Wedding date problem

[scrapingalongthebottom]

DC is marrying someone from another European country and they plan to get married there. They have chosen their wedding date for the summer without a courtesy check with myself and DH. DH is a teacher and they have chosen a school day, which is pretty tricky for him. Because the wedding is in another country, travelling there and back will add further days to the wedding. They are refusing to consider other dates and say they have made their mind up with no explanation to us about why this date is essential. DH and I feel pretty gutted that a) everything has been arranged without telling us. b) they knowingly chose a date they knew DH will be teaching. AIBU?

I’m sorry, I know it’s their wedding their choice but there’s no way you grow up with a parent who’s a teacher and not think to allow for school holidays when planning your wedding.

Either they genuinely didn’t think, or someone is meddling behind the scenes to drive a wedge between new spouse and their English family.

@february45

We never checked dates with anyone. Our parents booked unpaid leave (2 of them teachers) and were very happy to do so. Same when my DC was born , there are some events that you can book unpaid leave for and not complain 😬

Some HTs wouldn't allow it.

@peboh

I'm extremely close with my family, however I never checked dates with them before booking my wedding. Dh and I chose a date that suited us, gave people plenty of notice and that was that. A wedding is about the couple, and they obviously have a reason for choosing the date they have. All your dh can do is try to get the time off.

So would you have not cared if they couldn't come?

@maddy68

And in fairness they must have chosen that date for a reason perhaps it's special to them.

How ridiculous. A date’s a date. ‘Special’ would be a date people can attend.

@Nanny0gg honestly, no. As long as I got to marry my husband it wouldn't have mattered who was there to see it. We were going to elope, and my family was perfectly okay with that. We only didn't because his family kicked up such a fuss that we ended up compromising massively and I don't have the best memories of our wedding day due to all of that.

That sucks

I would have loved to have my mum at our wedding this year but she died 7yrs ago

Obv they know their dad is a teacher. Can’t take time off easily in term time

Save a day but not a few if have to travel as well

Is it a week day

Or could they fly out late Friday to location

Where are they getting married