Partner violent when sugars are low.

[Badlytornfrube]

My good friend has recently had a baby with her partner. He is a type 1 diabetic and has had trouble stabilising his sugars since a recent injury.

He has very verbally aggressive and has pushed her. Two weeks ago he bit her on the arm. Each time he has blamed it on a sugar low and has gone to the GP to ask for help with this. My friend thinks this is not a reason to leave and not his fault because of the sugars. He has never been violent towards his kids from a previous relationship or the new baby.

I think the blood sugar excuse is bollocks and she should run for the hills. The fact he has never hurt the kids proves he can control himself. She is financially fine and has a flat to go to.
Has anyone had any experience of low sugar causing violence? Is he responsible? Should she leave?

YABU not his fault
YANBU she should leave

Bullshit. I am a diabetic and can get a little hangry when my sugars are low. But its no more than a lighthearted rant at my
Long suffering DH who will then fetch me a slice of toast lol. I certainly would never ever be nasty towards any of the family!

Aaaand here we go again...

@Houseofvelour

Diabetics can become violent when having a hypo and there was a case about a decade ago where a man murdered his wife and was completely unaware. That being said, it's still not an excuse. She should leave.

Apparently we’re not allowed to be concerned. Anyone expressing concern for this woman is shouted down as ableist.

@TSSDNCOP actually it wasn’t a direct quote by me. You need to read again!! WORD FOR WORD and stop stirring and twisting it!

How do you know I haven’t got a condition listed in the equality act? You don’t do you!
I do not see myself as disabled and I have pointed out that not everyone sees themselves as having a disability.
I am fully aware of type 1 diabetes and the difficulty they face. There are lots of conditions that no one understands and they also face daily struggles. The same condition may be different for different people!
And as I’ve pointed out, not everyone classes themselves as having a disability! If someone wants to class themselves as disabled then fine. If they don’t they don’t!

[quote bakebeans]@CurzonDax. I am fully well aware of this!
Under the Equality Act 2010, a person is recognised as disabled if he or she has a long-lasting (ie lasting more than 12 months) physical or mental impairment that impacts substantially on his or her ability to carry out day-to-day activities.

This includes a multitude of conditions but many people do not see themselves as disabled however if you want to do that then crack on! I have friends and family members with type 1 diabetes and other conditions covered in the above but they do not see themselves as disabled.

I know that if it was my child with type 1 diabetes or any other condition named above, I certainly wouldn’t be drumming into their head they are disabled. I would be encouraging them to chase their dreams but each to their own![/quote]
FFS a disability doesn't mean you can't chase your dreams! What a disgusting attitude.

Plenty of diabetic people have chased their dreams, Gary Mabbutt is a type 1 diabetic who played for England. Theresa May is a type 1 diabetic who became British Prime Minister. Brett Michaels is a type 1 diabetic who is lead singer of a rock band. Halle Berry is a type 1 diabetic who is a Hollywood actor. Sir Steve Redgrave was an insulin dependent type 2 diabetic when he won his fifth gold medal.

Plenty of people with all kinds of disabilities, have chased their dreams and achieved amazing things. You only have to watch the Paralympics to see that.

Hi all, Let's keep this thread on track please, for the mods' sake if nothing else... Thanks

Well done @EstherMumsnet who wants the mods getting tired of posters telling disabled posters they're not trying hard enough.

One of the things a learnt recently on a first aid course is that you need to base your assessment solely on what you see around you. A person acting out violently would often be put down to alcohol however this can happen with diabetics having a hypo. Their levels drop so far and its a kind Od seizure where they have no idea it is happening. So it's entirely possible this man is telling the truth. He needs to see his doctor and monitor his blood sugar levels and diet properly. If he cannot manage his condition and these episodes continue then yes your friend should either seek help for him or leave.

Late to the party but it can happen. My mum hit me and threw a bottle of orange at a paramedic when her sugars were super low.

In my experience it's hyper's that cause behaviour that is unusual. Hypo's everyone knows the procedure, grabs the jelly babies and acts accordingly (I've seen him get a bit intense over the jelly Babies but that's about it.) It's hyper's that I've witnessed symptoms like being drunk/altered. I can vividly remember a J2O sugar mistake on NYE where once levels were reduced there was a discernible back in the room moment for the T1 diabetic concerned.

@cricketmum84

Bullshit. I am a diabetic and can get a little hangry when my sugars are low. But its no more than a lighthearted rant at my Long suffering DH who will then fetch me a slice of toast lol. I certainly would never ever be nasty towards any of the family!

