate that times have changed.

[quote WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy]@AFuturisticalSound I think it’s quite obvious that he wants to borrow money from OP.[/quote]
It's really not. I read posts at face value. If they make sense (which the OP's did), why would I assume it's an error? I have never heard borrow used like that

If he's your partner, aren't you in a partnership? Caring and sharing, and all that? You know why he's brassic this month, it's because of extra expenses re his son. He hasn't been drinking, gambling or spending on wild women. I wouldn't even care about getting it back. (As long, of course, as it doesn't become a one way habit).

This is why so many people would rather fall deeper into debt and financial difficulty than admit they need help and each other for it. The judgement on this thread is utterly astounding

I can be a pedant myself, but the people making these “hilarious” comments like “who does he expect you to borrow it from” (which, incidentally, should be “from whom does he expect you to borrow it?”) are being pathetic, and not as clever as you think you are.

The OP has not, as people so often do, confused borrow and lend (eg “can you borrow me £150?”). They have just said he “asked me to borrow” rather than the more exact “asked me if he could borrow.”

The meaning is pretty clear though. There’s no need to make a point about it.

In answer to the actual OP - it wouldn’t bother me after 18 months in a relationship, but I would be worried that it would become a regular thing if his child starting university is the cause of his difficulties. Surely everyone knows when they get paid (unless he has a new job I suppose).

@Bluntness100

How does he not know when he’s getting paid? How do you get that wrong

But it shows he’s living hand to mouth.

Maybe he just miscalculated. I get paid on the last Thursday of the month. Some months that'll be the 24th. Other months it'd be the 31st.

A bit cheeky/risky. You say he has savings for emergencies- he should've borrowed from himself and paid himself back when he had the money.

Weird that he asked you when he was in a position to look after himself, but chose not to. Maybe it was a bit of a test.

18 months isn't massively long.

Mind how you go OP. xxx

@astarisworn

I know he has emergency savings but he has those for absolute emergencies ... life and death type emergencies. He needs to sort himself out financially.

He has emergency savings but is borrowing money from you??? Nope.

Maybe he just miscalculated. I get paid on the last Thursday of the month. Some months that'll be the 24th. Other months it'd be the 31st.

Possibly. It’s no my scene though, I am financially independent and I would not wish to be with someone who couldn’t manage their own money to this extreme. For some it would be irrelevant, but not for me.

Who was trying to be hilarious? 'Ask me to borrow' means 'ask me to request a loan'.

Not sure why people are being so snotty about people misunderstanding

Perhaps it's a regional thing but never come across it

@Dillydollydingdong

If he's your partner, aren't you in a partnership? Caring and sharing, and all that? You know why he's brassic this month, it's because of extra expenses re his son. He hasn't been drinking, gambling or spending on wild women. I wouldn't even care about getting it back. (As long, of course, as it doesn't become a one way habit).

Sounds like boyfriend rather than partner...

I also agree with those who think its strange that a 45 year old man needs to borrow £150 to save tapping into his own "emergency" savings.

Not cheeky but he should be using his savings not borrowing. Be careful or you'll become his personal overdraft.

Suspect some of the responses would be different if th op had used the correct term, boyfriend, and not partner.

It doesn’t seem he’s her partner, they don’t live together or share finances. He’s a boyfriend of eighteen months

Some folks are hung up on the semantics.

@Heiferr I'm only judging because the OP says he is 'very generous'. That implies to me someone who is throwing around money they haven't got, rather than someone who is struggling to make ends meet.

Ooh and presume OP is female. Other way round - financial abuse

@QuantumDog2

Not cheeky in the slightest IMO. I borrow money off my partner all the time. I always give it back when I get paid despite him saying not to worry. but he literally bails me out every month. If I was in a position to help him I would too. I think id be reconsidering the relationship if we weren't willing to help one another out.

If your partner has to bail you out every month, and would be quite happy for you to keep it, but you always give it back after you get paid, then I have a suggestion for you.

Why don’t you keep the money that he gives you one month, as he is happy for you to do this. Then when you get paid, instead of paying him back, put that amount of money in a separate account of your own. Then when you get to the end of the month and have no money, you can bail yourself out!

Repeat this every month (paying it back into your own account after pay day) and then your partner will never have to bail you out again, instead of you having to ask him every month, which might be better for both of you.