Partner violent when sugars are low.

[Badlytornfrube]

My good friend has recently had a baby with her partner. He is a type 1 diabetic and has had trouble stabilising his sugars since a recent injury.

He has very verbally aggressive and has pushed her. Two weeks ago he bit her on the arm. Each time he has blamed it on a sugar low and has gone to the GP to ask for help with this. My friend thinks this is not a reason to leave and not his fault because of the sugars. He has never been violent towards his kids from a previous relationship or the new baby.

I think the blood sugar excuse is bollocks and she should run for the hills. The fact he has never hurt the kids proves he can control himself. She is financially fine and has a flat to go to.
Has anyone had any experience of low sugar causing violence? Is he responsible? Should she leave?

YABU not his fault
YANBU she should leave

My son would not class himself as disabled. He doesn't remember life ever being any different. He accepts that is how things are and has no choice but to get on with things. My heart does break for him though in some ways because I know that actually he will never have known the carefree way of living without type 1 diabetes. That is his normal.

I think this thread shows so well that people just do not understand hidden disabilities at all. Just because somebody appears on the surface to be living what you call a "normal life" you really have no idea what is truly going on in their lives and the things they have to do to do those "normal" things.
We even have people who are close to us, who see a lot of what we go through that I can honestly say still just don't "get it" and don't understand just how serious and all consuming it is.

@LoislovesStewie I hear you totally on the school issues. We had problem after problem. The big one was getting them to understand that he needed his kit with him at all times and that if he needed to fix a hypo it had to be done right there where he was and quickly. Not wandering around the school trying to find a medical room like you say. That's a whole different thread though as I could write forever about what we went through with school and the discrimination he faced at such a young age.

@TatianaBis

It's also about a man who has taken all the steps possible to ensure this doesn't happen again.

Except that it’s not necessarily that easy to control and so he can’t guarantee it won’t happen again.

So should all diabetics be alone just in case their hypos cause aggression?

DP is T1 diabetic and is he is having a hypo his personality changes significantly-he has never been aggressive but can become stroppy and difficult to be around.
Injury, illness and sometimes just bad luck can cause hypos.

Indeed @CurzonDax it’s easy peasy. Sugars low - eat. Sugars high - take insulin. At least that’s most people’s understanding of it. Good luck with pregnancy too- another amazing yet stressful diabetes time with lots more fun hormones added in.!

Also - to all those thinking sensors are magical: they are helpful and much appreciated, but don’t catch every hypo quick enough. I believe there to be a 10 min delay on them compared to what your blood sugar is doing. So if it’s dropping fast it might not tell you fast enough!

@TatianaBis

Curzon - this thread isn’t about you and your DH. It’s about a man who’s lashing out in a house with a small baby.

A small baby has protected status as much as a disability and the scant regard for the safety of the baby in your post is strange.

If a reaction to a hypo involves behaviour that could endanger a baby then the partner must consider the baby’s safety. Full stop.

@TatianaBis

I assume the baby won’t be providing medical care to him. The risk is to the person providing care - the mother of the child in question. As an adult, it’s up to her to decide.

@CurzonDax also you do know type 2 diabetes is also covered in the act too don’t you. In years to come that will be most of the population seeing themselves as having a ‘disability’ if referring to the Equality act!

I assume the baby won’t be providing medical care to him. The risk is to the person providing care - the mother of the child in question. As an adult, it’s up to her to decide.

The risk is to anyone in the way when he goes hypo - which is unpredictable.

@bakebeans I find your views on what does and does not constitute disability according to your narrow minded definition utterly risible.

You're actually arguing with people that have a disability that they should just crack on!
Thank god the Equality Act exists.

Would you like to take a shot at whether any of the other protected characteristics are valid enough.

@bakebeans you realise that having a disability and chasing your dreams are not mutually exclusive, right? And that refusing to recognize a disability doesnt actually make the person in question any less disabled?

@Porcupineintherough I know what a disability is. I have a disabled parent. Did you know that like a

@Porcupineintherough so what do u class as a disability? Everyone is different. Did u know that?

@CurzonDax and others, I apologise and send you my greatest empathy. I have reported that poster.

@TSSDNCOP. I believe you have re phrased my words and in what way exactly how am I narrow minded?? You certainly like to cause drama. Twitter is good for that if you need to vent!

Not everyone sees themselves as disabled! That is my point!!! My family member has lived with a ‘chronic health condition’ for 30 years. It’s covered in the above Equality Act! Some people believe if they are labelled as disabled it puts them at a disadvantage! Stop twisting words

@TSSDNCOP I have reported you too!

Again, let me just drop in a direct quote, from you to a poster that explained her own disability (not someone you googled in top 10 slightly famous people with diabetes) to you very eloquently:

"however if you want to do that then crack on!"

@TSSDNCOP read again maybe as it wasn’t put like that?

It's a direct quote. By you.

If MNHQ pull my posts I will sleep easy.

For anyone in doubt the legal definition of a disability

*The definition is set out in section 6 of the Equality Act 2010. It says you’re disabled if:

you have a physical or mental impairment
that impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on your ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities*

And whether someone sees themselves as disabled isn’t actually relevant in terms on the legal test for disability. They may not see themselves as disabled but if they where discrimated against on the basis of their disability they would still be covered by the legislation to protect them

@Badlytornfrube

My good friend has recently had a baby with her partner. He is a type 1 diabetic and has had trouble stabilising his sugars since a recent injury.

He has very verbally aggressive and has pushed her. Two weeks ago he bit her on the arm. Each time he has blamed it on a sugar low and has gone to the GP to ask for help with this. My friend thinks this is not a reason to leave and not his fault because of the sugars. He has never been violent towards his kids from a previous relationship or the new baby.

I think the blood sugar excuse is bollocks and she should run for the hills. The fact he has never hurt the kids proves he can control himself. She is financially fine and has a flat to go to.
Has anyone had any experience of low sugar causing violence? Is he responsible? Should she leave?

YABU not his fault
YANBU she should leave

It can cause aggression. My mother gets shouty when low, and one of my residents, sweetest and kindest man you could ever meet turns into Satan if his sugars drop too low. He’s a brittle diabetic so it’s sadly happening more often now.