AIBU - she told her employer I'd worked for her

[Dibbydoos]

So friend - met through work 10yrs ago - started a new job. I'm self employed. She said she told her employer about me and try wanted to interview me. I said salary is low side - about £30k less than I earned in my last proper job - but OK. Had the interview, my friends on the panel. She asks me a question, I start to think about an answer and she starts answering it for me. I let her finish and then say, yes that's an example but I was thinking about ... and give my example. I'm a bit perturbed. Then she says we'll you did work for me and I say, we reported to different directors, my director was an exec and your directors boss. They tell me they're going to make me a job offer. I catch up with my fried for lunch with another mutual friend. As mains are served she says and you'll be working for me. Our mutual friend says, that's not going to work. Don't ruin your friendship over work. I agree, it won't work as they're going to pay me more than you and in any case it'll get in the way of our friendship. She says we'll I didn't going it would be a problem as you've worked for me before and I tell her politely but straight that I've never worked for her. Finish lunch, me and mural friend are car sharing and she says wtf. I say wtf I'm so pd off. We were the same level but I reportedto an exec director she reported to his direct report how could I have worked for her. Well it seems that's what she told them. Someone a couple of years earlier said to me that I'd worked for her and I put them right. So how long has been saying this? I've always been on a higher salary than her and outside of consultancy held more senior roles than her. Anyway I told her to correct it cos it wasn't untenible otherwise and she aired me for 5 days, so I told her to do one. Our mutual friend said I'm being reasonable, she's obviously upset and I found myself a great contract so all's good workwise, but she's fd up my options with that consultancy now and has clearly been somehow using me to big herself up at work. I feel bad cos she lost her daughter 2 years ago and her mum's just died too. I don't know she has many friends who are balanced and reasonable like me, but she crossed a line imo. First time I've cut a friend off in my life. What do you think? AIBU?

If you honestly don’t understand the post at all why bother replying?
Because it’s a written medium we don’t have visual cues or vocal intonation, and because it’s online we can’t ask the op to explain or elaborate. It’s a written post, we only have that so yes it is legitimate to post one doesn’t understand.

@EspressoDoubleShot

If you honestly don’t understand the post at all why bother replying? Because it’s a written medium we don’t have visual cues or vocal intonation, and because it’s online we can’t ask the op to explain or elaborate. It’s a written post, we only have that so yes it is legitimate to post one doesn’t understand.

Several people have already posted the exact same. Repeatedly posting can’t understand, can’t understand isn’t helpful. And there are a few posters who seem to have understood the post and been able to answer it.

If you read it carefully I think it’s quite clear what’s happened and what the op is upset about, as I explained in my post.

For those who have understood original post,they have a wholly different experience and response to the post. That’s their experience derived form understanding the post and feeling able to comment.

Those of us who didn’t understand the op(and let’s face it there are multiple posters didn’t understand) have the experience of a gibberish post we cannot adequately respond to.

Classic mumsnet pile on for checks notes daring to write colloquially on an informal internet platform

It’s not the colloquialisms, it’s the unintelligible post. It is gibberish
There’s no clear defined structure, the who and what of the situation is unclear. I got that op said wtf,the friend said wtf and deduced there had clearly been some kind of set to

I'm trying to comprehend as well. Firstly your "friend" should not have been on the interview panel. That's biased as it puts you at an advantage ahead of other candidates.
Secondly, she should have not answered for you at the interview. I would have pointed this out at the time.
Thirdly I would have corrected any statements at the time insinuating that you worked for this individual.
Can you make sure these potential employees know this?

Ultimately if this friend has been so involved in interview panels, and you will be reporting to her directly, I'm not sure this role would be a good fit for you. It's asking for trouble.

I wouldn't cut off the friendship as she just sounds insecure, but I wouldn't work for her.

Finally, I agree that your original post was difficult to understand. The wording was very unclear, but thank you for explaining further.

I'm also laughing at the poster who criticised your spelling and grammar, then said "peice" instead of "piece". Very funny!

