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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to suddenly develope a case of tourettes in M&S cafe!!!!!!

176 replies

littleboo · 05/12/2007 13:33

Went into M&S for a coffee today..... my day off with no children, 2 in school, 1 in nursery.....!
In the queue ( always a queue) about 5 people in front and about 10 behind. Looked round and saw that most of those behind had an other with them , ie hubby, frien etc, then about 6 of " the others" all went and found tables.
So there we are with at leasy 6 people sitting at tables (waiting for the other halves- who are way back in the queue behind me)
The people at the front couldn't find a seat
it really drives me mad.... why can't people just wait until they have at least ordered their food or drink. i only had a coffee, iif i'd been able to find a seat I'd have been gone before some of these had even ordered.
Sorry long rant, but really p..... me ... off!!
Sorry, sorry...... just wanted to stand up in the middle of the shop and shout at all the numpties!

OP posts:

jinglebells2shoessmells · 07/12/2007 11:36

of cause you need a buggy. when ds was little it would have been a nightmare not to have somwhere to put him whilst I got dressed.
needmorecoffe. that is shocking

needmorecoffee · 07/12/2007 12:06

well, I know this is controversial, but the needs of a wheelchair user or a mum with lots of children are higher than those with a one small one in a pushchair.
I used to take 3 small children swimming, leave the double buggy in the cafe area. Yup, they were a pain sometimes but thats small kids for you. But there would be a mum with one child in the family changing room. I know some disabilities are hidden but they never loked disabled to me and so could have managed.

ohcomeALYefaithful · 07/12/2007 12:23

motherofone ok, at our local swimming pool the majority 'family' rooms are barely big enough for the changing unit (which is helpful, although the better ones have the fold down type) and one parent and child to change.

They do mostly, however, have the fold down toddler seats so you can strap the little ones in so you don't have to chase after them, half naked, when they open the door and run off oh the shame!

needmorecoffee · 07/12/2007 12:31

I've yet to see a swimming pool where you can get a disabled child changed. Mind you, I've yet to see a loo with a fold down changing table big enough to change a 15 yo's nappy

allIWannaBeForChristmas · 07/12/2007 12:46

notmorecoffee at some of the experiences you've had. what vile people there are in the world.

I am fortunate not to have had such horrible experiences, although of course it is possible that people have given me dirty looks and I've not seen them .

I did have one experience on a train though, was travelling from Cardiff and train was extremely busy so had managed to find one seat. unbeknown to me the seat had been reserved. So this woman got on at Newport, saw I was sitting in her seat, and huffed and puffed and splluttered, but didn't say anything, instead she stomped off down the train and 5 minutes later came back with the train manager and said "there! This seat is reserved and she is sitting in it! will you move her!" to which the train manager replied "no problem, madam unfortunately this seat is reserved," so I got up and apologised, and he then said, "there madam you can have your seat now, I will take this lady down to first class,". oh how I .

yurt1 · 07/12/2007 12:57

pmsl wannabe- that's funny- good for the train manager.

Too true nmc. Even with ds1 who is physically able I can only take him to disabled sessions. At 8 he;s not allowed to get changed in the ladies with me, but he also can't speak, can't dress himself (although he can undress pretty fast) has no udnerstanding of the danger of water etc, or even how to get into the pool. There's no way I could send him into the male changing rooms alone. So we go to the disabled swimming sessions (2 hours a week in a reasonably sized city) and then he can come in with me.

nappyaddict · 07/12/2007 12:58

yes some people can manage changing a small baby without needing anywhere to put them but whenever i left mine lying or sitting on the floor he would roll or crawl underneath the gap below the door. hardly safe! even when he is walking and i won't need to sit him in the buggy i won't leave it on the poolside unattended and they aren't allowed to be left in the changing rooms blocking access to other people.

please someone tell me how i am meant to get dressed myself when i have a rolling escapee?

Peachy · 07/12/2007 13:38

Our pool has two disabled swim change rooms with luge spaces- you could easily fit yours and dd's chair in NWC- and they're fab. i don't tend to use them as I don't need to atm, although if anyone objects to me having ds1 in the change rooms (now he's 8, but kid only sessions so no adults changing) then I would.

There was an incident some might remember back along when some nasty brats came in and atatcked (smashed head against cidtern) ds1 whilst he was using the room (is also a disabled loo) for 'not being disabled' - youngest Paeds I ever saw but I have taught him to ALWAYS lock the door now.

Peachy · 07/12/2007 13:40

NA what you do (speaking from experience LOL) is lie them on a towel on the floor, stand over them with one leg pressed into each side so they cant escape whilst you dress. Its a bastard and you shouldn't have to do it because there should be space provided, but it does work.

Then in stressed state go and yell at managers for lack of provision.

yurt1 · 07/12/2007 13:46

you get youself dressed first (in case you have to go dashing off fanjo out) then repeatedly grab them. Had that problem with ds1. In the end I moaned about lack of playpen. That makes it easier. Swimming ppols usually have them.

Gipfeli · 07/12/2007 13:59

I'm beginning to see the advantage of the Swiss swimming pool communal changing rooms. The views may not be pleasant but there is plenty of space.

