Partner violent when sugars are low.

[Badlytornfrube]

My good friend has recently had a baby with her partner. He is a type 1 diabetic and has had trouble stabilising his sugars since a recent injury.

He has very verbally aggressive and has pushed her. Two weeks ago he bit her on the arm. Each time he has blamed it on a sugar low and has gone to the GP to ask for help with this. My friend thinks this is not a reason to leave and not his fault because of the sugars. He has never been violent towards his kids from a previous relationship or the new baby.

I think the blood sugar excuse is bollocks and she should run for the hills. The fact he has never hurt the kids proves he can control himself. She is financially fine and has a flat to go to.
Has anyone had any experience of low sugar causing violence? Is he responsible? Should she leave?

YABU not his fault
YANBU she should leave

[RealBecca]

I think he probably struggles to control the aggression. However, he should want to resolve his issue woth comtrolling his sugars to keep them stable and a decent partner wpuld insist on moving out until he was sure he wasnt a danger.

So it think there is some truth that it is difficult to control the aggression but there are steps that a good person would take to ensure they are not a danger.

[romdowa]

It's not very common but it does happen. My father can get very aggressive when he is in a hypo. Her partner needs to sort this though. You can get a sensor called the free style libre that will constantly monitor his levels for him , so that he can be aware his levels are dropping before they dip too low and correct them.

[Badlytornfrube]

@SpittinKitten thanks for the extract. Maybe he cannot control it.

[Embracelife]

It doesn't matter why.
He cannot live in same house til is stable
She can be bitten and live
Baby is different story

[Badlytornfrube]

@Allllchange he broke his leg. No head injury.

[DancinAtTheDisco]

What was the nature of the recent injury? I think that's probably very relevant. Usually I would say YANBU but without knowing what the injury was and why it's changed how his diabetes affects him it's not really possible to say.

[Badlytornfrube]

@Embracelife I completely agree.

[DancinAtTheDisco]

Broken leg?? What's that got to do with how his diabetes is controlled?

[iwillalwaysloveyou]

severe hypos can absolutely cause diabetics to become violent, I’ve seen it happen with various people (im a HCP).

You said yourself you don’t know much about type 1 diabetes

[ImprobablePuffin]

Even if he can't control it (which I doubt) that doesn't mean she has to put up with it.
Violence is violence whatever the cause.

[thelegohooverer]

If I had a treatable disorder that caused me to be violent to my partner, I’d leave and stay away for their protection until I had sorted myself out and was certain that I wasn’t a danger to them.

Diabetes might be an explantation but it shouldn’t be an excuse.

[Sirzy]

He is seeking medical help to sort the issue so to me that would mean to stay with him even if it meant a short term split for safety while the medical side is sorted

[cactijones]

It isn't bollocks, low blood sugar does cause aggression and it's one of the signs we look out for with our patients. Her needs to get it under control

[Dashinghaberdashery]

Why would diabetes make someone bite his partner's arm, she isn't made of sugar.

[ConstantlySeekingHappiness]

Does he also bite his

Boss?
Colleagues?
Friends?
Parents?
Siblings?
Postman?

I dare say he can control himself when it suits him.

[mikeyboo]

Hypoglycaemia can cause some people to become aggressive and/or disoriented. However, whether the aggression is being caused by low blood sugar or not, there is zero obligation to stay in the relationship.

Intimate relationships are not about equal opportunities - even if his aggression is being caused by a disability out of his control, there is also no obligation whatsoever to remain in a relationship with him.

[Annoyedanddissapointed]

Whether he can or cannot control it essentially doesn't matter. He is violent and abusive. She should not have to tolerate just because he found a somewhat plausible by reach excuse has diabetes

[MumInBrussels]

As others have said, low blood sugar can make you irritable and snappy and a bit of an arsehole. But that's not an excuse for being violent, past the age of about 2... I'd struggle to stay with anyone who actually bit me, regardless of the reason. And I think your friend should consider whether her partner is really doing everything he can to manage his own response to bad moods, regardless of what's causing the bad mood.

[SpittinKitten]

@DancinAtTheDisco

Broken leg?? What's that got to do with how his diabetes is controlled?

More than you might think. Any regular exercise you took which helped with regulating your glucose levels goes out the window. Injury is known to make blood sugars fluctuate.

[Lougle]

Diabetic people have died because people assume that their erratic and aggressive behaviour is due to drunkenness. It does affect behaviour and often a hypo creeps in so the subtle signs aren't registered. Having said that, it doesn't make violence ok.

[thingymaboob]

I'm a paramedic and have been to countless hypoglycaemic emergencies and I can assure you that some people do become agitated, aggressive and sometimes violent. Not most, but a small number. You can't dismiss it.

[MatildaIThink]

Low blood sugar can cause aggression in diabetics, it can cause a whole host of issues (including delusions), but he is being unreasonable in not keeping his diabetes under control to a level where it causes these kind of issues.

[mikeyboo]

@DancinAtTheDisco

Broken leg?? What's that got to do with how his diabetes is controlled?

Painkillers, other medications, change in mobility/activity levels could all influence glucose control.

[DeathStare]

If he had a medical condition that was causing me to be violent and this was beyond my control, I would absolutely insist my children lived elsewhere where they were safe - even though doing so would break my heart - at least until I knew my condition was under control and I wasnt going to hurt them. I don't have a partner, but if I did it would be the same for them.

It is possible his blood sugars are behind the aggression. It's also possible thats an excuse. At the end of the day if he loves his DP and DC he would want them to be safe, and if that meant not being with them until this was under control, that's what he'd do.