Other posters have managed to make sense of what happened. If you didn’t understand it, you could have asked for clarification over a specific point or, seeing that the lack of spag had already been mentioned, just moved on to another thread that you could follow.

Multiple posters saying it’s unintelligible doesn’t help.

I think your OP is garbled but I get your point. I'd be unimpressed if a workplace peer subsequently tried to imply they had been more senior/managing me. To do so she has to be either lying about her own employment history/seniority, or lying about yours to make it seem you were less experienced thus junior to them. Neither are good.

Blimey, you write for a living?

I was coming to the end of a contract so was looking for an opportunity. She works for a brilliant global consultancy that I've worked with as a client for many years, so yes of course I was interested even with a pay cut. If not I def wouldn't have bothered with an interview, would I.

And who's childish? I think I was spot on not accepting her lies or do you think otherwise? I posted cos I'd like to know. Getting a bit fed up of stupid unrelated comments about the post. Read it by sentence, crickey poetry has little if any real punctuation but we call read and understand that, or can we?!

and because it’s online we can’t ask the op to explain or elaborate.

Of course you can ask the OP to elaborate.

Damn this thread is savage! Also 30k pay cut, wow I'm in the wrong job 😂

@Andylion

and because it’s online we can’t ask the op to explain or elaborate.

Of course you can ask the OP to elaborate.

Ask in another medium given the written post is so incomprehensible We only have the op written posts and tbh they are hard going

Poetry? I fear not . It is a stream of words jammed together without a flow, with poor spelling and grammar is most certainly not poetry.

Your subsequent posts show you clearly can write, but...

crickey poetry has little if any real punctuation but we call read and understand that, or can we?!

...poetry it was not.

crickey poetry

What's crickey poetry?

@girlmom21

crickey poetry

What's crickey poetry?

I wondered this, and even googled 🤣

I concluded that OP meant to say:

“Crikey! Poetry has…”

If so, I disagree that poetry has little punctuation. Much is just as structured as prose.

@Cocomarine I love that you googled it 😂 I assumed she'd meant crikey but I'm really concerned that this person writes for a living. I hope it's just magazine articles!

@girlmom21 I really thought it might be a stream of consciousness type style, and didn’t want to be ignorant 🤣

Tis a stream of something.

Doesn’t smell like consciousness though.

Writing colloquially is not the same as writing incoherently.

I don’t have a bachelors or a masters, and always read before I post.

If you genuinely can’t understand something because it is written in one paragraph and not broken down then I think that says more about your own intelligence.

OP your ‘friend’ sounds like a bit of a dick who has lied to make herself feel more important. Have you asked her outright why she lied?

@Dibbydoos

I was coming to the end of a contract so was looking for an opportunity. She works for a brilliant global consultancy that I've worked with as a client for many years, so yes of course I was interested even with a pay cut. If not I def wouldn't have bothered with an interview, would I.

And who's childish? I think I was spot on not accepting her lies or do you think otherwise? I posted cos I'd like to know. Getting a bit fed up of stupid unrelated comments about the post. Read it by sentence, crickey poetry has little if any real punctuation but we call read and understand that, or can we?!

I think you were going for less poetry and more Molly Bloom's stream of consciousness at the end of Ulysses in the OP, weren't you?

Anyhow, getting into territorial pissings with a member of the interview panel was probably a really, really bad idea for the future.

But I'm sure you'll manage.

@KaptainKaveman

It's clear that the OP does not write for a living.

Nothing else is, however.

Mumsnet was brill when it first started it now seems to be filled with people who are so fat up their arses they can see for shit.

Don't worry.

You're not going to work with her , you've got a better job.

she's fd up my options with that consultancy now I don't think so.
If that consultancy get in touch just say wte "Before we have a conversation, there is something that needs to be clarified. ; A long time ago Ms Bigup and I were employed by the same company in different departments , I did not work for her or under her."

and leave it at that.

She dug a hole for herself only; you very wisely did not step in.