Original poster

littleboo · 07/12/2007 14:11

needmore, have only just come back to read thread and saw your post about the parking.... that is outrageous..... you see I genuinely believe people have lost all respect for anyone. Its all Me.... me.... me now, in queues, swimming pools, driving etc etc, its really sad when you think about it

OP posts:

Peachy · 07/12/2007 14:22

Ah it isn't everyone, there are nice people out there- thing is because they're not pushing into the front of the queues etc they dont get noticed. Take heart: for every meanie pushing ahead tehre's 30 behind waiting aprtiently! (in an average Christmas queue anyhow! )

Original poster

littleboo · 07/12/2007 14:24

Yea peachy i know you must be right logically, but it really just seems that way.

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 07/12/2007 14:27

i do get myself dressed first but he still manages to escape.

peaches - i can't see that working cos he can sit up from lying down, lean forward and crawl away. any other ideas would be welcome.

yurt1 · 07/12/2007 14:33

You just have to keep grabbing them- ds3 was like that -he wouldn't sit still at all. I've seen people bring in various seats etc before as well.

yurt1 · 07/12/2007 14:33

You just have to keep grabbing them- ds3 was like that -he wouldn't sit still at all. I've seen people bring in various seats etc before as well.

needmorecoffee · 07/12/2007 14:33

NA - if 'some' people can manage with 1-3 escaping children I'm not sure why you can't. Not having a dig as I'm just curious. I apologise if you're disabled and I've not seen it in the thread.
When I took my lot swiming (5, 4 and 2) getting undressed was easy although involved lots of 'don't you move' and stern looks. Buggy was left outside. Getting redressed was harder but I'd wrap them in towels so they couldn't move and park them in a row on the floor (did the same when they were younger. Well wrapped they can't crawl or roll and by the time they have unpicked themselves you are decent) and throw clothes on myself still slightly wet.
You did ask how others manage with able bodied children. In a way I am lucky with dd2. Such severe CP she ain't rolling anywhere so could take time getting myself dressed.
But the point I'm making is family rooms are for families, not for lone child and pushchair. Fair enough if there are no other kids there, but if you are struggling with one, think how a mum with 2 or 3 littlies is feeling cos the family room is full.
Wannabe - thats pretty funny. I don't think I get worse episodes than anyone else who is disabled but I am out and about frequently and catch buses and trains lots and I also tell everyone about disablism I've encountered. I'm guessing its everyday stuff for most disabled people. Those two incidents are the worst I've had this year but as Peachy says, most people are nice, queue for you, acrry your tray, make room on a bus etc. They outweigh the tosspots.

needmorecoffee · 07/12/2007 14:34

nappy, your child sounds like every other baby. They all sit up (well, if they don't have disabilities of course) and all will escape. You just learn to deal with it and grow those extra mummy arms

nappyaddict · 07/12/2007 14:35

well would you leave a pushchair unspervised on a pool side while you were in a different room getting changed? i don't trust people to not nick it. we've had a pushchair knicked from outside the car while i was putting ds in his car seat. i take no chances!!

needmorecoffee · 07/12/2007 14:40

well yes, cos I have done. Took my brood swimming every week from when dd1 was a tiny baby right up until ds2 was 6. No way at toddler/children swim time could every mum have got a pushchair into the changing rooms. So everyone parked them in the cafe area.
I will admit that 8 years ago buggies were smaller. I am amazed that many today are bigger than dd's wheelchair and wider than the double buggy I used to have. Harder to park I imagine.

nappyaddict · 07/12/2007 14:48

cafe is upstairs so can't leave it there. pushchairs not allowed in the changing rooms (family changing rooms are separate) so can't even leave it there. all the mum's with pushchairs do as reception tell us and to take it in the family changing rooms and then onto the poolside. i don't know why mums with pushchairs are getting told off for using family changing rooms when that is what we are advised to do. are me and ds not a family just cos it is just the two of us?

pigleto · 07/12/2007 14:54

Communal areas are so much easier than cubicles when you have kids as the dcs can keep themselves amused by making embarrasing comments about the state of your hairy front bottom in front of the other swimmers.

I will go to extreme lengths never to eat in and M&S cafe. Why anyone wants to go there by choice is beyond me.

We have a lovely owner run cafe in town with home baked cakes and great coffee which is half the price of M&S, we can always sit down and someone else carries your coffee to the table.

jinglebells2shoessmells · 07/12/2007 15:10

well i think nappyaddict should use the family changing rooma.

we went swimming(me my ds, dd in wheelchir. her mate in wheelchair, his mum 2 under 8's and another teen) it was brilliant. we we lucky both disabled changing rooms were free. so no probs(teens disapeared) wheelchairs allowed at side of pool.
disabled chaging room was massive with shower and every thig i needed plus big soft mat on floor where i could change her. made the whole trip brilliant.

AwayinaMargoNooNooCribForABed · 07/12/2007 21:09

NMC - It makes my blood boil that people can be so nasty.

What comes round goes round.

Why can't people treat others as they'd like to be treated?

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