Then lucky you. Hypos are NOT the same for everyone.

In the same way that any illness or condition varies by individual.

@cricketmum84

Bullshit. I am a diabetic and can get a little hangry when my sugars are low. But its no more than a lighthearted rant at my Long suffering DH who will then fetch me a slice of toast lol. I certainly would never ever be nasty towards any of the family!

Are you on insulin?? A severe hypo isn’t blood sugar just ‘getting a bit low’ - it is a sudden drop to dangerous levels. Dangerous as in the person could lose consciousness, go into a coma, etc. It’s not being a bit hangry.

And why would your DH be fetching you a slice of toast?? The treatment for hypos is fast-acting glucose or sugar - ie Dextro or Lift Glucose tablets, full sugar Coca Cola, full sugar Lucozade, jelly babies, etc. If all you need is a slice of toast, it’s not a severe hypo at all.

You have a really strange view @bakebeans
It's really not about "classing yourself as disabled" it's not like it's a badge or a certificate you get. It's about having the same opportunities & rights as people who don't have long term chronic health problems.
Surely that's a good thing?
If my employer wanted to sack me because I have to check my blood glucose/treat a hypo/administer insulin then that's where the equality act protects me. Because T1D is classed as a disability and so it should be.

Yep aggressive behaviour abs verbal abuse during a hypo is definitely a thing. I was married to a Type 1 diabetic for 17 years abs experienced this many times. He lost his warning signs of low sugar levels too so it often came out of nowhere. These days pumps and the continuous blood sugar monitors should help - talk to his consultant OP. I feel for you - it is not just the diabetic who has to endure the awful side effects - it's their family too.

@ArcheryAnnie

Every man who hits a woman has an excuse for doing so. Every one of them. None of those excuses are good enough.

Oh come on. I wouldn’t hold it against my husband if he hit me while in a hyper or any other kind of medical fit. But I would have to protect myself against future episodes, he is much bigger than me and there is absolutely no way I am a suitable candidate to try to get him to take medication while violent, nor would he think so.

What a derail. Diabetes is a disability, you don’t have to feel disabled to qualify for protection against discrimination but you’re denying reality to claim it’s not a disability. My mum never lived her life like someone disabled, moved us all over the world, walked us to school, ran the house like a well oiled machine. She couldn’t walk without a leg brace and has a solid grasp of reality so knew she qualified as disabled.

FGS it is NOT an ‘excuse’. In the case of a severe hypo it is a medical emergency which the person (Male or female) cannot do anything about at that stage.

How dare you make comparisons with people who choose to be violent.

Go spout your uneducated, medically inaccurate bullshit somewhere else.

Who made you thread police, @Ninkanink ? @ArcheryAnnie said nothing bad, just defended women.

@Cadent

Who made you thread police, *@Ninkanink ? @ArcheryAnnie* said nothing bad, just defended women.

No, she didn’t. She implied someone suffering a severe hypo was using it as an excuse and was, in reality, violent. That’s a disgusting allegation to make - and pig-ignorant too.

@TSSDNCOP you haven’t mentioned the rest of it! NOt a direct quote! Read agin!!!

Actually I felt that the point @ArcheryAnnie was making was more nuanced than that.

You all seem to catastrophise and see the worst in any post with a difference of opinion. Shouting people down not win them over.

People can say what they like of course. But if they’re being ignorant and spouting bullshit I absolutely will challenge them and pull them up on it.

I will fiercely defend men and women who are suffering a severe system collapse - It is a medical emergency and is entirely separate from domestic violence.

Slogans and sound bites from people who are clearly utterly clueless do not belong on a thread like this. But of course that individual is free to state their views. Doesn’t mean I won’t react passionately since it’s something I live with and have extensive experience and knowledge about.

I’ve said my piece on this thread now and won’t engage any further.

@Ninkanink is completely correct. It's so sad you can't read and understand what people have been explaining. It's not rocket science. This has nothing to do with dv at all. Nothing to do with excuses or being male either. Go and try learning what this is actually about instead of jumping to incorrect assumptions. You make yourselves look very ignorant unfortunately.

No, it wasn’t nuanced.it implied this man was making up an excuse. If you think someone suffering a bad hypo has the brain-power to think about abusing their partner and using the hypo as an excuse, then that’s madness. Moreover, from the OP, we can see that the woman recognised the hypo - ie it was real.

Presumably all the other people in this thread who were unlucky enough to have a bad hypo and acted out of character by lunging at people, throwing things, etc, are all just making excuses too?