do people who got married young feel envious of people who got married older 35+?

[RetroMy]

Sometimes?

married young I mean 18-24 years old vs over 35 years old.

I do because being married young didn’t give you a chance to develop your interests as an individual or sexually because you were too busy pleasing someone else at that age. Trying to make a relationship last that started that young is difficult and having children young would mean you didn’t get a chance to experience youth by yourself.

Anyone else?

I feel like I’m ready to start my life over again. Now. No longer together and happier.

It's not remotely the same travelling alone as travelling with someone else. Absolutely nowhere near the same level of growth and learning.

You can still travel without your spouse. We go on separate holidays sometimes. And either way, it's not rule that people travel alone when not married. Mates, families. Healthy mix

No envy here. Married at 24, just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. Never felt any great desire to 'go travelling'. Lived abroad for a number of years which with young children was adventure enough for us.

Does emigration count as extensive travel?🙈

Believe it or not, @Rozziie, a) you can still travel alone even after you're married/in a relationship, and b) many people just have to muddle through into adulthood without taking months off to travel at all.

I'm 23, been married nearly 4 years. I don't feel I've missed out on anything and my husband isn't my only personality trait so I still have a normal life for a 23 year old. He's older and I'm infertile so we don't have to worry about kids.

Plus if we ever split up I could get married older and definitely wouldn't miss out on anything.

I met my dh when I was in my early 20s, but we didn't marry or have kids til our 30s.

I am not jealous of anyone who waited, but I think personally I was very immature and went for a wrong kind of partner iyswim. I valued passion, fixing each others faults, healing each others pain and all that kind of immature overly romantic crap. It's made a very volatile and unhealthy marriage.

If I could start over now in my 40s, I would look for a partner who is mature, independent, emotionally stable and honest. I wouldn't even want to live with them. Just two grown ups who enjoy each others company and have mutual respect for one another.

Hell no 😀

Oopsie daisy

That was in answer to the op

Very glad that I got married young. I would have hated to be on the dating scene or sleeping with numerous men.

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity

Believe it or not, *@Rozziie*, a) you can still travel alone even after you're married/in a relationship, and b) many people just have to muddle through into adulthood without taking months off to travel at all.

a) You can, but most people don't, do they?

b) That's their choice, in most cases.

Everyone is different. I'm 37 and just the thought of starting with the baby stage (never mind the dating stage ) now makes me feel tired! I was married young and had my last child at 33. Now all 4 are at school which is weird but no regrets at all.

I think this becomes a problem not because of an age, but personality. Some people have the personality that they "morph" into their partner, iykwim. There it doesn't matter whether they are 24 or 34.

Nope. Most of my friends who are settling down and starting families now in their mid 30s I think "fuck that shit, I was knackered with babies at 24 never mind 35". But I'm very happy for them and they've done all their 'footloose and fancy free' living.
Married at 20, mum at 23. Me and DH will get our time for nights out, luxury holidays, lazy mornings by the time we are early 40s. I'm in no rush for it.
DH and I have grown together, it's not all roses by any stretch but I have no regrets. He was studying until our DC were born and has a good career, I am studying now alongside work. We still travel with the kids but I do have a list of 'no kid destinations' I hope to work through. Sex is good and we have explored and experimented together over the years. I don't feel I have missed out on anything. It's worked for us.

@Annoyedanddissapointed

Does emigration count as extensive travel?🙈

No.

Dang

I got married at 32, I wasn't carefree though as I had four children and a few long term relationships behind me. If anything I wish I'd met and married my DH younger.

Nope, I feel like I got lucky as life is short x

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity

Believe it or not, *@Rozziie*, a) you can still travel alone even after you're married/in a relationship, and b) many people just have to muddle through into adulthood without taking months off to travel at all.

Exactly this. Also, it is such a load of drivel that you cannot grow and develop, and experience new and exciting and challenging things if you are with someone else ... I have travelled alone quite a lot AND with my DH too, and both are just as exciting and challenging.

I see so much bitterness and negativity and jealousy, (about travelling with other people) in several posts on here.

Not at all, not sure why anyone in a happy marriage would have want it to come later? I feel utterly lucky to have met my husband so young, we have shared a life in a way very few people get to. He's my best friend, we grew up together. He's my favourite person. Sex life is great, never felt I've missed out due to not shagging other men, quality not quantity and all that!

We very deliberately lived quite independently in our early years, made educational and work decisions that meant being apart from each other for weeks, sometimes months, but it just made us stronger. We knew we couldn't hold each other back at that age, so I honestly don't feel like I've missed out on anything, he's only added to my life. The thought of my life without him makes my blood run cold.

No envy here , I married at 23 and we have been married for 32 yrs very happily .

I married at a really boring, average age which was right for me but don't think there's really a right or wrong way. I know couples who have married both younger and older and both seem pretty happy with it and have each had their own issues to contend with in one way or another.
I do sometimes feel that weddings themselves get a bit boring and samey the older you get, especially when there's lots of friends with kids in your circle. I don't look forward to them like I used to but that's probably just me.

a) You can, but most people don't, do they?

b) That's their choice, in most cases.

...wow.

@MyPatronusIsACat so where did you go on your own? For how long?

I've travelled loads with other people, and it was great. But it was absolutely nowhere near the same level of learning and growth I got from solo travel.

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity

a) You can, but most people don't, do they?

b) That's their choice, in most cases.

...wow.

Bit tone deaf isnt it

As far as i can see lots of people go traveling with a friend

Which is what i did 😉

No - neither me nor DH feel like we missed out on dating more. We found it stressful and we’re both worried we’d never find anyone. First couple of years being married were rocky, but we are really happy now. Not massively fussed about travel - DH doesn’t like it and I did quite a bit when younger and don’t feel much need - apart from to show the kids some different places when they are older. I guess I’d warn my kids that some people who marry young do find it v difficult - and some can grow apart. Be clear about whether you would eventually want kids and whether you and partner share core common goals.