To not want to say my pronouns

[Bamechage]

Completely happy to get roasted here and for people to tell me I’m wrong but I’m a woman and my name is always mistaken for a man as I shorten it to unisex. I enjoy the ambiguity of it and that in written correspondence people don’t know. Where I work have made it mandatory and I understand it’s to be more inclusive but I liked people not knowing. Have I completely missed the point here and aibu?

I've just been pulled up at work for not sharing my pronouns. So I've added "They/Their " to my email signature.
It's ridiculous.
Even Mr and Mrs is ridiculous when you think about it.
Why does whether I'm a man or a woman count more than anything else about me? And yet it comes before even our names.

Dear MNHQ
Please could we have an emoji for ‘thought-limiting-cliche’, so we can deploy it easily when people come on the say things like ‘debating people’s right to exist’, or indeed ‘TWAW’?

They are trying to play a joker to guilt trip women into Being Kind, and it distracts the grown ups from talking.
Many thanks, Mrs Wooster (fo/fy)

@RAFHercules

I've just been pulled up at work for not sharing my pronouns. So I've added "They/Their " to my email signature. It's ridiculous. Even Mr and Mrs is ridiculous when you think about it. Why does whether I'm a man or a woman count more than anything else about me? And yet it comes before even our names.

Not even that. Why should women have to declare their sex and marital status?

(I don’t use Mrs anyway, ever.)

I've just been pulled up at work for not sharing my pronouns. So I've added "They/Their " to my email signature.

Again, this is as inclusive as forcing people to declare a sexuality/religion/race.

Zero cost for anybody who feels that they will not suffer discrimination.

It's astounding that the policy has been sold as progressive. It just highlights how little progress has been made.

I would put a sentence that says I have no preference for my pronoun and people are welcome to use whatever they choose .

For me this is because I refuse to be drawn into the while transgender debate and I also believe women are treated worse than men in things like email correspondence. If my name was a neutral one,. I'd enjoy observing people's reaction when they meet me too

@RAFHercules

I've just been pulled up at work for not sharing my pronouns. So I've added "They/Their " to my email signature. It's ridiculous. Even Mr and Mrs is ridiculous when you think about it. Why does whether I'm a man or a woman count more than anything else about me? And yet it comes before even our names.

If I were you I'd take out they/them and put he/him. Seeing as they/them clearly outs you as a woman.

Or I'd put a line about not having a gender identity as above. I'd not be giving the false impression I hold this belief any more than I'd have 'in Jesus name, amen' on my professional email.

Can you suggest the have a theme each months. January - inclusive pronouns, February - BLM, March - Supporting AgeUk?

So, properly inclusive of all the protected characteristics not just one. Or, maybe just keep work focused on work and just have job title and department.

I wouldn’t do it either and I think it’s important to broadcast why so that others who may feel uncomfortable with the concept but who are unable to articulate why, can feel that they too can legitimately refuse.

I don’t believe in gender identity ideology

YANBU in a world where women are discriminated in the work place and sex is a protected characteristic, why should women be made to tell people their pronouns. Please show your work this article

www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/heres-what-happened-when-a-man-pretended-to-be-a-woman-at-work-hint-his-job-got-.html

Women get treated differently at work even by email just because people assume they are women, if we go around telling everyone we are women it'll just be worse

"I haven't decided them yet" with a big smile.

@Stompythedinosaur

I'm not sure I understand Warmdusher , are you saying that because disabled people aren't adequately supported (and I fully agree they aren't) we should make sure other groups don't receive support either? That doesn't make sense to me.

I’m sorry you don’t understand.

What I’m saying is that transgender people are being put front and centre of every new policy in the workplace, facilities are being changed to suit their chosen identity at any given moment, pronouns on emails are being pushed as the norm, language in use since time immemorial is being changed to ensure they feel “safe”.

And still you’re claiming they’re oppressed? Try being disabled in the workplace and seeing how many changes put you front and centre of every discussion.

How can they make it mandatory?! I don't use them either but my name is unmistakenly female.

What I’m saying is that transgender people are being put front and centre of every new policy in the workplace, facilities are being changed to suit their chosen identity at any given moment, pronouns on emails are being pushed as the norm, language in use since time immemorial is being changed to ensure they feel “safe”.

YES!

My preferred pronouns are 'Take a wild fucking guess'. I'm sorry, but this has gotten ridiculous.

@NotAnotherPylon

My preferred pronouns are 'Take a wild fucking guess'. I'm sorry, but this has gotten ridiculous.

Love this one! 👏🏻

Ah, I do understand now. You see things as a race to the bottom. Disabled people's rights aren't being respected, so transgender people shouldn't be respected either.

It's like whenever I joint a discussion about feminism, there always seems to be a man pointing about the higher suicide rate for men. My response is that they are welcome to campaign around that but it does not mean I shouldn't campaign for woman's rights.

Do you think that if transgender rights had less support, that support would be moved to disabled people instead? I dont think that would happen. Putting pronouns on emails gets support as a policy because it doesn't cost anything.

I would support any campaign to improve the situation for disabled people in the workplace, but their difficulties don't mean that transgender people can't campaign for their own rights, or that I can support both groups.

The above was in response to warmducher comments above.

Transgender people don’t have the right to impose their ideology on me, or to change my identity or impose labels that I don’t ascribe to. Which insisting everyone labels themselves with their pronouns does.

@KingsleyShacklebolt

I have a friend called Lee. She is a woman. Her point of view is that people should treat you the same whether you are a man called Lee or a woman called Lee so why should she have to put Lee Smith she/her?

Piece of nonsense.

The thing about this is that when people reply they'll either have to say "Dear Lee", or if they need to be more formal you can bet it'll be "Dear Mr Smith". Or they could do the time-honoured Dear Sir or Madam or Dear M/Ms Smith. So that's the only benefit I can see from all this. But doubtless this isn't why it's happening so universally..Why have so many companies been taken in? A small group of vocal people?

don't mean that transgender people can't campaign for their own rights

What rights don't trans people have?

Putting pronouns on emails gets support as a policy because it doesn't cost anything.

Well yes. Because companies can then say that they are 'inclusive' without actually having to do anything to materially change their employees lives and make their workplaces inclusive. Why bother putting money into improving access for employees with sight loss, or accommodations for those who need more support accessing the workplace due to mental health barriers, or improving support for pregnant women who have a pregnancy related health issue, or providing support to women going through the menopause, or addressing institutional racism within recruitment practices, or tackling poor support in terms of wages and training for young people coming into the workforce, or tackling homophobic bullying at work?

Just ignore all the other protected groups who could do with support in the workplace, make everyone change their email signature and hey presto! The company can pat themselves on the back for being 'inclusive'.

Say you don't identify as having any pronouns.

Exactly, something like, 'Cecily does not wish to be referred to by any pronouns. Cecily insists that you refer to Cecily as Cecily at all times!'

Disabled people's rights aren't being respected, so transgender people shouldn't be respected either.

Try a more affirmative take on it:

If only people gave as much of a shit about disabled people’s rights as they did about transgender rights.

This is brilliant. Only a few seconds long: pronouns cat

Don’t think they can legally force you. Just give your name as your pronoun if you feel you must give something.

Yours sincerely
Morrison’s ( Morrison’s)

Instead of

Yours sincerely
Morrison’s ( they/them).
That’s what I would do. Can’t be doing with all this tripe.