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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I going to have SS involved because of this?

308 replies

Sillyoldelfbacktoself · 19/09/2021 19:19

DD is 7, year 3.

She usually has a hot lunch at school but doesn’t like any of the options tomorrow (Pizza, Jacket Potatos and Curry she doesn’t like any of them). She will not eat the cold option of a wrap either – sensory issues around food, she can be very fussy with food - is fine everywhere else, even school have commented on her food.

I went to my dads today on my pedal bike, went shopping for lunchbox stuff (pasta, tomatoes, some fruit and some kitkats) and other stuff then dads dropped me, plus bike home (he has a bike rack on the car) but I’ve left the bags in the boot of the car. I’ve got DD back with me now (she’s been to her dads for the weekend) and dad lives an hour away anyway, there’s no way she could cycle that far. No public transport on a Sunday, no local shops open – nearest shop to me is a Tesco Metro, no corner shops or anything as I’m basically in the town centre.

I don’t own my own car as I can’t afford to (single parent). I walk and cycle everywhere and use public transport if I can’t get there under my own steam.

Dad won’t drive out to me (understandably) and I can’t get to the shop before school starts. I might be able to get there before lunchtime tomorrow but it really depends on my morning meeting and whether I can get back to my town in time.

If I email school whats likely to happen? SS report? It’s the first time it’s ever happened, usually DD will eat at least 1 of the 3 options offered by school or I can get to the shop to get stuff to make it ok.

Lesson learnt, never shop on a Sunday always do it the other days when the Tescos shut at 10pm so I can at least throw something together.

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 19/09/2021 19:49

I think if you were my daughter I’d drive, suck it up and have a laugh about it.

Werebothcrazyface · 19/09/2021 19:49

Will she eat rice? You could cook a bit of chicken and veg and ask them to give her some rice. Tbh, my DS often only eats his crisps (which he's allowed as it's about the only thing he will eat in school) - social services Definetely haven't been called yet!

Waspsarearseholes · 19/09/2021 19:50

You're literally ignoring everybody's suggestions and coming back with yet more problems. Give your daughter cereal and a separate flask of milk for her lunch. You're creating such an issue out of nothing. I also can't believe that, living in a town centre, there isn't a single newsagents or Spar type shop that won't be open before 9. You've had lots of suggestions as to what to do, you're just not interested. It's almost unbelievable.

Aspiringmatriarch · 19/09/2021 19:50

Sorry to ask probably unnecessary questions but do you really have none of the following at home?
Cheese
Pasta
Eggs
Tuna
Fruit (fresh or tinned)
Cereal
Biscuits
Crackers

It's quite unusual to really have nothing in the house although I appreciate I don't know your circumstances and I don't know what your daughter is able to eat. Either way, it's definitely not a social services issue on its own - not even close. School provide a range of options so in theory she's not being made to go hungry. I know that's not the case in practice. Worst case scenario can you speak to the school and ask if they can do something very simple for her based around the things she does eat. They must have things in for the next day etc. Pasta maybe?

DeepaBeesKit · 19/09/2021 19:50

I hate the thought of her going hungry

Give her a big breakfast and have a snack ready for after school. If she is really hungry and has no option you may find she will eat some of the school lunch.

1forAll74 · 19/09/2021 19:50

Can you not tell your child to eat things, as that is all there is, whatever you have got. All this faffing about with food would drive me mad.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/09/2021 19:50

and if SS get involved it will be to assist you in pointers for fussy eating, sensory issues.

OverByYer · 19/09/2021 19:50

Where do live that shops don’t open until 9am? 1975?
Most little shops/ petrol stations are open 24/7 or at least from 7am.
Go via little shop in the way to school and pick up a sandwich she likes/ meal
Deal.

SnarkyBag · 19/09/2021 19:50

This doesn’t make a lot of sense. You cycled to your dad’s who lives an hour away by car? How were you going to cycle back with a big shop of food?

Lipsandlashes · 19/09/2021 19:51

Why doesn’t they Tesco Metro open until 9am? That is unheard of - sorry!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 19/09/2021 19:51

DS2 loved curry days because he got rice and naan bread. He wouldn't touch the curry!

