To not want to say my pronouns

[Bamechage]

Completely happy to get roasted here and for people to tell me I’m wrong but I’m a woman and my name is always mistaken for a man as I shorten it to unisex. I enjoy the ambiguity of it and that in written correspondence people don’t know. Where I work have made it mandatory and I understand it’s to be more inclusive but I liked people not knowing. Have I completely missed the point here and aibu?

Tell them you are gender free and find the concept of pronouns too narrow for how you like to express your being.

en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/gender-free

Thank God I'm self employed and don't have to deal with this pronouns shit!!!

I am completely opposed to the anti-trans sentiment of Mumsnet and believe that TWAW

We are not anti trans, we are pro women.
I dont think any single one of us gives a shit what any mans wears/calls himself/does. So long as it's not in women only spaces.

@Macncheeseballs

Yanbu, although pronouns are useful on bank cards cos it cuts out 50% of the population as potential fraudsters

I've never had a pronoun on a bank card? Hows that work? A man states he is a woman today (see pips bunce for precedence) and ta da he is a woman, hows that help fraud?

@Stompythedinosaur

You clearly know you won't be roasted on mn for this perspective so yabu to suggest you may be. There is a thread on this every couple of days.

For what it's worth I think yabu not to be willing to endure a very slight inconvenience in order to support an oppressed minority.

“Oppressed minority”?

If disabled people had half the support in the workplace that transactivists demand of everyone else, they would probably feel all their Christmases had come at once.

I'm not sure I understand Warmdusher , are you saying that because disabled people aren't adequately supported (and I fully agree they aren't) we should make sure other groups don't receive support either? That doesn't make sense to me.

@HollowTalk

Oh ffs just looked up Ed Davey on Twitter:

husband, father, carer, and MP for Kingston & Surbiton. Campaigning for a greener, fairer and more caring country. He/him

There has never been a female MP for Kingston & Surbiton, or the previous constituencies from which it was formed.

I am assuming that Warmdusher is referencing the fact that there are 9 protected characteristics under the Equality Act and many organisations are doing lots to be inclusive of one protected group (gender re-assignment) while doing nothing at all to be inclusive of other protected groups, in her example - people with a disability. There's all sorts of 'pronoun promises' and the like to make workplaces more 'inclusive' for those who are questioning or have changed their gender but there's no corresponding focus on other protected characteristics.

^I'm not sure I understand Warmdusher , are you saying that because disabled people aren't adequately supported (and I fully agree they aren't) we should make sure other groups don't receive support either? That doesn't make sense to me*

You haven’t explained why insisting that people declare a gender is supportive of anyone.

We are not anti trans, we are pro women

CAN I GET AN AMEN.

Also how can you force people to call you by a particular pronoun? Great if John identifies as a woman or a she but if I don’t believe in this or I don’t want to call him she then why should i?

For what it's worth I think yabu not to be willing to endure a very slight inconvenience in order to support an oppressed minority.

Since when has having to work in a workplace where management impose a policy which is both misogynistic and transphobic , thereby creating a toxic working environment for some staff, "enduring a slight inconvenience" Forcing people to out themselves and others to put themselves in positions where they will suffer sex discrimination is bullying in the workplace.

God I forgot how many truly nasty people on here "don't believe in gender" it's not a unicorn, it's real people and who they are and it is horrible. Imagine people not thinking you had a right to exist?

The people exist and you know that's not what is meant
Gender as a belief system exists
I choose not to subscribe
I strongly resist any attempt to ascribe a gender to me.

And as a woman I am beyond irritated at being told that people with penises and beards are also women. That 'women' as a group made up of those who are female adults doesn't exist. But I don't extrapolate that to I as an individual not existing.

My preferred pronouns: Fuck/Off

it's real people and who they are and it is horrible. Imagine people not thinking you had a right to exist?

Nobody’s right to exist is threatened if they fail to impose gender on others, i.e. force them to declare pronouns.

Plenty of private sector businesses are doing this.

The world is not as simple as private sector good, public sector bad.

I thought we were moving away from labelling people this to me is such a backward step.

Indeed. In 1983 when starting my first lwa job I put my signature on my first letter as y first two initials and then surname as I didn't want the recipients to know I was female (in case there was discrimination). My boss told me to add "Mrs" (I was married) so that scotched that attempt at the first pass......

My boss told me to add "Mrs" (I was married) so that scotched that attempt at the first pass......

The more things change the more they stay the same!

Thos is all such time wasting bollocks in my opinion. I think we should all just refuse to engage,

@Worldgonecrazy

Just use ‘they/them’ which is on the saner side of ridiculous or ‘zhe/zhey’ if you really want to show how insane it all is.

This does reinforce the actual ideology which people who don't want to state pronouns might find oppressive.

I won't use they/them. If pushed I would say something like I am agender and if the pronoun preference is understood as a statement about my identity than I can state no preference.

For what it's worth I think yabu not to be willing to endure a very slight inconvenience in order to support an oppressed minority.

It’s not a very slight inconvenience for me to be forced into publicly supporting an ideology I don’t believe in.

Imagine people not thinking you had a right to exist?

By your logic I don't have to imagine. You are saying that disagreeing with someone or not seeing the world the same as they do is 'not thinking you had a right to exist'. So gender ideologists don't think I or most of MN have a right to exist.

Can we have proper discussion rather than unhelpful emotive tag lines?

I am completely opposed to the anti-women sentiment of gender ideologists and believe that we need a language to describe the experiences (including physical) of people with XX chromosome.

No one is threatening anyone's right to exist.

It's the right to move incumbered into women's previously safe or ringfenced places that we have a problem.

The Olympics was a great example. One transwomen competing in the correct catagory in golf. Well done, well deserved.

One took a place from a young woman half the age of them- and were only able to do this by using the privilege their male body having gone through puberty afforded them. So women and others were naturally upset that someone had lost out due to this unfairness.

Do you say praise Allah to your Muslim colleagues and wear a veil to signify inclusion? Do you proclaim that your Catholic friends drink the blood of Christ?

Tolerance means you don't force your opinion or stop people from doing the above. It doesn't mean you need to adopt their religious leanings