OnlySpam · 19/09/2021 19:51

I'd be more concerned that you appear to have literally no food at all in your house. I appreciate you say you did a big shop but going forward, always wise to keep cheese, crackers and crisps in. They don't go off and they're to hand

This doesn't help you now though so my suggestion is a post in your local community fb group. Other than that, send to school and tell her to try the lunch and if she really can't, you'll have an extra big snack at 3pm for her

SnarkyBag · 19/09/2021 19:51

@MrsLargeEmbodied

and if SS get involved it will be to assist you in pointers for fussy eating, sensory issues.
SS will do fuck all to assist with fussy eating and sensory issues
mumwon · 19/09/2021 19:51

put some mixed veg in rice & cook add some herbs & to add flavour either a little soya sauce or worcester or a small bit of stock cube (cook 2 measures of water to rice)
if you have eggs you could make pancakes with jam sugar or honey & mixed in dried sultanas
make pasty with mince & frozen veg if you have marg/oil & flour (look up various recipes for pastry & adapt) (you can flavour with dash of worcester or soya sauce salt & pepper)

erictheavocado · 19/09/2021 19:51

Given the situation you are in, I am surprised your dad won't help out by driving the food to you. Certainly, if my DC, and by extension dgc was in your position, it's what dh and I would do.
What does she have for breakfast? Could she take some cereal to school? I kniw our school kitchen would do their best to accommodate your dds sensitivities and would, at least, sort out some cereal and milk.

Cherryana · 19/09/2021 19:52

As long as you get lunch to her school by lunch time (probably 12pm) tomorrow it will be alright. Just take her lunchbox to reception.

Maybe your dad would be able to do it?

You don’t have to stress before school and it gives you some extra time to sort it out.

LtGreggs · 19/09/2021 19:53

So she would eat the beans from the top of the potato, plus a banana. That's what half the other kids having the school baked potato will do! She'll be fine and the secretary doesn't even need a phone call. This is a non-issue.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/09/2021 19:53

accept any help SS offer
or the school flag up op

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 19/09/2021 19:53

I have children who are neuro diverse with sensory issues. I have never entertained the fussy eating. If they don't want it that is fine, but there isn't an option of something else and they have to get on with it. Now they are older, they are not fussy now at all. I would let her get on with it. That is a life skill.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 19/09/2021 19:53

Dad won’t drive out to me (understandably)

No, it's not "understandably" at all. He has your shopping in the boot of the car. He doesn't live THAT far away if you cycled there on a bike, assuming your name is not Sarah Storey or Chris Hoy.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/09/2021 19:54

i would drive to you if you were my daughter

emuloc · 19/09/2021 19:55

@Waspsarearseholes

You're literally ignoring everybody's suggestions and coming back with yet more problems. Give your daughter cereal and a separate flask of milk for her lunch. You're creating such an issue out of nothing. I also can't believe that, living in a town centre, there isn't a single newsagents or Spar type shop that won't be open before 9. You've had lots of suggestions as to what to do, you're just not interested. It's almost unbelievable.
This. But look how many posters are trying to help the Op solve this non issue.
laalaaland · 19/09/2021 19:55

I think it's an extreme reaction to think SS are going to get involved over this.

Be kind to yourself. You made a mistake, not the end of the world. Take a breath, make a plan. Move on and stop beating yourself up over it.

Make some kind of snack box with what you have in...a pot of dried cereal, a drink of milk, some cooked chicken, some cooked frozen veg. Seems like a well balanced meal to me. Kids are weird. They like that kind of random shit!

If that really doesn't work for you, order her a school dinner. The school day is not that long. If she has a good substantial breakfast and you are ready with a hearty snack for when she's finished, she'll be fine.

NerrSnerr · 19/09/2021 19:55

Does your dad live an hour away in the car or on a bike?

Tesco should open at 6 or 7 tomorrow are you sure it's 9am. Is there a local Londis or Co-op nearby? They should open at 6am too.

LynetteScavo · 19/09/2021 19:56

If you're genuinely worried about SS involvement then just pay for her to have a school lunch. You've done your parenting part by providing food for her. Is she chooses not to eat it that's up to her. (I have a child with sensory issues, I do get it). But I see she will have a JP.

Give her a big breakfast abs a snack after school.

I think you're worried about SS involvement because there are other issues going on. You cycled somewhere that is an hour away by car? That is good going! And then you let him drive off without getting the shipping out? That concerns me. When will he bring it to you?